Rubbing My Balls

I’ve been playing with my balls for a long time. Ever since I was a kid. I’ve got a pretty nice set.

After you’ve been playing with your balls for a while, it’s important to clean them, otherwise they tend to get a little sticky. They don’t move well or bounce right at all. Let’s face it, it’s just not as fun playing with them when they’re all dirty and gummed up. Nobody else wants to play with them either.

I take a very light chamois, moist with cool water, and lightly rub it over the entire surface of the ball. It doesn’t give them that deep clean, but it gets off the the surface dust and such. Afterwards you’ll find that they’re more sticky then ever, so it’s important to move onto the next stage right away.

Get the windex out and scrub those balls. Nothing says professionalism like having your balls clean enough to lick.
Once they feel totally clean, I give them the once over with Pledge. The slight waxiness, and lemon odor gives your balls a crisp hard feel, and adds to the attractiveness of your rack.

Now you’re ready to grab your stick and play!



I come in here looking for a nice, healthy penis for our Penis Beer party, and I find this.

Scylla, you’re such a tease. :smiley:

Oooo, Scylla! You can chalk my stick any day.

Penis beer party?

Can I come?

damn it… how’d that happen.

my post shoulda been.

heh, you know what they say about a man with nice clean balls don’t you.

I’ll bite.

What do they say?

::Lining up shot::

Hairy balls. Crotch pocket.

Do you let others play with your balls too? In your pockets?

Heehee… ::blushes::

though I can’t come up with anything humorous (nothing unusual there, god I suck)… that really sounds like instructions on a croquette set I had once, minus the history part…

(and no… that isn’t a line of BS… I actually had a croquette set that suggested regularly washing your balls and using a light pollishing spray on them)

damn I wish I could come up with a good dirty pun… but hey, I suck…

I’m a little fuzzy on how your balls would get sticky. I mean, I can see how you might expect to get felt on your balls, but I don’t think that would be entirely unpleasant.

Lux Fiat; I’d rather get a little fuzzy every now and then than miss out entirely :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile:

I like to clean mine to get all of the dirt off; and sometimes I try to take a shortcut, and somehow manage to get excess “tree-sap” on them. Sometimes they’ll turna bit green too, but this takes that green right off, and gives them their original natural glow back. I’ll smear them with Rubbing alcohol, now, some people say this is too harsh, but I think that it’s just right. then I’ll take a towel, and smooth the rubbing alcohol over the ENTIRE surface of the ball, kneading and rubbing to clean every dimple, and sometimes, a scratch or two. then I’ll take a different edge of my towel, and dry them 'till they’re squeaky clean. Anyhow, that’s how I clean my golf-balls…