No, featherlou, actually I felt like your response was well-measured. It was more the attitude of other posters (“write your thank-yous within two days or your gifts will be taken away?”) that was getting to me.
So, I wasn’t referring to you. Sorry if you felt like I was.
I admit readily that my attitude is vindictive, but I don’t apologize for it. I’m sick to death of the epidemic of rudeness, ingratitude and disgusting self-centeredness that has gripped our society and I don’t believe for one moment that those who exhibit such misanthropic traits to such an appalling extent should be given further opportunities to take advantage of people of goodwill.
I think it’s especially unnecessary to be kind to people who are so selfish and disgusting that in the midst of the orgy of gift-giving that accompanies in this season that they can’t take a moment to say two short, monosyllabic words of acknowledgement of a gift from a relative.
Act like an asshat, get treated like an asshat. It is the height of arrogance and a wholly misplaced sense of entitlement to think that gifts should flow freely without any regard to the behavior or attitude of a recepient who proves themself time and again to be devoid of decency.
One thing I’ve never been clear on- IF they send you the gift in late October/early November, but it says “Do Not Open Until Christmas,” do you give them a call right then (it’s the thought that counts, giving them the impression you ignored the DNO on the front), or wait until Christmas (More holiday spirit, but they might think you’re filthy ingrates)?
I’ve gotten complaints from my Aunt Rosa both ways (this is the same woman who turned over a tea set in from the the gift giver and said “oh, it’s only silver plated”), which shouldn’t effect me at all except for the fact that it happened while I was still young and impressionable.
Zoe, I received a Christmas gift in the mail and I still haven’t written a thank-you note for it yet. I will, but frankly, today has been the first day since Christmas that hasn’t been taken up with family obligations, work, and cleaning. Cut folks a little slack. I’m a big believer in thank-yous, but this time of year gets hairy for a lot of people.
I’m a little confused here… you think it’s arrogant of me to give gifts without requiring a thank-you for them within a time frame set by me?
Interesting.
If you know who it’s from without opening it, you could call right away and say, “I received an exciting looking package in the mail today - I sure can’t wait to open it Christmas day!” And then send a note after Christmas thanking the person for the specific gift.
I have always written my thank-you notes New Year’s Day, and am really surprised to learn that people expect to receive a thank you note within three days of Christmas, or expect to receive a call. I always thought it was perfectly acceptable to send a written thank you only.
I guess I’m lucky…all my family is close by, so we open presents at each other’s houses. No thank you notes needed, but plenty of hugs and kisses.
I was forced to write thank you letters (not just brief notes) to relatives as a kid. I hated it. A phone call was not sufficient. As a consequence, I do not expect thank you notes from anyone I give gifts to; it’s my pleasure to give the gift, and there is no obligation to do anything other than enjoy the gift. Nor do I require my kids to write thank you letters or notes. I don’t believe in giving gifts with strings attached.
I think a lot of people just don’t do the Thank You notes anymore. My mother would have strung me up and left me there if I ever received a gift and didn’t send a Thank You note within 2 weeks.
I sent out LOTS of thank yous after receiving wedding gifts. I sent out thank yous after receiving baby gifts. I send them out after birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, etc.
I am trying my best to teach my 7 year old to do the same. I buy the notes and write a short part then at the least get him to sign his name.