I’ve been on both sides – horribly obese, and stick-thin. Lots of people commented, from the “You’d be so much prettier if you’d lose a few pounds,” (Yeah, like a hundred or so, as if I didn’t already know I was overweight.), to the “Don’t you ever eat? I hate you; you’re so skinny.” (Ever hear of an eating disorder? Not fun, I assure you.)
Commenting on others’ appearance is simply RUDE. It’s akin to “My, that’s a HUGE zit on your nose!” or “Wow, what hugely protruding buckteeth you have!”
I don’t care if people intend it as a compliment; my body size is none of their damn business, any more than their complexion or dental construction is any of mine.
I like what sperfur posted, about her viewpoint from the other end. I can see not getting tired of people making comments about one’s weight, if they are viewed as positive compliments, or at least with that experience under your belt. I think there’s room to examine the source of the comments, so it’s something for me to think about.
My experience has been a lot like yours, Cerri. I agree that women tend to be the worst when it comes to weight comments, at least once again, in my experience. My mother has never been happy with my weight, and it’s a constant topic with her, though it helps me to take what she says with a grain of salt. Once I realized she was never going to be happy with my weight, there wasn’t a lot for me to take from her comments. I imagine a lot of people have experienced something similar.
I also understand what a lot of posters have said, regarding the comments being made out of envy or intended as a compliment. I think that can be the case, though I’d prefer a, “Wow, you look nice today,” as opposed to, “Gee, you sure are skinny, do you ever eat?” While I don’t think a person’s weight is the last safe group to pick on, not even close, I do think a lot of people don’t think twice about weight comments, to either group. I believe rudeness is rudeness, regardless of which group has it tougher. Telling me it is tougher to be overweight, I can believe it, and yet still have a legitimate point about rudeness to thin people.
I’d like to point out, that by whatever stretch, a lot of the comments are not made out of envy. I’ve been told how skinny I am on more than one occasion, and didn’t take it as rude. Being told I am not a real woman, because of my size is something harder to give a person the benefit of the doubt on. I know there are other people like me size-wise (Cerri being a good example), who do not use drugs, starve themselves, or are filled with angst over trying to acheive a model figure. Some people are really built that way, and yes, they are real men and women.