Oooh! Oooh! Caffeine and insufficient sleep combine to spawn the following exchange, stored for next time someone asks me the following dread question…
Questioner: “So, where are you from?”
Me: “I’m Canadian. We fled the country when I was a baby to escape the marauding Tim Horton’s groupies.”
“…Oh. Ha-ha! So, where are you REALLY from?”
“Texas. Well, in spirit. I don’t call myself related to the current Republicans there, mind you. Honestly, what will they think of next–”
“No no no. Where were you born?”
“Canada.”
“Okay, where’s your family from? You’re not all… you know… Canadian…are you?”
“Do you HAVE something against Canadians? Although I wouldn’t blame you for having a thing about them funny Quebecois folks. I mean, really, poutine?”
“Oh, no no no! Not at all! I just want to know where you’re *really * from.”
(repeat ad nauseam until someone gets dragged off in an I-love-you jacket)
(nb: I’m actually Indonesian-Chinese, with accompanying unpronounceable Chinese name. Apparently if one’s Asian, one can’t possibly be Canadian or Texan, for some odd reason… )
Being a wheelchair user, I’ve been asked a myriad of weird/rude questions and gotten almost as many weird comments.
My all-time favorite - and people ask this more often than you would think - is this:
“So, what’s wrong with you?”. Just like that.
Um… WHAT? Are you kidding me? Where’s the hidden camera?
I mean, I know that they’re asking why it is I use a wheelchair, but let’s get real, shall we? Would it really tax their brains that much more to stop themselves and ask in a slightly less obnoxious way? Apparently so.
If I were a nastier person, I’d come back with, “Nothing, actually. What’s wrong with you?”.
PinkFreud already got this one, but I HATE being asked “Is that your real hair color?” Yes, I was redheaded before the grey started creeping in. This is the closest I can find to what my real color was. Now go away.
My husband is a RN, and I have actually had 2 people (I think they were human - otherwise they were trolls with very good makeup and costuming) ask me if he was gay. The first time I was speechless. The second time I asked “why do you think I would be married to a gay man?”
As for the “why don’t you two have children” (which we heard a LOT in the first ten years of our marriage) my standard answer is “because I don’t want to go to jail for killing a rugrat.”
My sister-in-law actually had the nerve, not to try to talk me into having children, but to talk me OUT of my reasons for not having them. I have always thought that I would not be a good parent - I am not comfortable with children and have extremely limited patience with them. This woman is trying to tell me that “once you have one you will love it.” I tried to explain that I didn’t think I was incapable of loving a child - I just didn’t think I would be a good parent. Then I thought again and asked her if she had looked at the stats on child abuse and neglect lately? I bet all those parents loved their kids! And this woman has no children herself!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! (She did cut that kind of crap out and now we get along fine.)
I always ask, “Are you from Montreal?” Since I’m a student, 7/8ths of the people I know aren’t, so it’s a reasonable question. Also, the person can answer in however much detail they want.
People love to ask my ethnicity. They go through tons: Italian, Mexican, Greek, Filipino, pick any Middle Eastern or Asian, really - I’ve had em all. Yes, I have been stopped in the street and asked this (although a bit less so in SoCal than when I lived in Colorado).
“Do you get straight A’s in school?/What’s your GPA?/What did you get on your SAT’s?”
All of these questions make me really uncomfortable. The first one because while I can be knowlegeable in some areas, I didn’t exactly get outstanding grades in college (around 75% B’s and 25% C’s, very few A’s unfortunately ). I’ve made this rant before, but I often feel that there is this assumption that if you are smart enough to get into college you are guaranteed to excel at it. This isn’t always true. There are plenty of ‘average’ students like me, who finished college but didn’t make the Dean’s list or gaduate cum laude.
The second question bothers me for the same reason the first one does. Mainly because it seems like there are people whose life revolves around a person’s GPA. While that number might be essential for things like graduate school or certain programs, to me it is just a number. Yes, I graduated with a 2.5 GPA. No, I am not a retard.
The third question is annoying because I never took the SAT/ACT or any of those tests. I didn’t need to (I was planning on going into community college first to save tuition costs) and personally I find it extremely stupid to have a test that is supposed to evaluate your knowlege and potential for knowlege that people have to STUDY for. Personally I think a better evaluation would be to test them on information off the top of their head, not how well they can memorize and regurgitate.
Whenever I’m home on break, it seems that someone takes it upon themselves to demand: “Why would you want to go to school so far away from home?”
The answer, of course, is to escape from the astounding rudeness.
“Why are you so short?”
Answer: “My parents starved me as a child.”
The best ever, when a friend of my mothers’ heard I wasn’t going to my senior prom: “Oh, sweetheart, don’t you want to act like a girl and be pretty for once?”
My cousin is biracial and you wouldn’t believe how often she gets asked “What are you?” Just like that. Then whoever’s asking expects her to be flattered that they’re taking an interest in her.
My particular pet peeve is when creepy guys on the street ask me what my name is. Um, I was taught not to talk to strangers, mister.
Definitely “How much do you weigh?” Yes, I’m a bit taller than most girls and could stand to have a little more meat on my bones but that doesn’t give you the right to know the exact number of pounds I’m carrying around.
Also: “Why don’t you eat beef?” Long story. You don’t want to hear it, you really don’t. And if I tell you why, you won’t understand anyway so just let it go. It’s particularly annoying that my mother will tell just about ANYONE that “oh, my daughter won’t eat beef anymore because of yadda yadda yadda and let me skew the story around and make her tell it to you herself!”
Once, when a new coworker found out I was gay, she asked me whether I’d been sexually abused as a child, or whether I’d ever sexually abused a child. My god, lady, if my answers had been “yes,” do you really think I’d want to discuss it with you?
Then there are the people who immediately ask about Michael Jackson or abusive priests. I know these are topics that everybody discusses, but the conversation shouldn’t progress like this:
HA! And the Welsh blood has nothing to do with it, I suppose? (Think Catherine Zeta-Jones, John Rhys-Davies, and Tom Jones) It is freakin’ hilarious, though!
)
). I’ve made this rant before, but I often feel that there is this assumption that if you are smart enough to get into college you are guaranteed to excel at it. This isn’t always true. There are plenty of ‘average’ students like me, who finished college but didn’t make the Dean’s list or gaduate cum laude.