Small request–
Could someone edit out the mock-HTML code that says “sneer and snide tone of voice”? I didn’t mean to leave it in there.
Thanks.
Well being 6’5" and over 225 people are generally very nice to me.
But way back when I was in 4th grade at Waikea in Hilo, HI I was walking somewhere and this big 6th grader walks by and says to me “Fucking haoli!” I never saw him before, never saw him again and the weirdest part was he was just as White as me. He looked real angry too. Haoli is the Hawaiian term for foreigner. It’s amazing how these little things stick in your mind all these years.
I was at the gym, chatting idly with the guy on the next bike.
“So, what do you do?” he asked.
“I’m an English teacher,” I said.
“Not married, right?” he said.
“Actually, I’m not,” I said.
“Yeah, you’ll never get married. Nobody wants a girl who’s always correcting their grammar,” he said.
Riiiiiiiight.
Ah… pittsburgh… I was crossing Forbes avenue in 1997 and a passing car threw a cup of hot coffee that hit me in the thigh. Fun place. 
While I was working at McDs back, Scott left this huge hickey on my neck one night. I tried to cover it up with makeup, but it still shone through. The next day I went to work, and a customer noticed it. “You must be a good f–k, I’ll bet you’re cheap too!” I brushed him off and walked away, and let my cashier take over serving him. When my cashier opened the window to give him his food, the guy asked him how I was in bed, because I was “pretty hot for a McDonalds manager”
fizgig, being kerb-crawled is when some guy drives really slowly past you and attempts to pick you up, assuming that you are a streetwalker.
Hey, Osiris, you think you had it bad? I went to PAHOA! I think I was called a fucking haole every other day. Oh well.
(When did you graduate?)
Some of these tales make my jaw drop. I feel lucky. I once had an older lady in Vienna ask me the time (I’m pretty sure. . .) but when I looked at my watch and told her (my accent is probably bad) she suddenly got very angry and hauled off and whacked me with an umbrella. Huh?
Well, yosemitebabe I don’t know if Oklahoma counts as the “South” but it’s pretty close, and I know you’re not making it up. I’ve gained a lot of weight over the years, and I’ve seen (and heard) it all. I’ve been mooed at in a bar. I was, just a few weeks ago, stooping to get something off a low shelf in the grocery store. I wasn’t bending at the waist, therefore putting my ass in the air, just stooping, but I guess it’s funny to see fat people do anything that normal people wouldn’t think twice about doing. Anyway, while I’m browsing this low shelf, a woman and her boyfriend/hubby walk by. She nudges him with her elbow, points at me, then laughs. Like I don’t have eyes. I know I’ve been told at least 50 times that I’d be SO pretty if I would just lose weight (and that’s usually from non-strangers.) Oh yeah, one of my husband’s “friends” told me my legs look like ham hocks. I am going to hit that guy one of these days.
Two things not related to my weight:
I got pregnant with my son when I was in high school. Of course that brought a lot of rude comments from a lot of people, but the one I remember the most was one of my male classmates, and a guy I considered to be a friend at the time, asking me if I wanted to f***, since we didn’t have to worry about me getting pregnant. I cried over that one.
I was in a Blockbuster video with a friend of mine when my (then very hyper - I’ll admit) child had pretty much worn me to a frazzle. I told my friend I’d meet him in the car, he was nearly done anyway. After we left, my friend told me that the girl who was working commented after I walked out that my kid was crazy, and that I must’ve done drugs when I was pregnant with him. I reported THAT incident to the manager but I have no clue what sort of reprimand, if any, she got.
Yep. Pretty rude.
I was going to meet a friend at a restaurant, it was crowded and there were people standing outside. I went to pull into one of the handicapped spaces near the door and there was a man standing in the space. He turned and just stood in the spot staring at me. My window was rolled down and I asked him, “Are you going to move?” He then started to ask me where my handicap sign was (like I owed him proof) and then he saw the sign lying on my dash, and stepped out of the spot. Instead of just politely moving on he decided to take a parting shot and said, “Must be mental.”
I spent the next five minutes getting my wheelchair out of my car and then wheeled by him on my way into the restaurant.
I was walking through Evanston one night and a car full of college kids rolled by. One of them looked at me and said, “You’re overweight, but that’s okay.”
Probably the same little asshole.
I was in the city to hang out with some friends that I don’t see very often when I was about 17. We had hung out for the day, and we were getting ready to go our separate ways (well, mostly I was preparing to go their separate ways, because I had the car, and was going to drop them all off). As I’m walking through the entrance to the parking garage, I pause to read some of the signs on the wall about how much you have to pay (I had to find out if I’d have to go to the ATM to get some more money)
I become aware of someone speaking in very cross voice of escalating volume. I turn around and there’s an oldish (60+) woman who’s scolding/yelling. At me. It turns out that I’m a worthless disrespectful asshole for cutting line in front of her.
Me, as I step aside: What? I’m not in line. I just stopped here for a second to–
Her, following and interrupting me: …parents didn’t teach you any manners, you should respect your elders, but no, you just do whatever you want because you don’t have any consideration for the people who…
Me, moving further away: No, really, I’m sorry. I didn’t intend to be in a line, see, I just stopped to read the–
Her: …are around you. Damn spoiled teenagers with your designer clothes* and fuck-all attitude, driving your flashy cars** around, probably would run me over if I was in your way the way you just go around…
This continued for some time. Eventually, I just got tired of listening to her and turned my back to her to read the sign. We were, at this point, far away from whatever line she had imagined existed for the purpose of approaching the wall with the signs on it. She continued to harass us for the next several minutes while my friend got money from the ATM.
Oh, and just for the record:
- I would guess that I was wearing a standard white t-shirt and Levi’s
** I drove an '85 Camry with no compression in one of it’s four cylinders. Ah… that takes me back. Turning off the air conditioner when the light turned green because my little engine couldn’t run the compressor and the wheels at the same time.
"YOU ARE PRETTY WELL-SPOKEN FOR A SINGLE MOTHER FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY."
(Go to hell, motherfucker.)
To elaborate on the above, it was said to me in AUGUSTA, GEORGIA, where they are so backwards that they are currently in the national spotlight for keeping women members out of their prestigious golf course.
I’m sorry Cosmo, but “Get something that accentuates your eyes - they’re your best non-boob feature,” sounds pretty funny and innocent (dare I say, flattering?) to me. Not my call of course, but maybe you should have cut the guy a little slack.
Pahoa, the only scary part of Hawaii. Deliverance scary. I graduated from Kaimuki HS in 1992.
During my shift working as a Crossing Guard, I get really impatient drivers sometimes when I am crossing kids. One time, an irate middle aged man in an SUV screamed at me, “Will you get the F**K out of the way?” as about 30 kids were shuffling across the street. Crazy bastard! Glad I got a good look at his plates and reported him.
I’ve got three incidents, the last one inspired by Osiris.
First, back when I was working in Japanese tourism in Hawaii, one of my clients asked if my light brown hair was real and started tugging on it! It is, and it’s rather firmly attached!:eek:
Back here in Pennsylvania, a male co-worker told me once, “You’re kind of like a moped. You’d be fun to ride, but no one would want to admit it.” I think he meant it as a compliment.
Finally, once when I was hospitalized for clinical depression, I was speaking Japanese to one of the staff, when another patient said to me, “Go back where you came from.” I assume she meant Japan, but I’m English-born and about as white as you can get! Then again, I assumed she had worse problems than I did.
By the way, Osiris, if you see a rather spectacular fireworks display over Kaimuki on New Year’s Eve, that’s probably my old boyfriend’s family. Thanks for bringing back good memories.
CJ
When I was in school, a group of us were waiting for the bus, and had dumped our bags on the floor while we chatted. IIRC, we weren’t on the pavement, but inside the bus terminus. This old guy walks up, finds one of our bags on the floor, apparently inhis way and… kicks it to one side… we just stood there, mouths agape, completely surprised - by the time we’d recovered enough to do or say something, he’d gone, and the bus had arrived…
The correct response is, of course, “‘his grammar.’ ‘Their’ is plural.” 
When I was planning on moving in with my then-fiancee, one of my mother’s friends called up and told me he wouldn’t ever buy the cow when he was getting the milk for free.