I have enjoyed the information I have been given on his topic.I really had no idea how S&M and Bondage differed.Although I have a few questions I would like answered if possible.How does “scat” arouse people.And I know I’m not the only wondering this here but what attracts homosexuals to the same sex body? I realize that no-one here is probably a Psych. major from harvard(or wherever) but I really like to know if it is possible to understand the psychological output of a person of the homosexual persuasion. If you can answer my questions it would be rather nice thank you very much for your time to read this post.
Of course here is the link ^^ http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_065.html
Why limit the question? What attracts heterosexuals to the opposite sex? I can’t answer that one, either.
That’s easy – survival of the species. A species with members not attracted to the opposite sex would quickly die out.
Okay, you know how most guys feel when they look at a naked woman? That’s how lesbians feel when they look at a naked woman, too. And when a woman looks at a naked man? Pretty much identical to how a gay man feels when he looks at a naked man.
I’m not sure why this concept is so hard to grasp for so many people. But then, I’m bi, and I’ve never really understood all you freaky monosexuals in the first place.
Speaking as one of those freaky monosexuals, I can understand why (if I were a woman) I’d be attracted to other women – I can’t image being attracted to men. Of course, if I had been born a woman,who knows what I’d have felt: I’d be a completely different person.
But you’re right: there isn’t that much difference between male and female bodies, so if we’re attracted to one, we should be attracted to the other. Our loss and your gain, I guess.
Classic conversation between my gay cousin, who loathes his brother-in-law, and his straight twin sister:
Straight Sis: I can understand how a man can be attracted to another man, but I can’t understand why a woman would sleep with another woman.
Gay cuz: I understand how a man can sleep with a man, and I understand how a woman can sleep with a woman. I can understand how a man can sleep with a woman, and I understand how a woman can sleep with a man. But I can’t understand how anyone could sleep with your husband.
She was not amused.
[phoebe buffay]
“Sometimes men love women
And sometimes men love men
And then there are bisexuals
Though some just say they’re kidding themselves”
“La la la la la la…”
[/phoebe buffay]
sigh
Lisa Kudrow makes me thank Og I’m heterosexual.
[sub]But isn’t it spelled Bouffet?[/sub]
I can’t answer your question, but I want to point out that you’ll be surprised who we’ve got floating around here.
It’s impossible to tell heterosexual and homosexual people apart based on their responses to standard psychological testing. The exception to this is if you ask them.
Og help me, I’m going to have to disagree.
There are species with mating habits that don’t really involve attraction as humans think of it. Their behavior is very mechanical and not the complex psychological morass we two-leggers wade through. Many species don’t have any psychological make-up at all, relative to homo sapiens.
Mating is a triggered response in many animals. In some insects, the female is likely more attracted to a male for his potential as a meal rather than his potential as a mate.
As to homosexual attraction, I have a pet theory regarding the evolutionary benefit of same, but I doubt it would fly here. I can say anecdotally that I know devout homosexuals who have heterosexual pasts and some have biological children.
Scat, bondage, S&M and the like all have such a complex psychological component that I have to wonder if the sexual aspect is secondary.
Right, but I don’t think that was what the OP was asking. There are some complex psychological and chemical processes which go on to make a heterosexual man attracted to women. There are also some presumably related complex psychological and chemical processes which go on to make a homosexual man attracted to men. The evolutionary answer says why the heterosexual processes are more common than the homosexual ones, but it doesn’t shed any light at all on what those processes are. Which is, I think, what the OP was asking about.
It isn’t really about 'scat" arousing people, it’s about ANYTHING arousing people. We don’t really know for sure why any unusual fetishes exist. Obviously, there isn’t a gene for every fetish, not a specific area in the brain, which would seem to make it environmental. Yet, people who share the same fetish do not necessarily share any environmental condition with one another, bringing us back to the original question. You might find scat to be an incredibly gross one, but the same principle applies to balloons or stockings.
As for the difference between S&M and bondage, S&M stands for sadism and masochism. Someone into S&M either enjoys giving pain, receiving pain, or both. This can be achieved through a variety of methods, everything from whipping to electrotorture to cutting. Bondage refers to, put simply, restraint. It can be anything from tying your partner up for a little sex life spicing up (“light bondage”) to having your entire body encased in immobilizing wrap (obviously a more extreme form). Bondage refers to the RESTRAINT, while S&M refers to the enjoyment of giving/receiving PAIN. Both can exist completely independant of one another. S&M does not require the use of restraint, and bondage does not necessarily involve pain. They can intertwine, to varying degrees, but many bondage enthusiasts find S&M unarousing. The term BDSM (bondage/discipline/sadomasochism) generally refers to people engrossed in the entire scene with elements of both. Bondage is an excellent tool for engaging in S&M play, as it facilitates dominance/submission and the exchange of power, one of its key elements. Part of the thrill of full-blown S&M play is relinquishing almost (safewords exist for a reason) complete control to someone in a safe environment. People not into the scene might say “How do I know they won’t continue fucking me after I say “Denmark” to stop the scene?” To that I can only say that the S&M community places huge, huge emphasis on informed consent and safeword usage. Many reputable doms will refuse to play unless there is a safeword, and anybody who ignores a sub using it will likely be ostracized from the community. Those sorts of people are not sanctioned by the community and will not last long in it.
Look, there’s two different issues here:
- The questions about S&M and bondage and scat and such are related to Cecil’s Column, and this is the appropriate forum.
- The questions about why people are attracted sexually to A and not B is really not related to Cecil’s column.
So, I’m going to suggest (in my Official Position as Moderator) (that’s OPAM) that discussion here be limited to the S&M and bondage stuff.
sn3kers, if you’d like to ask your second question (about why people are attracted sexually to same sex, opposite sex, whatever), I suggest you post that in the forum called General Questions.
It’s no big deal, you’ll get used to our different forums as you’re here longer. And I can see how the one question would be sort of related to the other, and you’d combine them. I just think these are two very separate issues, and so are best handled separately. And welcome aboard! we’re glad to have you with us!
It’s a truly great board where one can see an official moderatorial pronouncement like that one.
Yeah, and you should see what’s going to happen to the first person who disobeys that instruction. Did you see that Official Moderator Cat-o-Nine?
If they threaten to lock this thread down, some of us are going to get aroused.
Just wanted to point out, since it hasn’t been mentionned, that Domination/ submission relationships don’t necessarily involve pain (SM) or restraint (Bondage).
That makes good sense to me. I’ts pretty obvious once you explained it.
Why didn’t I think of that? 