I realize this question has surely been posed before, and that nobody has had two different brains in their life, but are gay men attracted to men in much the same way that heterosexual women are attracted to men, and are lesbians attracted to women in much the same way that heterosexual men are attracted to women?
Mentally and emotionally, what are the main differences?
As to your OP, unless someone is familiar with research on the subject, all you’re going to get is opinion, which is what you are getting, so not sure what else you expect. But at least you posted your question in the right forum!
I don’t know. I do wonder if gay men view gay men the way heterosexual men view women. I assume men are more intimidated and obsessed with physical attractiveness over women. Women like it, but I don’t think they care on the same level that men do.
Anyway, I don’t know.
Also do lesbians look for status, resources and income when looking for a lesbian mate the way heterosexual women look for those things in a male (does a lesbian woman respond to a rich and famous woman the same way a heterosexual woman responds to a rich and famous man)? Do gay men look for youth in a fellow gay man the way heterosexuals men look for youth in women?
Again, this might be a cop out, but it depends on the person. I know lesbians who for all other aspects act like a typical girl, but just happen to be attracted to other girls. And I know plenty of lesbians who are way over the top in how manly they act. And everything in between.
People are individuals with individual tastes, but by and large men find women closer to menarche more attractive than women closer to menopause while women find men with fame, power, status and wealth more attractive than men who are nobodies. Generally those hold true, but do they hold true in gay attraction?
I feel like I’m repeating myself here. But in my experience, the ones who act “manly” act manly, therefore into attractive women and such. And the “girly” ones, guess what, act girly, attracted to wealth and what not. And everything in the middle in every mix you can imagine.
Speaking as one gay man, no. I don’t find fame, power, status or wealth particularly motivating or attractive (I have none of those things myself, except enough money to be comfortable). I confess to generally finding younger men more superficially attractive than older men, but that dissipates quickly when they open their mouths to speak. By which I mean that I seem to have little or nothing in common with most men who are more than 10 years younger than me, and so the prospect of a long-term relationship with one of them is not interesting.
eta: I dispute, in passing, your generalizations. In my admittedly limited experience, some people are like that but many are not. Regarding women, there is the storied appeal of the “bad boy” who has nothing but a hot body to recommend him. Probably equally as valid a stereotype as yours.
I am attracted to both men and women, but I have not had a relationship with a woman. Speaking solely of physical attraction, I do not feel any difference between sexes when I am observing someone I find appealing. I can’t say for sure what the emotional and mental aspects of being in a relationship with a woman would be like for me, but I am guessing that they wouldn’t be much different than with a man. Also, I don’t suppose I’ll ever find out.
I think in general gay men’s sexual attraction to other men is not quite the same as women’s attraction to men. Gay men are still men physiologically and brain chemical wise and seduction between gay men is (generally but not always) somewhat more aggressive and direct than the way a heterosexual man would typically approach a woman. However, these are simply tendencies you could have the exact opposite scenario or variations thereon in any given situation.
Gay guy here. Decades ago, when I was still trying to sort things out, I thought that I responded to men the same way a straight guy responded to women. But I was stereotyping those straight men, as well as myself. Since then, I’ve come to realize that we are as much individuals as anyone else. Sure, there are those who chase after younger men or drive flashy sports cars . . . but I’m attracted to people of any age, and I drive the car that fits my needs. It’s not a cop-out to say “everyone’s different.”