Some broad statements, which I think hold
[li]Most straight men are attracted to feminine women[/li][li]Most straight women are attracted to masculine men[/li][li]Very few straight men are attracted to butch women[/li][li]Very few straight women are attracted to feminine men[/li][/ul]
Having said that, what is a gay man mostly attracted to? A masculine man or a feminine man?
Also, is a lesbian attracted more to butch women or feminine women?
Of course, there are huge variations in human preferences, but I’m curious if there is an overall pattern.
I would think (based on no data whatsoever) that gay men are more attracted to masculine men, and lesbians are more attracted to feminine women.
So, based on your experience
[li]Is the above true? [/li][li]In the gay community do masculine or feminine men fair better at finding mates (i.e. which of the two types is more sought-after)? [/li][li]In the lesbian community do more butch or more feminine women fair better at finding mates (i.e. which of the two types is more sought-after)?[/li][/ul]
I think that when you’re gay or lesbian you end up redefining “masculine” and “feminine” in such a way that your question is unanswerable. As soon as you add a behavioral component, it all gets very fuzzy. My partner has many stereotypically feminine behaviors, but far more masculine ones, and I certainly consider him very masculine. The same could be said about me. Personally, I find the more androgynous men unappealing, but that’s more because they look young than because they look feminine. That same reason is probably why many other gay men find them appealing: we’ve grown up in a culture that worships and sexualizes youth.
No, iI don;t think the above is true. There’s as much variation within both communities, in terms of ‘feminine’ and ‘masculine’ characteristics. Sometimes two bears pair up and they could practically be twins, but even then, after you get to know them, you realize there’s still a yin and yang in effect when it comes to the subtleties o their relationship.
In my youth, I used to ask the somewhat tired question, ‘If lesbians like women so much, why do so many of them look like men?’ Then I realized they enjoy pussy. And that, save for drag kings, the lesbians who look like men are wearing comfortable shoes, clothes and have short, practical hair. It’s more about what they’re not doing (shaving, wearing push-up bras, wearing make-up, getting weaves, getting fake nails, etc.).
I’m not sure if either group has a subset that’s better at attracting mates. There’s a little something for everyone! Being conventionally attractive even by straight standards (young and somewhat thin and curvy for a woman, young and Ken doll-esque for a man) probably does help, overall, but pretty people are a dime a dozen.
This part, at least, is not true. A large proportion of women like feminine men, far more so than the proportion of gay men who like feminine men. For a quick-and-dirty example, here’s Amazon’s bestselling Japanese manga (comics) for girls, and here’s some manga aimed at gay men. The boys in manga for girls are pretty, whereas the guys in manga for gay men are testosterone-soaked slabs of muscle.
No, actually, not really. There’s very few josei (women’s) manga in English; here’s one of the best selling (the redhead is the love interest, not the little brother), and here’s a few of the smuttier ones. Still pretty.
ETA: This isn’t 100% universal; there are a few manga aimed at women with testosterone-soaked hunks of muscle as the love interest. They are rare, but they’re out there. Still, it’s about 95% biased to the pretty.
In my 45-year experience with gay men, I really don’t think it’s possible to generalize. We might have a slightly greater attraction to masculine men, but when it comes down to choosing a partner, I don’t think the issue matters at all. Even in the “leather” community, when you actually get to know them, it’s not as polarizing as you’d expect.
When I dated women (and even now, when I look at a woman), I found the more feminine ones more attractive. I’m not super butch (no mullet and flannel), but I’m not a girlie girl. I built houses and played football. Then again, I am bisexual, and my sexuality runs the gamut. I like manly men, nerdy men, pretty ladies, tomboys, big “bear” men, and so on and so on. There aren’t a whole lot of “types” that I don’t at least find something attractive about them.
I think you should make a poll. I think you’ll find your broad statements about straight people do not hold true. Amongst gay people I’d expect to find even more diversity of interest then that of the straights.