i feel so empty and sad im kinda fat and it makes me cry i wanna lose wait but im too lazy, i think of running away everyday i need help
I’ve moved your post to “mundane pointless things i must share”, which is a better place for it.
And welcome to the community, i hope you find some support here.
(edited to fix some typos)
okithx
People come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and that is fine. Are you being harassed about your weight?
I’m not sure what to suggest here – others would be better informed than I am I’m sure – but is there anyone where you are who you can talk to who will be supportive? If you did leave where you are, do you have a place to go?
(Note re puzzlegal’s move: despite the name of the forum, they’re not saying that your post is mundane or pointless. People post all sorts of things here, some of them very serious.)
yes my friends and family say im fat and no i have no were to go.
There’s always somewhere you can go, but it can sometimes be tricky finding out where.
If you’re in school, there may be a counseling office (or a referral service). Try asking a faculty or staff member you trust.
thanks that helps :3
There is a whole lot of misinformation out there about weights, and your family and friends may have bought in to the misinformation. Please try not to listen to anyone saying that the problem is your weight – I know that’s very hard. Try to eat mostly healthy food if that’s possible, and try to do active things some of the time if that’s possible, but also try to find people you can talk and hang out with who won’t go on about weight. And note that there isn’t one healthy way of eating that works for everybody; there are a lot of different patterns of eating that can be healthy and you need to figure out what works for you, which can take some time, possibly years.
Sometimes a family doctor can help; but some doctors are also terrible on this issue.
Fat shaming is a form of bullying. It’s the bullies who are wrong, not you.
awww well thx that was very sweat and helpful.
For what it is worth and especially if you’re still young just a small increase in activity and diet can really make a big difference towards slowly losing weight.
I’m lazy about gym type exercise, so instead I walk, I walk a lot. If there is any activity you don’t dislike, try and do more of it. Rowing, walking, biking, skating, hula-hoop, yoga, etc. just move, more.
The other big thing is working hard at stopping eating when I’m full and trying to go with healthier snack choices.
My weight is an issue and has been most of my adult life. Since last March though I’ve slowly and surely dropped pounds. I’m down around 50. It makes me feel better, my knees & back work better and cholesterol is way down.
I’m going to try and take up some biking again come spring. I’ll see how that works out.
Did you maybe mean “If there is any activity you don’t dislike…”?
Yes, thank you. I fixed it.
oki noted
Putting aside the weight thing, for being sad and empty, I recommend reading, specifically reading fiction books.
Reading a good fiction book can pull you into other worlds and put you into the shoes of the characters, including their emotional shoes. This can help you escape the feeling of emptiness, at least while you’re reading. Movies and computer games do not work for this.
Unfortunately I cannot give you recommendations, because all the best books I know went out of print decades ago. But surely there are some good books still out there today.
I strongly recommend the podcast Maintenance Phase for a research-backed contrarian view. They debunk a lot of “common knowledge” about obesity and health, but aren’t what I’d call anti-dieting.
The most important issue for all of us is being healthy at any size, mentally and physically. If you can find a therapist who specializes in body image issues, I recommend it.
And I definitely disagree with talking to your physician about your weight. I’ve heard too many horror stories about doctors reflexively blaming everything on being overweight, and women later discovering serious unrelated health issues, including cancer.
OP: you can run from your situation, but you can’t run from yourself. Step 1 is to get right with the guy/gal in the mirror.
This is a blog post that meant something to me. Maybe it will to you.
Start small. Have the discipline to skip some food. Or to bend over and touch your knees just 3 times after getting up in the morning. Discipline is a habit and it can grow if you nurture it.
I bet you’ll surprise yourself in a good way. You have the rest of your life to work at this. Get started small enough to garner some early wins. But get started.
If you find an activity you like and engage in it, and eat a healthy diet, you may indeed lose weight.
Or you may not. You’ll probably be adding muscle, and some people who add muscle gain weight. They’re nevertheless feeling better, becoming healthier, and to a significant percentage of the population becoming more attractive.
Don’t concentrate on the weight. Concentrate on eating well (which includes eating things you like), doing things you like, and doing things which make you feel better. The weight may follow, or you may discover that it doesn’t need to.
Terry Pratchett!
Actually I could think of lots of others. And I bet those old ones are still out there – some good stuff stays in or comes back into print, and some of it’s hanging around in brick-and-mortar libraries.
I agree that really does need to be approached with caution, because there are a lot of doctors who have swallowed the weight loss industry hook line and sinker (and you’ll definitely be sunk if you do); but I have run into occasional doctors who are sensible on the issue.
It’s not really about discipline.
And we shouldn’t all assume here that Ratboi even is overweight. Many people have seriously mistaken ideas about what’s normal weight. But even if they are: getting right with the person in the mirror may mean getting right with being outside of that range.
See, I would definitely not recommend Pratchett for this. He might be a good author (though I would disagree with that - I’ve read the first seventeen Discworld books and only three or four of them were good), but even if you like them, you have to admit that the point of those books is not to suck you in and make you feel the emotions of the characters. Some of the books do do this, but it seems almost accidental; the overt point of the books is clearly to be clever and funny. Even the structure of the narrative is often suborned to the joke. And while that may or may not be to your taste, it’s not what I think would be really helpful for a person who feels hollow and empty.
We seem to have had an entirely different reaction to Pratchett. To me it reads that he’s using the humor to pull you into the characters, and also to make you think.
He’s furious about the harm done to individual people. Instead of writing in a tone of fury, Pratchett turns that anger into humor – but it’s humor that attacks prejudice and human societal flaws without attacking the people. And individual people very much matter in his books. Hell, he can make you respect Dangerous Beans.
It’s quite true, however, that different people will find help and comfort in different books.
Well, maybe he gets better in later books. That’s why I bought twenty of them - I didn’t want to reject the series preemptively due to early-installment weirdness. Got to give things a fair shot, you know. Maybe the remaining three will be wonderful!
But in any case this isn’t Cafe Society, so I think this is the last I’ll say on this subject.