Saddam poetry contest

So apparently Saddam has written a few books to go with his tacky taste in indoor decoration, mostly in the juvenile fantasy genera I hear. You can even buy one at Amazon:

Not the first ruthless dictator to write books either; Hitler wrote Mein Kampf, Caesar The Gallic War, Nero and Tiberitus dabbled I think – though nothing survives today. Anyone else?

Considering their track record in giving away Nobel prices to mass murdering terrorists (Arafat) and ridiculous never heard of authors perhaps Saddam has a shot at next years Nobel price? Anyway, here for the august Saddam poetry contest:

**Saddam poetry: **
“I killed so many
And yet so few
I blame my plight
On the Jews.

Rotting corpses
Blood on the floor
And yet some of my victims
The U.S. abhor.

“No WMD’s!”
My allies cheer
Traitors in the bosom
Of Freedom appear.

Just as they have
So many times before,
Dupes fail to discern
Between true tyranny
And Democracy at war.”

Saddam haiku:
“Once head of Iraq.
Now nothing. I wish that I
could vote for Kerry.”

Saddam limericks
“There once was a man from Tikrit
Whose spider hole measured five feet
He hated the Jews
and Americans too
But their muffins sure were a treat!”

Roses are Red
And they smell very good
I will rule again
and when I do the Godless infidel devil dog George Bush will rot in the eternal hellfires of damnation and his rotting corpse will be infected by a million maggots on dipslay for the world to see the grotesque figure who’s evilness was undone thanks to the honor which is Allah

Really loses something in the translation, doesn’t it?

“Here I sit,
Broken hearted,
For defense,
I’d like Johnny Cochran.”

The dictator of Libya, Mallomar Quidditch (or however the hell you spell his name) wrote a book called Escape to Hell and Other Stories. Here’s an excerpt. Having read it, I say, “To hell with weapons of mass destruction, we gotta invade Libya before this guy writes again!”

Prison TV plays
Only reality shows.
The hole was better.

Uday, Qusay,
Where they, you say?
Away? Afraid?
Nay, slayed.

Alone in my gloomy cell
I look back on my life story
Would it help any at all
If I said I was real sorry?

Two Hussein sons lived in Tikrit
Where both were sexually indiscrete
Saddam said with a grin
"Though they were kin,
If they found my corpse they would f*** it.

Burma Shave.