Please, get your slurs right ! You KNOW that we are poutine-eating, 50-drinking, chain-smoking, sex maniacs !
Monstrealers ??? Since we are in the Grey Cup against Edmonotone 
, I’ll let it pass… this time !
The set-up is “What do you call a Canadian sex maniac?”
So far, the punch line escapes me.
A couple that forgoes the doggy-style position while having sex during Hockey Night on CBC?
Lame fucking OP, by the way. I’d pay good money to see you FC say that shit in any tavern west of Toronto. You’d have your ass handed to you before you knew it. What a complete and utter shitbag you and everyone cheering you on are. Though, I’ll give you this much. You make American Klansmen seem left-wing pacifists compared to your ignorant, hateful, racist vitriol and bile. So you have that going for you. Quite the accomplishment.
Ya know what FC - why don’t you bend over, stick your head between your legs and play with your asshole for a while. You’re an idiot.
You’re nothing like Pol Pot - he was much, much smarter. Asshole.
Oh, and BTW - politically we’re on the same side of the fence - I just think you’re a cock-sprocket.
DISCLAIMER
TO THE GORMLESS: THIS POST EMPLOYS SATIRE, WHICH USES EXAGGERATION AND NAME-CALLING FOR EFFECT. Generally, SATIRE doesn’t require BLOCK CAPITALS. But in this case, an exception must be made. No, I DON’T REALLY THINK anyone is a simpleton, a cum blob, a turnip, lobotomized, a fucked-up cretinous nincompoop or a member of the Alberta Taliban or anything else condemnatory you may run across that is not listed in this disclaimer.
END DISCLAIMER
To those who righteously wrap yourselves in pure white light as you point and condemn while being incapable of getting a clue and understanding anything beyond the level of creationist literalism: I’m dumbing down this post in an attempt to have it collide with the neuron you all share as it hitch-hikes it’s way from tiny brain to tiny brain. To that end, and with emphasis in caps to escape further charges by those who can’t grok anything not in block capitals and whose education began and ended with Dick and Jane:
This saga started when I replied to the OVER-THE-TOP HYPERBOLE by the other thread’s OP, kingpengvin, who said of yet another boring election no one wants, including the Tories, that it heralds “A fundamental change in the nature of Canada once the smoke clears.”
This is pure nonsense, and for the synaptically challenged, fucking nonsense.
Then kingpengvin said: “Hang on to your hats kiddies it may be a scary ride.”
This is pure nonsense, and for those whose brain rentals ran out, fucking nonsense.
Then kingpengvin said: “Will this be the final match to light the separtist fuel? And if so will the west follow?” These questions and the notion that led to them are pure nonsense, and for those whose heads are still up their asses, the questions and the notion that led to them are fucking nonsense.
So I employed SATIRE — I say again — SATIRE!!!, playing upon stereotypes. Look it up, you stupid fucks who evidently need a row of exclamation points to draw your attention. Have you really not been educated beyond third grade? Are you really so thick the concept is beyond you? Do you really think a Focus is the best car buy because Ford says so in TV ads? Can you really not pee without your mommies holding your dinkies?
BrainGlutton, Cowgirl and alice_in_wonderland know the OP is nonsense and my reply satirical. What the fuck’s wrong with the rest of you who don’t see this, can’t see this or refuse to see this?
BrainGlutton:
Good question. The answer, of course, it can’t, and it won’t.
Cowgirl:
Cowgirl understood immediately. No so you morons.
alice_in_wonderland: "
alice_in_wonderland has the OP pegged. No so the moron gallery.
So you turnips off the vegetable truck really believe I think the Tories are the Alberta Taliban, not like the Taliban — a FUCKING SIMILE when “like” is used, a FUCKING METAPHOR without the “like” — an exaggeration to make a point — but the Taliban. You believe this, though unlike kingpengvin in that idiotic post, I write in complete sentences, spell correctly, use proper grammar and know that the premier of Quebec is not Cherez. You believe this despite my link in that thread to another about stereotypes, where my post about B.C., Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Ontario, Quebec and all points further east make the list, the link being included to disabuse any brick-thick minds of any lingering doubt that my rant about the Tories and Alberta is, once again, METAPHOR! SATIRE! EXAGGERATION! ONE-DIMENSIONAL CHARACTERIZATION TO MAKE A POINT! But clicking on a link that reads STEREOTYPES means nothing to you slack-jawed drool-drippers because the word has more than four letters. It’s too hard to read or even sound out. Worse, you still believe this despite my linked reference about Jonathan Swift and his writings on the Irish eating their babies, probably the best-known example of satire (SATIRE) in the English-speaking world and one that regularly must be trotted out for the super thick as I am doing now — again —for you morons who would have formed a mob to burn Swift at the stake.
Then the OP, kingpengvin, came back with this now-habitual hyperbole typed with a hammer, accusing me of not only smearing Stockwell Day, who, as it is universally known is impossible to smear, but Alberta because Day is from that province and represents a constituency there. Further, kingpengvin had this to say:
If this clueless clown is older than 12, he must have been blotto. Maybe he’s both. In any case, I was not going to let this inanity go unanswered.
Warning: For you cum blobs in the condom of irrationality, what follows is SATIRE SATIRE SATIRE SATIRE!!! on the Conservative party.
Yes. OBVIOUSLY! The Conservative party was created to strip the rights of individuals**,** trash the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms and (no “and” or no “then” needed; either, alone, is enough) impose a theocracy**,**.
END SATIRE SATIRE SATIRE SATIRE on the Conservative party.
My post, kingpengvin, was anything but empty-headed (you, however, are well-versed regarding this phenomenon) rhetoric (another word, like Charest, you would do well to look up). By the way, a question is followed by a question mark; it’s the little upside-down hook-looking thing with a dot beneath it, and can easily be spotted when you’re not stoned. It can be typed by finding it on that thing in front of you that some members of the Straight Dope call “the keyboard,” then by holding down either of the two shift keys (don’t let the complication of having to make a choice stop you) and whacking the upside-down hook with a blunt instrument — your head or a hammer.
Then came Part 2, the pit post, where I pulled out more stops because I realized I was dealing with the radically lobotomized. But alas came posts such as this one:
by Priceguy, who then goes on to say he didn’t read the original post. It is to weep.
And this post by Rune:
This reply uses all the exaggeration I did. But Rune uses it to condemn me for using exaggeration, then says:
I’d consider it, but Irony School just got a wholesale deal on Dopers, enough to pay the rent for 10 years — and you’re taking the remedial class — so there’s no more room.
El Kabong got it with no problem:
Gorsnak:
You need more clue-gaining help than can be had on Earth, but kingpengvin, though proving he can write when sober, needs more help than can be had in the universe:
That’s foresight. I take the sober remark back.
The misplaced anger by the chattering classes continues, this one by hawthorne:
[QUOTE]
You presumably posted this Pit thread so you could post that screed in your OP. But it’s not a victimless wank: I read a whole thread about Canadian politics.**My reply after a willful misreading: (SATIRE!!!)That’s really good, hawthorne. Soon you’ll be able to read an entire book!
This, by Sam Stone:
You’re outraged, but I’m shocked, shocked! at your remarks. You didn’t mean it literally that I would vote for Pol Pot? WHAT???
Oh, and kingpengvin:
You might find this interesting. But perhaps not.
alice_in_wonderland:
And here I thought you had a modicum of intelligence. Tsk tsk.
Have a care, Mikemike2:
Now that we’ve covered Satire for Special Students, we can more on to irony. This thread about covers it.
You win.*
*Now there’s your fucking SATIRE!!! Douchebag.
Your posts are stupid FC.
You froth on like a bigoted asshole, and then are surprised when people react negitively.
Gosh - why don’t I call Toronto and everyone from there a bunch of self-rightous assholes, with shit for brains and then act surprised when a few of them get offended.
You’re still an idiot. I still don’t give a shit about the election, and I still know that neither Alberta no Quebec is going to seperate from Canada.
It doesn’t change the fact that you’re a dumbass.
And of course, since you want to waste time pointing out the “Forgotten E” in foresight, care to explain the whole “No so…” wording? I was thinking you meant “not so…” but I’m too busy planning my next foray into the wilderness to hunt down the gay black Jew women in our midst to figure it out… There may be a new way of speaking that you elites have formed. People like you seem to change tack every couple weeks or so when you get punked yet again on your vocal vomit. Oh, wait. Didn’t quite take that long this time, what with the backpeddling that would make a street performer envious.
Well . . . kinda. Canada’s a suburb of the US, so it has like *suburban *politics. But those school board campaigns can be pretty cut-throat.
Let me get this straight. Sam Stone’s reference to Pol Pot was obvious hyperbole. So he was being Pitted for… well, what, exactly?
Are we now at the point where you get pitted just for disagreeing with someone’s politics? Sure looks like it. The OP can backpedal and bullshit all he wants, but most of the criticism in the OP is directed against Sam’s rather commonplace, non-radical politics.
What a stupid OP. Satirical? Maybe. Stupid? Definitely.
Foaming Cleanser, this board thrives on high end satire, word play, mental exercises of hyperbole, and good old ignorance fighting.
You just can’t write or express coherent ideas to save your life. Most of us are smart enough to follow brilliance when its there. We checked and its not with you.
You are not a smart man. Growing up means realizing those limitations and this should be a sobering moment.
There is no shame in that. You just need to find a new hobby for everyone’s sake.
Best wishes,
We will all remember you in a very special way
Satire is it?
Strange use of the word.
In fact, it reminds me of my father and his use of the word joke when he would make his comments on Blacks and Jews. Oh sure, a few of his buddies thought him hysterical, but it didn’t change the fact that the man was an ignorant bigot no more than your use of the word Satire changes the nature of the sewage you posted.
You may not be aware of this, but satire requires both intellegence and wit, qualities, my friend, which you were unable to show in the bile you wrote. In fact running back and not even owning the comments you made is pure cowardice. There is not much sadder than when a child is caught and tries to avoid critisism with “it was only a joke”
By the way, I do apologize if my typos and punctuation errors have distracted you from the meaning of my posts but I will try harder so as not to confuse you. What I was saying is that your are an idiot and a fool. Your pitting of Sam is pathetic to say the least. You vomit out a pointless insulting attack on Westerners in the GD thread about the election and the second any one drops one-inch of hyperbole your way you pit them.
So, simply put, (and please don’t misinterpret my meaning here) Fuck you.
I may have overstated the case, and I’m not afraid to admit that, however that does not excuse you from opening that shit filled skull of yours and emptying the worthless contents on the forum without challenge.
Finally a last word regarding your use of Swift and his “Modest Proposal”. It is always pathetic to see someone write dreck and the try to use a well-known piece of work as its defense.
I have read Swift Sir, and I have to say that you are not swift.
You could just quote Arrogant Worms:
Entire lyrics here
I believe you have misunderstood. I wasn’t laughing with you, I was laughing at you.
Foaming Cleanser is right about this, at least.
Foaming Cleanser eats stupid food for breakfast.
Well, you have to give the OP this much credit: he certainly is foaming.
I thought the OP’s rant was well written and sharp, but didn’t work as a Pitting due to Sam Stone’s general lack of resemblance to the topic of the Pitting. I think the OP writer shows promise, but should work on focussing his rant topics a little more.
And bondage for everybody!
You’re nothing if not consistant! 
Haven’t you beaten that horse enough? :dubious: