An incursion of melting from the Eastern Siberian Sea has brought open water within 300 miles of the North Pole, threatening to submerge Santa’s workshop.
(I hope that works. Click on the image when you get there to see the ice dance.)
Of course, it’s just another setback for the jolly old elf. A number of his reindeer were just killed by lightning, threatening his distribution network. Furthermore, his magic system of centering the workshop on the ever drifting ice is on the fritz, which means a bunch of shivering elves holding a GPS device have to manually shove it into position every few hours.
No, I’m sorry to be the one to break it to you, but your parents were just protecting you from the harshness of adult life. I remember when I first learned that Santa doesn’t have pontoons. I think I cried for days.
Sounds like Christmas Dinner will be Surf & Turf this year…!
You know Lobster and Grouper, Calamari and Nemo,
you know Yellow-Fin and Salmon and friends from far below…
But do you recall
The one helps them taste best of all…?
Butter, the liquid stain-gear
Had a very yellow nose!
And drawn, with his friends dunked in it
You would even say, “It Goes…!”
Depends on which fortress you mean. The *REAL *Fortress of Solitude, from when I was a kid, was built into the side of an actual mountain on a land mass, so there would be nothing to worry about. I’m not sure what that crystal thingy that they introduced in the 1978 Superman movie is made of, so I can’t comment on whether it will be affected by melting ice.
