I see a Santa with a different colored suit. Navy or dark green, and no animal fur.
For visits to warmer climes, of course, he should appear at department stores with the cap and coat draped over a chair, sleeves rolled up.
And gelled hair.
I suspect a more androgenous and more ethnic look since some people might get offended that Santa is always a white man. The beard needs to go since that suggests that Santa should always be a man. More mixed-race Santa’s should be hired. The racial ambiguity in a mixed race person will allow people of all races to feel included while not threatening folks who feel that St. Nick needs to be white.
The red suit is gone. Red is too aggressive a color given the level of violence in society. Sends the wrong message to kids. It will end up being more of a mauve-taupe look. Still a hint of color for Chistmas, but far more metrosexual. Replace it with fewer trimmings and you can probably have an easy conversion to a tasteful pant suit in the event of a female Santa.
Reindeer are out (too many ethical concerns), to be replaced by a bio-diesel powered sled.
I’m guessing a more techno santa. Red/White tux (with maybe some LEDs) with a laptop. Using his wifi connection to pull up children’s profiles to see if they are naughty or nice. I’m surprised there isn’t some kind of hip hop santa rapping about keeping things real and staying out of trouble.
The next change is his sleigh will be pulled by the Coke Polar Bears. Santa will wear earings and nose piercings, and look like the Illistrated Man (Scifi Title). I like the sixties stuff where he arrived in parades on a Buck Rogers type rocket.
Obviously, with the sea ice at the north pole soon to be gone during the summer, Santa will have to shift all operations to China (which is already on the label of all the gifts anyway).
Instead of letters to the north pole, requests will be made via email to a customer service center in Bangalore.
Santa will be a robot with his standards set too high and loads of weaponry, including a bicycle gun.
I’d say the chimney part of the Santa myth will probably die out next for the obvious reason that not many houses have chimneys any more.
I agree that chimneys are on their way out, but what I most noticed this year shopping for mall Santas is that they’re a slimmer lot this year. The huge bowl full of jelly bellies are gone, replaced with minimal token stuffing.
He’s going to become a balding Chinese man who rewards children who follow the Eight Honors, and makes naughty children disappear.
Naah, it’ll be Disney Santa.
Seriously, look at any cartoon (even modern ones with no historic story behind them), and there are always “new drawings” which are simple and baby-like, and “old drawings” which are more detailed, and kids don’t like them as much. Cite Warner Brod cartoons and even The Simpsons early stuff. Now take Winnie the Pooh. Most people recognise the Disney one over the A.A. Milne one.
I reckon, if a big corporation can’t trademark Santa, they can still flood the market, or trademark a slight variant. Santa will remain a white guy, he will still wear red, but he will get a bigger head, a longer beard, a fatter belly, and a standard design.
Permission denied to see that pic (thank heaven!)
Robot Santa by Dean Koontz.
Santa will be whatever Hallmark decides it will be.
M to F?
Santa…FOR THE HORDE!!!
Being somewhat out of the santa-loop, as it were, I’m wondering; what -is- the standard story these days for folks without chimneys? Santa just breaks in through a window? Front door?
(mini-rant: Because it’s more important for the kids to think it’s a mythological entity that loves them and gives them gifts instead of, I dunno, their parents / guardians…)
According to my kid when he was younger, Santa also possesses a magic key that only the children know about. It’s a secret from the adults, because if they knew about it, they might arrest Santa by mistake (but he told me about it because he knows I won’t arrest Santa). This key lets him open any front door to get in if there’s no chimney. The reindeer, being traditionalists, get nervous when he uses a door, but they’ll calm down if you leave them some reindeer food in the front yard. Reindeer food looks an awful lot like granola, if you were wondering.
(As for part the second, in our house Santa leaves stuff AND you get presents from your folks. Are there really people who don’t give their kids anything from themselves? “Santa” is a good way to excuse a really extravagant gift or other gift you’d otherwise said no to and reconsidered, without diluting the strength of your parental “no”. Even at 13, my son may receive some video games from Santa this year, even though Grinchy Mom is on the record as being against them. It’s all a big wink-wink, but it gets smiles all 'round.)
Transporter.
In the sixties my parents told me they left the door unlocked. I wouldn’t allow them to get away with Santa going down a 6 inch flue into our oil furnace.