. . . he stops by your place to leave you your Christmas presents. What did you leave out for him?
Pizza and beer.
Stockings and suspenders.
A Krispy Kreme donut and an ice cold glass of chocolate milk.
Peanut Butter Fudge, a bowl of roasted Cinnamon Almonds and Hot Buttered Rum.
Celery, carots, crackers and dip. And a glass of red wine. Mum and Dad said Santa liked that sort of thing.
Cheese.
N’yuk, n’yuk, n’yuk.
Russian Teacakes, thumbprint cookies, and a Diet Coke.
The reindeer get green peppers and celery.
Santa’s not off to a bad start. The pizza and beer went down nicely, and as it’s chilly tonight, the stockings were great. He’ll save the suspenders for later in the night. Dessert at recer’s house was perfect, Santa loves Krispy Kreme. He wolfs down the Peanut Butter fudge, but thinks twice about the rum. Upon further reflection, he decides he’s got enough food in his belly and drinks half.
The wine was nice, if a little dry. Santa skips his veggies and brings them to the reindeer, where a melee immediately ensues over who gets the leftover carrot. Santa settles it by eating it himself. He happily takes himself to the next house, where he gobbles up Russian teacakes and thumbprint cookies, but ignores the Diet Coke. Who are these people to tell him he’s porky? He leaves behind coal, but will later insist it was a MissTake.
Hey!
Now, after gorging on gazillions of proffered sweets, filled with butter, sugar, chocolate, etc etc, one would think Santa would want a Diet beverage! Geesh, I’m just trying to help the man keep his svelte figure.
Santa gives me a lump coal, HE’ll be singing soprano for many moons!