Save the life of a movie character who didn't deserve to die the way they did.

Fiscal year 2012 was good for Rhymer Enterprises. Thanks to the Civil War Fomenting Division, our weapons sales have been through the roof; additionally the Drought Team’s tireless efforts have made us several largish fortunes through means that would infuriate you if I went into detail. I won’t even mention the Hexing division’s work; it would ruin the Olympics for everybody.

The point is that our coffers are flush with cash and I am feeling generous. Consequently I have directed the Operations department to allow all Dopers in good standing access to the Burroughs-Libby continua portal, set to allow travel only to cinematic universes. Anyone who wants to will be allowed to enter any movie they wish and prevent the death of one and only character who died in the story. You’ll receive whatever support you need – weapons, medicine, a platoon of Marines, etc – to accomplish your task. But you can only intervene to directly save that one character, and you have control of the story after your one save.

What movie and character do you pick? What do you need to accomplish your task?

I could list a bunch from Marvel comic book movies, but as like as not they’ll turn out to be “not really dead” next movie.

Red October. The second in command that wanted to travel the US in a “recreational vehicle”. That guy didn’t need to die. It was like somebody said “hey, we must have one little part of this movie that reminds us life sucks, even if it does nothing for the plot”.


And it should be cheap. All he has to do is be standing 1 foot to the left.

Bastards again.

Is a novel/mini-series allowed? Good. Then I’d like to march into Lonesome Dove and save me some Gus McCrae.

I’m going to need to hear a plan. I’m not sending you into the Doveverse to wander around aimlessly on my dime.

That dude in The Green Mile who got electrocuted without the sponge being wet on his head…

I just need to be the voice in Tom Hanks’ head to get his ass moving quicker.


Joss Whedon is evil.


The warrior woman in the Road Warrior (aka Mad Max 2). Give her a little more protection up top of the big rig and poorer aiming by the bad guys. Maybe some better body armor. Such a waste of a beautiful fierce woman.

Cavalry ex machina? Kidnapping band of sportin’ gals? Knockout drops in his sipping whiskey? Horse theft?

Aw dangit - why couldn’t you have been flush last year? Then I could have said Wash with a clear conscience.

But now there’s Agent Coulson. Damnit, poor Phil. He didn’t even get to have his Captain America cards signed.

Bugger all. I’m going for Agen Coulson, and someone else will save Wash.

You don’t appear to know how this “make a plan” thing works.

It WAS flush last year. We reinvested the profits into the Accelerate Global Warming thingie.

You got this in just before I could write my post telling Skald to expect a flood of Browncoats.

Ok, nobody’s really answering Skald’s question in full, so I’ll give it a shot at one that ripped my heart out when I was a kid:

Artax, Atreyu’s horse from The Never Ending Story. All I need is a winch.

Actually, if you’ll let me keep the winch for one more trip, I’ll bring it to Middle Earth and put a loop around Gollum to stop his fall into the fires of Mount Doom. He probably could have recovered with the ring gone, he was no more evil at heart than Frodo, until the ring corrupted him.

Ok, how about one more? If you lend me some of Rhymer Enterprises’s technicians, I’ll go patch up the T-800 in Terminator 2. It’s noble that he would destroy himself to stop the future war from happening, but he’d be more use protecting John and Sarah. His technology won’t fall into the wrong hands if he’s still operational and battle-ready.

Shit, that was mine. What are the chances? I would have Wilson not only be saved but also sent back to the factory for a full reconditioning. He would end up with beach-side seats at the women’s beach volleyball Olympic matches.

One of Romeo’s friends finds the letter explaining Juliet’s plan, and rushes in at the last minute to stop Romeo from drinking the poison. Juliet’s plan is never derailed, she gets out alive, and the families still think they’ve taken a horrible loss for their feud.

I wish Tara not killed. With or without Dark Willow.

I’m saving Newt from Aliens 3. She’s the very definition of “didn’t deserve to die the way they did”.

I’d save both her and Hicks but if I only get one choice I suppose it should be the little girl.

We’re at 17 posts and no one has saved Dobby yet??? If ever there was a character who did not deserve to die…and did not deserve to die the way he did (they were getting away! Rowling just wanted to prove she was serious!)

Dobby then.

My plan? I shove Bellatrix and then disapparate to the shop of magical ice cream that you can eat all day and never get fat.

(I know he was a book character but he was a movie character too, therefore he can be saved)

Billy Bud got screwed too.