Went to see “The Immortals” in 3D this weekend. I liked it. My wife did not particularly care for it. My son disliked it so much that he never wants to see another movie again (he wants his two hours back).
SPOILERS!
I liked it as a spectacularly powerful movie visually. The 3D was nicely handled, the CGI was amazing. The plot and some other elements, well, they just did not bear thinking about, so it’s good I just went with the flow until after the movie.
OK, they got ONE shot of a woman’s nicely rounded butt in 3D, and they blurred it out! Heartless bastids!
Is Tarseem Singh gay? This is the second movie from him that’s all muscular guys running around half naked with little or no female nudity. I understand in the old days censors might have concentrated on female nudity so the peplum filmmmakers just left the guys to run around in leather diapers while the female leads wore baggy tunics, but nowadays, you just gotta wonder. Nothing WRONG with Singh being gay, just thinking the focus on nakedish guys is a little … unrelenting. I mean, if I did a sword and sandal movie there would be a LOT of naked slavegirls strutting their stuff, germane to the story or not. And that would be because I LIKE such imagery, not because it’s historically accurate, because who cares about historical accuracy? Which brings me to:
Zeus cares about free will? Since WHEN??? First I’d heard of it!
and
The Titans? Retarded looking smurf goblins of average size? The freaking TITANS that damn near beat the gods back in the day? What the HELL was Singh thinking?
and finally:
was Theseus NECESSARY in any way, shape or form to the story? Wouldn’t the outcome have been pretty much EXACTLY the same if Hyperion got the bow without incident, unleashed the Titans, and the Gods came down and did their thing?
And finally: Handrails. Look into it! If you are gonna build a city into a cliff with long winding cliffside stairs, build some fucking handrails.
Well, I was immediately surprised at the completely PlaystationGore employed for the combat sequences. Total video game crud.
I was NOT impressed with the “graphic” of the film’s graphic violence at all. Umm, I understand that we humans are quite moist and juicy on the inside, but I really take cinematic issue with bodies that literally erupt with blood, and heads that explode into cascades of crimson liquid like water-balloons over-filled with less-than-solid gelatin.
I, too, was completely let down by the “Titans”. “Oh, we will just bury them under the mountain!” Well why the hell weren’t they just buried under the mountain to begin with?
Some of the landscape visuals were quite stunning, admittedly, but as a whole, nothing I can’t get from a blu-ray on 1080p.
The only thing immortal about the movie is the degree to which it sucks :mad: I HATED this thing, utter loathing permeated every second of this travesty
Why did hate and loathe it though? I’ll admit it has it flaws, but it had none that deeply offended me, certainly not enough to pull me out of the story, which did kinda flow right along. My son loathed the experience, but so far as I know, his major objection was wasting so many hours on a fine afternoon on it. Can’t say I blame him.
It’s essentially “God of War : The Movie” for people who think Kratos doesn’t kill people creatively enough, or with enough gore. Eventually it became tiresome.
It also does great violence to the myths, as you pointed out. Neither the Titans nor the Olympians are like the mythological versions. Theseus gets relegated to some peasant boy. I thought the minotaur was creatively done, but the ‘labyrinth’ was ridiculous for the tiny village. The story actually showed some promise by trying to set up Hyperion* vs. Theseus, but as mentioned Theseus was irrelevant, and ultimately so was this plot thread.
*Hyperion is not a Titan here either, as far as I can tell - he says he came up from the lower classes.
What’s the other film Tarsem directed with half-naked men? I don’t recall The Cell being filled with man-flesh, but I’ve only seen parts on TV. I thought it showed Lopez off quite a bit (skin-tight, if not revealing).
The one thing I did wonder is whether his right eye is properly functioning. Nearly every shot that could have been framed on the left or right gets framed on the left. Though those were often framed quite stunningly.
I thought 300, but I see he was not involved. It was the producers of 300 who were involved in both films. And of course Immortals got compared to 300 a lot. So, oops, my bad. Thanks for catching that.
i went to see this movie with zero expectations, hadn’t heard of it at all. i thought it was great! Although Hyperion did not seem badass enough to lead such an army, and Theseus seemed to be lacking in the charisma dept, I sure did like seeing freida pinto(or her double’s) bare butt, it was not blurred one bit in 1D…
question: was it thor whom zeus killed for helping the humans? seemed to be, what with the hammer and all, or am i confusing the gods…
Well given that Thor is a Norse god not a Greek god, we can rule him out. And given that Zeus was the one who did the killing, we can rule HIM out. Near as I can tell, it was Apollo that got fried.
My BF and I both hated it, but to be fair, we both fell asleep a little more than halfway through.
I kept seeing really large plot holes and he teaches martial arts, so I don’t think he was terribly impressed with any of the fighting (which is why he likes that kind of movie). For one plot hole that springs to mind, what was the point of involving the humans at all? Once the gods/goddesses got involved, the humans were unnecessary. It took everything I ever understood about Greek & Roman mythology and just chucked it under a bus.
I went with a group of friends Sunday night, my vote for was for Hugo, but I wasnt really opposed to immortals - I had low expectations.
I have to say it was better than expected, despite a complete nonsense approach to the actual mythology. The violence was just stupidly over the top and was just annoying. I thought the story and narrative was actually pretty good. Unlike the OP the cgi did not do it for me the characters never felt like they were anywhere real. I do not have anything against CGI, I think special effects have improved greatly because of it, but perhaps because of the 3D implementation, I never found the sets believable.
And please, please, please, can we finally get away from the sepia toned visuals. It is almost 2012, it is just a cheap photshop effect like lensflare - just give me normal colour. Please.
It seemed to me that the village carved into the side of the cliff was probably the most secure place in the entire world. There was one narrow walkway in and out of the place. A single man could hold off Hyperion’s entire army indefinitely.
Oh, and helpful tip: when someone is running into a trap that you recognize as a trap, don’t chase after him into the trap! And if you are going to do that, maybe you should leave the magical bow behind, or at least, like, I don’t know, try hold on to it maybe?
