Say, did you cut your fucking hair?

What is it with couples going out of their way to make each other miserable anyway? Maybe this is why they say “All’s fair in love and war.” Fuck that. Your SO is not your enemy, save the ambushes and counterstrikes for your coworker or something.

I must say actually that in REAL life, the kabbess generally requires about 3 months of saying “I must get my hair cut” before finally I crack and make the appointment for her. As such it’s hard for me to forget that it is being done. Not to mention pretty radically different.

What’s more she has never once played the “notice anything different?” game. Nor has she played the “red or blue shoes?” game. Or the “Bum look big” game. (Well actually she is obsessed with the size of her arse, but(t) not from a “get at kabbes” point of view, so effectively there is no game played).

So my earlier comments were in no way reflective of my actual relationship. Any similarity to real life is purely accidental.

There. All OK now jarbaby? Frankly, I reckon you’ve got more in common with the kabbess than you’d guess.

In other news, I appreciated Gary’s wit too. Nice one Gazza.

pan

ah gee…blush…you’re all just too kind.

Can I also add my voice to those who have assured Jarbabyj that most of the “you can’t win” comments here seem to be fairly tongue in cheek. Complaining about things you and your SO don’t see eye to eye on is a fairly standard sort of standing joke, with a particular funny example here

[quote]
A Few Concepts Margret Continues To Have Trouble Assimilating: [ul]
[li]It’s possible to stop buying plants.[/li][li]Can you please leave me alone, I’m on the lavatory.[/li][li]Ikea is just another shop.[/li][li]I asked you if you wanted any, I asked you, now stop eating it off my plate.[/li][li]One may have a thought and not say it. This does not make me insular, it merely separates me from you and that mad woman who’s always at the supermarket.[/li][li]They’re just nail clippings. Nail clippings must be the most inert thing on the planet, how can anyone seriously have a problem with nail clippings? You might as well freak out with “Bleuuuurrggh - helium!” Really, just get a hold of yourself. So you’ve walked barefoot across the bathroom and you find this has resulted in a nail clipping or two sticking to the bottom of your foot; well simply brush them off into the bin - they’re just nail clippings. [/ul][/li][/quote]

You married this woman, and had three kids with her, and you NEVER NOTICED HER HAIR? You shameless romantic, you. What, her family had money or something?

HOw is it that you can notice that one of the women in your church may have at one time or perhaps still does have a penis, yet you failed to notice that your wife cut her hair? You’re in church for how long, an hour and a half? You had all evening at home with your wife? I’d be upset too if my husband paid more attention to religious transgendered persons than to me.

Mr. Seawitch never notices when I’ve had my hair done. Of course, when I have a Bad Hair Day From Hell, and look like an escaped mental patient, he never notices that, either. I think I’m ahead here, so I ain’t gonna try to fix it.

Actually, I was married to the male version of that. “didn’t you notice I trimmed nearly 3/4 of an inch off of my beard, and combed the mustach a different way??”

no. I didnt’.

But, back to your dilemma: “you know, I love you so much that it’s difficult to pick out only one single item to admire at any given moment.”, and reservations elsewhere where you again cover the points in your OP mother of my kids etc. etc.

Sometimes this works in reverse: someone makes a change, and people immediately notice it, but their reaction is negative. Once a girl in my middle school got an unfortunate perm. People noticed that, all right. My junior year in college, we came back for the fall semester. This one girl had gone on a diet, which she hadn’t needed, and her voluptuous curves had melted away. This was greeted with much regret by male students, while female students said, “Oh, you look…uh…nice…”. She soon plumped up again, though whether because of this or not, I don’t know.

If any of you watch Titus, you would remember that the first season, Erin, the female lead, had shoulder length hair and was generally goddess-like. In the second season premiere, she appeared with hair that was very short. She started talking to Chris while he had his head down, and I had just finished saying, “Ew, she cut her hair! I don’t like it!” when Chris looked up and said, “Aaaack!..I mean…You look…”, obviously thinking what I’d said.

Yes, Erin/Cynthia still looks good, and I’m sure Mrs. Dinsdale does too. But going from short hair to long is not an easy adjustment. The edges almost always look raggedy at first before they grow out. Maybe Mrs. Dinsdale needs reassurance? Or maybe she doesn’t like it either. There have been a couple times in the past when my hair coloring efforts went awry, and I hated for people to mention it, because I thought I was getting pity compliments. And perhaps I was.

You’re in a mine field, that’s all. Would it make you feel better if I said that there was probably no right thing you could have said, so you don’t have to blame yourself for not coming up with a perfect remark that doesn’t exist?

The Abe Babestress asked me exactly once if some slacks made her butt look fat. I don’t remember what I said at the time, but it was a running joke for a while when I would ask her “Do these pants make my dick look big?”

Re the OP, just try to notice things now and then with the Missus. Unfortunately, there is a perception that men lose interest in their wives after they have been married for a while. Or at least they fail to see them as attractive sexy women. This stereotype is ubiquitous in the media, and some women can’t help but be affected by it. I would just try to point out that she looks great when you are dressed up going out for dinner, or a play, or wherever.

All people need reassurance now and then. Men too.

Update:
last night I was informed that I had decided that she really ought to get that new gold watch for Christmas. She even saved me the effort by picking one out and everything. Apparently I have impeccable - and expensive - taste in jewelry. She’s gonna go pick it up today so, I’ll have my x-mas shopping done (I hope!) And the store (Von Maur) even wraps for free!) Am I a great husband or what?!

lee I’m not trying to disavow any posts I may have made in the past, but if you would so kindly direct me to where I was pondering womens’ dicks in church…? Are you talking about the “man in a dress” thread?

You should have noticed the new coiffure, It would have been a whole lot cheaper for you.

Has anyone else ever been trapped by this conversation?:

Significant other: Do I look okay?
Mystery Dog: Yes.
Significant other: Oh, so I just look okay? I don’t look good? I don’t look pretty? You just think I look okay?
(Mystery Dog runs from room screaming)