Saying Hot Chick = Being A Misogynist Asshole

[Beckdawrek]

@octopus

I’m all for freedom of speech and such however “Olive Oyl” is fighting words!

If you are tall and skinny they are. Have you seen a Popeye cartoon?

[Czarcasm]

@Alvin_Karpis

Trouble is, I don’t know what does and doesn’t count as a demeaning name.

Then shut the fuck up.

[Skywatcher]

@Czarcasm

Then shut the fuck up.

Just joined and headed straight for this thread. I smell footwear.

[Beckdawrek]

Mmmm! Argyle, my fave.

[Alvin_Karpis]

1 2

@Acsenray

You don’t need an “objective definition.” You just need to listen to people when they tell you want they consider demeaning.

Different people will tell me different things about what they consider demeaning. Often they won’t be in concord with each other. There is no rational way for me to decide which among them to follow. It’s always a matter of opinion, not a matter of fact.

There are two issues here, and neither of them is Victorian.

The first is that it is always inappropriate to call attention to another person’s body characteristics in any situation in which it’s not directly relevant, such as, you are having sex with him or her, or you are a doctor examining him or her, or something like that. It is rude to judge people on their appearance—good or bad—out of the blue. But especially so in a professional situation.

**Why should that be inappropriate? Improper? What’s a worthwhile standard of propriety in discourse? Back in the day, women were delicate creatures. You weren’t supposed to cuss in front of them, or say anything more specific than “she has a very nice figure”.

Certain thing are inappropriate in certain contexts, not in all contexts. In an interview for an office job, probably not. If you and I are discussing the hottie across the street, it’s perfectly appropriate. The interaction of the sexes is not a male chauvinist pig plot. It’s just how things are.**
The second is that part of the arsenal of discrimination about women is to reduce them to their appearance, body characteristics, and sexual desirability. It operates to rob them of an equal place in society, at work, and in politics. So, it should be clear to you that a woman’s sexual desirability is not an appropriate thing to comment on out of the blue.

To comment on those features, in the appropriate context, is not to reduce her to those features in all contexts. Commenting on a woman’s expertise in mathematics and economics doesn’t reduce her to a calculating machine. She can be a calculating machine in one context, and a hot chick in another. Neither of those reduces her to anything.

Reducing a women to her desirability makes it difficult for her to freely operate in any arena that is not directly related to sexual desire, like the office, or politics, etc.

Commenting on a woman’s desirability does not reduce her to that desirability except in that discussion, which is the current topic of interest.

This is the opposite of Victorianism, which freely used judgments about women’s sexuality to restrict their options.

[j666]

I want to make it clear that I do not think misogynistic harassment, no matter how relentless, is a bad as a realistic fear of being shot, beaten, tased, or even sucked into fine-and-court-costs death spiral, but I am seeing a lot of similarities between the responses in this and the “Living while Black” thread.

The same blaming and equivocating and meaningless distinctions … just listen , FFS.

And the offensive part is “chick”, everyone knows that.

[Alvin_Karpis]

Is “dude” equally offensive?

[raventhief]

@Alvin_Karpis

Is “dude” equally offensive?

I don’t know, Alvin, is it?

Jesus fuck, DUDE, there are women explaining in this thread what we object to. I don’t know what you object to.

Also in this thread there are men telling us that we have been brainwashed and don’t really object to what we object to. Go ahead and tell us if you find dude offensive, but be prepared for us to pat you on the head and tell you it’s only because you’ve been brainwashed.

[Beckdawrek]

@Alvin_Karpis

Is “dude” equally offensive?

No.

[Reindeer_Flotilla]

@octopus

I’m all for freedom of speech and such however “Olive Oyl” is fighting words!

Cute. He’s notice people sometimes post witty one-sentence rejoinders, but doesn’t have the slightest idea how.

[What_sGoingToSetYouFree]

@Beckdawrek

Guys, if you wouldn’t like it said to your daughter or wife, it’s not a good idea to say it about somebody else’s daughter or wife. Keep that in mind the next time you are out and about. It’s very simple.

This is the argument I also thought would get through to those who don’t get it, add mother to the list. I though it might help those who haven’t had a wife, daughter or girlfriend, which might be the situation, given the topic. Also, how you converse with friends in private doesn’t always pass as acceptable in public. And most corporate harassment training teaches it’s about whether the recipient feels demeaned, or in this case, it’s what other people think is demeaning, not what you think. It’s not political correctness run amok, it’s common courtesy and having understanding for other people’s feelings.

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk

[What_sGoingToSetYouFree]

@Beckdawrek

No.

Agree. I think worst case it might be considered disrespectful to an older gentleman, grandfather type, don’t think they call each dude, but I don’t think it’s demeaning or objectifying. Is there an equivalent term for women that is informal and not demeaning?

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk

[kambuckta]

And yet another newbie signs up today to post in this thread. Who’da thunk it was such a google-able topic.

[HeweyLogan]

@Alvin_Karpis

I mean, would hot woman or hot mama be OK? Maybe just hottie?

Or is it the attention to her hotness that’s degrading? I’m not sure why it should be, since that’s just one of the facts about her. Are synonyms equally degrading? Sexy chick, sexy woman, sexy mama: Are they symptoms of chauvinist piggery?

Is good looking also verboten? Dig that good looking chick, woman, mama!

Or are they OK; it’s just the crude word hot that’s objectionable?

Somebody let me in on the secret code. :

This. Totally this.

[Beckdawrek]

See post #225.

[kambuckta]

FFS, it really is taking longer than we thought. :dubious:

Let me try to explain, yet again. The SDMB is not Tinder, or Find a Fuck.com It is a place where mostly regular people have come to share wisdom, experiences and to find a forum where, because of relative anonymity, women have not been marginalized because of their gender. ALL of us, men and women alike, have asked stupid questions sometimes, but the inclusiveness of this board has not picked us out because of what’s between our legs.

But things seem to have changed lately. There seems to be a pox on this board that is hell-bent on putting women ‘back in their place’. The comments are disparaging and derisive, and no matter what we women say, we are put back in our place…because we’re being hysterical liberals, foul-mouthed fishwives or some such bullshit.

There was a previous thread that I didn’t contribute to, mostly because at that point I hadn’t personally experienced the entrenched sexism and misogyny that other women were highlighting. At THAT point, I was prepared to give the troglodytes the benefit of the doubt. No more. No more at all.

You fuckers grow the fuck up and understand you are RIGHT out of line with your ‘hur hur let’s troll the wimmins’…it’s not funny, it’s not nice and it makes you out to be complete morons.

IOW, fuck off.

[HeweyLogan]

@Beckdawrek

See post #225.

@Beckdawrek

There is no secret. Don’t call women, men, or people demeaning names of any kind. So simple. Easy. You never have to think about it.

The demeaning names being what? Hot, sexy, gorgeous?

Really?

No descriptors allowed?

[kambuckta]

Go find a 4x chan page to play on Hewey.

Fuck off from here with your sexist drivel.

[HeweyLogan]

Get bent, jackass.

[kambuckta]

@HeweyLogan

Get bent, jackass.

Wow, you certainly pwned me Mr Logan. Should I just slink away like one of the other women you’ve put down?

Not likely Sunshine.

Now fuck off.