Schmidt Sting Pain Index

Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports
1

I didn’t see the sting of a puss caterpillar, Megalopyge in Justin’s list. I guarantee you he hasn’t been stung by one or I promise you it would have been included.

Puss caterpillars are apparently encountered from Florida to Texas in the US, and a number of people go to the hospital every year after being stung by them. While living in Trinidad and Tobago (Caribbean), I reached for a piece of fruit in a tree and a beautiful golden caterpillar fell from a branch and grazed my arm. The sudden, intense pain felt somewhere between burning fire and corroding acid. It traveled up my arm into my elbow and shoulder joints and did not subside for 7 hours. Ice, ibuprofen, stronger pain killers; nothing helped. My heart raced and I really was afraid I might die.

The literature says that the larger the caterpillar, the more venom they carry in their stinging hairs. The US version is said to grow to around an inch long. The one that stung me was 2 1/2 inches long - over twice as long as what any of the experts have described, that I’ve been able to find. I showed it to elders in the Caribbean village where I lived, and none of them had ever seen one before.

I’ve took a picture of it next to a ruler. Since I apparently discovered this subspecies, I get to name it: Megalopyge DiabolicalAssHoleai

2

Nitpick: The second portion of a binomial scientific name should be all lower-case. Other than that, I fully endorse your proposed name being approved.

3

Here’s a page about the puss caterpillar and what to do if stung by one. Sounds painful as hell but not life threatening.

Puss Caterpillar

4

You must not have investigated too far in the links … :eek:

note to self - coagulopathy and renal failure are bad, m’kay - don’t get exposed to one of these critters in Brazil!

5

nm

6

Did Dr. Scoville eat every possible pepper?

7

I’m not sure if this is ridiculous or genius.

Joe

8

But he’s so cuuuute! Seriously, adorable. Adorable things shouldn’t be able to hurt you. :frowning: Now I will never be able to pick up an adorable caterpillar again!

9

Hey, if Cracked.com says so, I’m sure it’s true.
I read in MAD Magazine once that if an elephant steps on your face, your head will be flattened but you’ll remain alive and will look completely normal from the front. Nobody will notice your condition until your turn your head. I’ll bet that’s true too.