Scientologists and Car Accidents

In Tom Cruise’s recently-leaked Scientology promotional video, he mentions that when a Scientologist drives past a car accident “you know you’re the only one who can really help.” Is there a reasonable inference that can be made about what, specifically, the type of help is that he is referring to?

For example, if a Christian made such a claim, one could reasonably assume that prayer was the form of help being offered. Not being familiar with Scientology, I’m left grasping for possibilities.

I haven’t viewed the video but I read an article about it. My take is that the reference to the car accident is a metaphor for how Scientologists see that the world is in trouble and they’re the only ones with the clarity of vision to recognize it and the wisdom (or whatever) to fix it. It’s like if a person came upon a car accident and realized that they were the only ones in a position to help, they would have a duty to.

Even the metaphor interpretation is not clear, but if I am incorrect and he was not using a metaphor, then I have no fucking idea what he was talking about. And neither does he. :slight_smile:

He would immdeiately stop and give them a stress test and try to sell them pamplets.

Sell them pamphlets? Is he a Jehovah’s Witness? :stuck_out_tongue:

I went with my son to one of their centers (Wash DC) and they tried to sell me pamplets; 2 for $5.00. The JW’s that come to my house give them away for free.

No. JWs do not sell their materials. All of the pamphlets and books are free.

Ah, I see that has only been the case since 2000. That would be why I remember differently; I was a Mormon missionary (and hence, the competition) from 1992-94. Thanks for fighting my ignorance. :slight_smile:

Scientologists believe they have the best mojo for dispelling the lingering effects of trauma. Using this (copyrighted, proprietary) technique is called an “assist”.

Some quick reading: the tsunami and Virginia Tech. Any similarities to vultures are coincidental and unintentional.

Scientologists believe that people in pain or unconsciousness are open to accidental or deliberate “engram” programming, and that words spoken to people in these conditions can cause lifelong limitations.

eg; A paramedic makes a remark like “He’ll never walk again” while loading an accident victim onto an ambulance – it is actually this offhand comment (and not the spinal cord injury) that prevents the person from walking in the future. A scientologist believes he can undo/prevent that sort of thing.

They are also trained to offer therapy to injured people, such as a “touch assist” which (it is claimed) restores the normal flow of “communication energy” in the body. This consists of touching the person in various places, each time telling them “Feel my finger.” Importance is placed on only offering one stimulus at a time, and waiting for a response. This is supposed to promote calm and healing.

Similarly, they will offer a “location assist,” gently orienting the subject in MEST. (Matter, Energy, Space, and Time.) eg; “You are under a tractor in a field just outside Lawrence, Kansas. It is two o’clock in the afternoon, on Friday, February the 18th, 2008. Now, repeat that back to me.” This is supposed to keep the thetan in their body. Thetans are supposed to react to stress by “exteriorizing” - leaving the body. This can be dangerous because (supposedly) thetans can run into dangers outside the body, gaining more bad programming, and also more prosiacly they may not find their way back to the body, permanently exteriorizing. Which is to saying, fecking snuff it.

This is from personal observation of Scientologists in their natural environs circa 1986-1990. Spending time at a Scientology school and watching these practices applied to juveniles’ skinned knees on the playground was pretty damned surreal.

If they are the only one who can really help then why do they drive past?

I think by “help” he means “stare at the gashed-open cheeks and crushed limbs of the accident victims and rub your penis against your steering wheel until the ivory globes of semen drip down the surface of the moulded instrument binnacle and fall to rest on the carpet, joining other fluids of man and machine in a whirlpool of sexual energy.”

In my religion, The Church of the Dirty Old Uncle, we do the same thing. Except we augment the treatment with a gaseous infusion of organic healing essences which are tranquilizing, yet stimulating.

And we say “Pull my finger,” instead.


Here is a link to a handbook on Scientology first aid practices.

I like this bit near the end:

I’m having visions of a Scientologist offering assistance during the filming of a Three Stooges short…