My husband of a few months (in his early 40’s) claims that scratching his balls gives him erections. This does not make sense to me and I am trying to understand. He gets mad at me for not giving him the benefit of the doubt, however, I cannot lie that I feel hurt, insecure and in competition with something that gives him erections. In the presence of our marriage therapist, he denied that he was masturbating or fantasizing about other women- that he simply scratches, it felt good and got an erection. I understand that NOT all erections are caused by sexual stumuli, however, this sounds illogical to me. Especially when he does it 3 to 4 times at night to early morning with an erection lasting as long as 20 minutes! I told him not to insult my intelligence and that I needed to understand the physiology and such as to how erections can occur and last as long as 20 minutes from ball scratching. I told him I loved him even if he was jacking off - but of course it hurts that he is spending more time getting off from his ball scratching than spending time with me. If he is indeed masturbating- then we could address that and move forward and work on strengthening our marriage. He says he is not aware or it was subconscious but I’ve caught him several times checking if I was asleep before he commenced. AND at night while he was scratching his “balls” for a long time, I was going to help scratch them for him but he block my hand and told me “Don’t! You know that I get easily aroused!” Seemed obvious he was trying to save face since he was already “hard” and no, it’s untrue that in the matter of seconds by touching his balls/penis he would get erect immediately. He doesn’t get erect that soon at all. Seems obvious he is vehemently denying he is jacking off. Plus his penis was so erect it was near his belly button and his hand was holding the base of his penis. Seems obvious that it points to masturbation, but he denies it.
I know everyone is different but I would like to know if this indeed occurs with most men- if scratching testicles can cause long lasting erections or any erections at all. Thank you.
A little TMI there, so I’ll address the factual question you are asking: Yes. Also, keep in mind that an erection can happen without stimulating anything other than a man’s brain.
Whether or not your husband is lying to you is beyond the scope of this forum.
Yes, scratching can result in an erection, at least in some men. Most? No idea. LOTS of different kinds of stimulation, physical or mental, can result in an erection.
It sounds like your husband may be uncomfortable with the fact that this stimulation produces that result.
You’re already seeing a therapist. If the therapist is not resolving an issue satisfactorily, then you need to see a different one. You and your husband are not communicating. Writing to us isn’t the answer. You need to figure out the real basis of your mistrust.
Since the OP seems to be far more concerned with trust relationships with her husband than with the actual physiological mechanisms of erection, let’s move this over to IMHO.
Typically, when your balls itch, you scratch them. Maybe 4 or 5 times. Any more than that, and you’re playing with it. If you scratch them long enough to get a woody, then they probably didn’t itch in the first place.
Men get erections at all sorts of times and conditions. Until our health declines and we can’t. Masturbation is normal even for people who are married. You can’t control what hubby thinks and you will turn into a crazy shrew trying. He’s going to look at other women, it is reasonable to ask him to do so very discreetly when around you.
It seems strange that you would need to see a marriage counselor about masturbation… stranger yet if it has to do with him scratching his scrotum. Sorry for laughing at you right now–kind of. You must know how absurd this seems. And the idea of you laying in bed at night trying to help your husband scratch his balls and him shyly turning you down… ah, my stomach hurts.
But suffice to say the real problem is feeling unwanted and that’s an unfortunate thing. But think about it… to concentrate on the physiology of an erection, even if it meant you found out he was lying, really just undermines the actual issue. Who cares if he’s telling the truth about it or not? It’s a matter of incorporating that kind of thing into how you understand that person and choosing, or not, to move forward with (or without) it. I’m not sure what else to say about the ball-sack-scratching marriage problem.
This may seem insensitive, but I gotta say, if he’d rather jerk it even while he’s lying next to you, even after you make an advance, then you might need to evaluate and improve your own performance.
He came up with the “scratching” cover story so as not to offend you by insinuating that you weren’t fulfilling his needs. The good news is that he obviously loves you for reasons other than your current sexual performance, so at least there’s something to build on.
Are you under the impression that men don’t masturbate when they’re in a relationship? I was masturbating even when I was having sex half a dozen times a day.
