Dear Mr. Fisherman
My internet connection is slow, very slow. At peak times the traffic is far more than the Chinese telecom system can handle and things become unbearably slow. Seeing as how I work part time over the internet, this is an imperial pain in the ass for me.
One thing I do not need is for you to go dragging your god damned illegal fishing trawler through the main fiber optic cable out of the country, severing it and rendering the largest nation in the world virtually cut off from the outside world. Not to mention, it bothers ME a hell of a lot!
If this ever, ever happens again ; I swear I will get my hands on one of those AEGIS cruisers and blast your rusty little tinpot out of the water for good!
If you really can’t fish anywhere else than in that little spot where you seem to sever the cable every few weeks, you need to get to land and get yourself a decent job; like counterfeiting American merchandise or something.
Just stay AWAY from the cable…
— G. Raven
Shouldn’t that be a People’s Glorious Revolutionary pain in the ass?
Oh, and before I duck and run, you should know that it’s going to be OK. You’ve got about 1 TB of capacity coming in the next few months, on four separate cables, only one of which is a club cable. So things will get better.
Now Ducking and running.
When you’re finished blasting the fishing boat, would you mind having a word with the semi-trained chimps that “run” the LAN here at my university, Morrison?
This is one of the top universities in Korea (not that there’s anything wrong with that), and its LAN is down about 10% of the time! It’s very annoying when it goes down with I am trying to DL, uh, educational 
material!
Thanks for the tip Manhattan, that’s the best damned news I’ve heard since the revolution, and a damned funny joke too. You can save the ducking and running for the Chinese invasion next Nove… eh, some month. Perhaps.
I have no knowledge of any invasion. Ehem. (ducks and runs)
Astro: I feel your pain man. My father works for the top university in Iceland (financially at least), and their LAN is down all the time too, and usually it happens AT NIGHT, meaning the day time over here in China. That means no remote e-mail access for pappy 
I think I could rig up some sea to surface missiles for you after I find that poor little fishingboat…
— G. Raven