No, I didn’t see him accuse her of that-I stand corrected.
And I appologize then.
I was under the impression he accused her privately.
forget what I said.
:o
Biggirl:
What would you guess to be the purpose of my diversionary tactic? What do you think I’m trying to hide from?
I don’t think I’ve given you any cause to assume that my words and actions mean anything other than what I say they do, and I’m disapointed that you’d think otherwise.
If I understand your position in that other thread correctly, this is exactly the kind of false assumption that bothers you so much when applied to obesity.
I say this out of respect.
I read this and the MPSIMS thread, didn’t go any further, it would help me get a handle on any long-standing fueds, but I didn’t see where they applied to waht I’m about to say.
When a person steps on another persons toes, they apologise, even if it was an accident and they didn’t mean to.
You stepped pretty hard on her toes, however softly you tried to not.
I’m an SDpup, I know. So, sorry if this gets your dander up, coming from me. Wouldn’t ahve said it if I didn’t like you.
inor:
I appreciate the kid gloves you’ve used, and the polite and civil way you’ve made your suggestion.
However, I am deeply and unreasonably offended by your polite and civil suggestion. Therefore, I am going to fire off a hate e-mail to your personal address and tell you that you better not fucking dare post to this thread again.
Seeing as you don’t, I will be satisfied for a while. But, because I crave controversy, and have little that’s positive to contribute, I will shortly grow dissatisfied. Recalling what a pushover your were the first time, I will seek to ambush you in another thread through character asassination, and deliberate misconstrual of meaning. When you continue not to respond I’ll assume you are a real weenie, and push it even further.
If you are unwise, finally enough will be enough, and you will respond. I will again act all indignant and create a spectacle using the original incident and your most recent response as an excuse to get the controversy and attention I crave.
Then, of course, you should apologize for your polite and civil post.
Had she been polite and civil, I expect we could have disussed it, or not, as reasonable adults in a public forum. Under such circumstances I would apologize sincerely for any toe-stepping in which I engaged with a civil and reasonable person.
That was my expectation, but that was not what happened. If you step on somebody’s toes, and they shoot at you with a shotgun, they are wrong, not you.
If, as I suspect from Stoid’s posting history is the case, she deliberately goes out of her way to set her toes where they will likely be stepped on because she enjoys setting off a reaction, than no apology is warranted, and a person would in fact would be making a mistake to give her one.
The best thing to do with a poisonous person is to let them know you are no longer willing to be screwed with.
Your response is reasonable, and I do sincerely appreciate both it, and your kind sentiments. Normally I’d agree with you, but I don’t think you’ve seen the whole picture.
I didn’t think Scylla’s initial post in the MP forum was inflammatory. I thought it was a bit simplistic to take one friend’s opinion on the matter, even a surgeon, as the final authority on the subject. However, I didn’t think his post was an attack.
Rather, it was insensitive. Because it was very clear that Stoid felt very strongly about this. And we shouldn’t DISMISS people’s feelings when they are very obviously tanked up about something.
Unsolicited advice: Scylla: Let it go. There was a time to say “Oops. Sorry!” and it’s several posts too late. So drop it. Stoid: If you want people to be sensitive about your feelings, you would be well served to pacify your anger before submitting posts or sending e-mail. You aren’t exactly a model for sensitivity your own self.
Scylla, I can see where you’re coming from, but I think you need to try looking at this from a different perspective. Sure, for you a discussion about Stoid’s lucidity during surgery is a purely intellectual one, but for her, it’s a highly personal and emotional event that you’re talking about. For you, it’s absurd to get strongly worded emails about such a matter. For her, it’s a matter of keeping someone from continuing to demean her personal experience. Yeah, it’s an overreaction, but it wasn’t entirely uncalled for, nor was it really threatening.
Stop playing the martyr. If you have a problem with someone in a debate, say so. Don’t bring up unrelated personal business just to piss them off. Even if you succeed in making your opponent look bad, it’s not exactly going to reflect well on you.
And Stoid, you think maybe in the future, you should probably tone it down a notch, hmm?
And Matt, the major flaw in your analogy is that it is completely moronic to think “gay bashing” is entirely in a person’s mind (incidentally, what does it mean to be “almost gay bashed”?). On the other hand, it isn’t exactly clear what goes on in someone’s mind while they are under anesthesia. Sure, medical science seems to have decided one way, but the other opinion isn’t obviously stupid, especially if you’ve heard it from someone you accept as an authority.
I said this:
After sinning greatly by reflecting on a Pit comment, I need to retract that.
I think that Stoid is merely making a mountain out of a mole hill. This may qualify for the month’s top “Over Reaction Award.”
I submit that no part of the board is to be used to SPREAD ignorance. So, if you saw something that you felt was factually incorrect on ANY part of the board, politely offering an alternate view seems very acceptable.
inor…
You baby you. 
It would take 4 days of straight reading threads from Nov. 4th until Jan. 21st for you to finish all the GD threads on the election if you wanted all the background here.
IMHO polite disagreement should not bring about the response Stoid gave.
Here are a couple of other random thoughts about this.
[li]I’m greatly enjoying Stoid’s use of vulgarity. It was only a week or so ago where she was berating me and bragging about how she doesn’t use that type of language.[/li]
[li]Matt - What do you think the board’s reaction would be if someone came out and started claiming their most disturbing experience was when they were abducted by aliens? I don’t think Stoid’s story is all that far out, but it IS further out than a story about gay bashing.[/li]
[*]I think Stoid is in the clear about using her e-mail to Scylla and posting this thread. When has a pit thread between board regulars ever NOT been messy?
Waterj:
If it was such a deeply personal time bomb that she was unwilling to discuss than she shouldn’t have posted it.
I will now take Pundit Lisa’s excellent advice (perhaps a post late.)
Nope, this is not my position on the other thread. My position is that you cannot draw conclusions about someone’s character based on what that person looks like. You need to see a person’s actions and get a feeling of their personality.
You cannot assume anything, either positive or negative, based on what a person looks like.
I have interacted with you on these boards for quite some time. I have seen your personality and have read about your actions and reactions. I have come to my conclusions based on these interactions.
Ed is your daddy.
Do what Ed sez.
Hey Mr. Cynical,
Thanks for spamming us with that quote…really helps…
Scylla, you were entirely within your rights to comment on, and try to rebuke, Stoid’s experience. That doesn’t mean you had to. Perhaps this is just my opinion, but I think sometimes keeping the peace is more important than fighting what you believe to be ignorance.
For instance, I believe it’s within my right to burn the American flag. That doesn’t mean I have to. Hell, it doesn’t even mean I should. Why? Because it’s a sensitive subject and there’s no need to rock the boat.
At worst, all you’re guilty of is an extreme lack of tact.
At best, all you’re guilty of is a failure to choose your battles very well.
It’s like a marriage, sometimes it doesn’t matter who’s right and who’s wrong. If you can avoid an argument, do so.
You’re welcome, Krispy. You’re still as useless as ever, but you’re welcome in spite of the fact. :rolleyes:
Vince, Buddy.
I swear to you, had I known she was going to explode I would have stayed away. It all seemed like normal Stoid until the hate mail.
Admittedly the first email should have been a clue, but I didn’t read it correctly, and the topic seemd interesting.
Then BAM!
And, as soon as I found out…
I shut up.
I avoided her. Maybe I should’ve figured it out earlier, but I don’t know how I’m supposed to know what’s going to set her off in advance.
Biggirl:
I really am sorry you feel that way. My discussion with you left me with a high and positive opinion of you, as it did with Sexywriter and especially Mearra who didn’t assume I was being a deliberate jerk because I thought there was information to be gleaned at first glance.
Ya know, Scylla, I just ain’t buyin’ it. I’ll * ** discuss ** * it all day long… I never dreamed I’d be asked to ** defend the truth of it **. Even so, ** I did. ** With cites and everything! You are * still * scrambling to justify what was, in the beginning, just a dumb move on your part, that you could have fixed very easily way back when by just shutting the fuck up when it became apparent that your big feet were taking you into some dangerous territory.
You made a foolish mistake. The title of my thread was plenty of warning of how touchy the topic would be, and any marginally sensitive person would have known that * ** going in ** *. I gave you the benefit of the doubt the first time, and said as much. My * first * response to you in that thread was an unmistakable clarification of the fact that you had tread on my toes, but you were in such hot pursuit of your need to be right that you chose to ignore it and keep pushing me, and doing so on a * personal * matter. Uncool out the gate, man. (Not to mention, but I’m gonna, that I was in fact right and you were wrong. Do you ever plan to cop to that, by the way? Didn’t think so.)
Think of it as a rattlesnake rattling in the grass as you approach… you gonna keep heading in that direction and then whine about it when you get bit?
You make it sound here like the minute you posted I was firing off threatening emails, when we all know that isn’t true. In fact, the only reason I emailed you at all was because Uncle Beer stepped in before I could respond to your second post, and I didn’t want to open a special thread just to tell you what a jerk I thought you were being. (And here we end up anyway. Hmm.) I wrote you privately exactly what I had planned to write publicly.
And this drama queen trip you’re on has just got to go.
The Fat Stereotype thread was just a debate, you were making unsupported assertions, spewing offensive opinions (which offended just about everybody, I might add) and I was coming after you on ‘em. Happens every day around here, all day. I remain of the opinion that you did not have a good answer to any of my arguments, and that is why * you * went personal with it. Throughout that thread, I was attacking your attitudes and your assertions, not you. (except that I did bring up the fact that you don’t like being wrong). You couldn’t answer me, so you started making strange remarks about me and my motives, without any explanation. When I refuted them, you brought this up * specifically to discredit me and cast aspertions on my character * . So while I may, in fact, have been a little harsh here and there, both this and the original episode were incited by * your * bad behavior.
You know, Scylla, you are obviously a really sensitive guy, to have reacted so strongly to my pissed off e-mail, and seen it as “threatening” – and you suffer the classic weakness of many hypersensitive people: you are so busy being all wrapped up in your OWN fragile feelings that you are utterly blind to other people’s.
Well, here’s your wake up call. You gonna answer it, or go back to sleep and feel a little sorrier for poor old you, being all viciously attacked and threatened by big bad scary Stoid?
Stoid
PS: On the topic of your enormous insensitivity, I include the fat thread, where you were, in case you were not aware of it, and you obviously were not, essentially making unpleasant and rude generalizations about the actual human beings you were talking to. Which is not to say you had no right to do so, only that as usual you seem completely oblivious to how extraordinarily rude you are being in your need to be right.
If I’m not mistaken, I was tarred and feathered for doing something similar. At least when I did it, I was talking about belief systems people choose, take pride in and defend, not about their fundamental humanity and the physically and psychologically painful challenges they face every day of their lives!
Oh, and one more goddamn thing, everybody: “Don’t you DARE…blah blah blah” is usually understood to be “Self-righteous indignation”, not ‘disturbing & threateneing" :rolleyes:
And to everyone that has seen my point and defended it: a heartfelt thanks! Especially to those of you that fundamentally hate me. 
Scylla, it’s entirely understandable to not know how someone else is gonna react, I can’t expect you to see things the same way I do. But when she replied the first time (and there’s no way you could have missed resonating anger in that reply) you should’ve just apologized and let it be. Now, I can also understand why you felt the need to defend your position. But you don’t have to be wrong to apologize. And I think it would’ve made you look like the mature one.
Stoid said to Scylla
Pot kettle black, honeybunch.
Stoid, face it, you overreacted. Yes, the topic was sensitive to you. No, he shouldn’t have challenged you on it. But that doesn’t defend what was an extreme overreaction on your part. Rage is like bile, nobody likes to swallow it, but it’s better that than spitting it at someone.
Hear, hear!
I knew that was coming, but I went for it anyway. 