•05. No Use For A Name - RetroVertigo
2021: 80.3
2020: 78.3, 5th
2019: 75.0, 5th
2018: 77.5, 2nd
The triumvirate is crumbling, is there enough time to win before it falls apart entirely?
QB Strength: 7th
I guess we just have to accept that Tom Brady can throw for 4,500 yards and 40 TDs until he is 50. Probably after 50. He will chuck 40 TDs when the robots conquer us and Brady’s team is the only one in the league not fielding cyborgs. Let’s say, unlikely and blasphemous as it may be, that Brady does retire at some point before the NFL is dissolved. I don’t think Cousins and Tua are the answer behind him. I guess this team has a decade to figure out their #2, though, so no rush.
RB Strength: 2nd
I am doing these out of order because there is a pretty fascinating change in the weather happening in slow motion here. Long has this team been 2nd at RB Strength. Since 2018, actually, when I started these rankings. 2nd now 4 years in a row! This may be the last one, though, because it looks like Melvin Gordon doesn’t have another starter season in him. Dalvin Cook was an awesome pick, and there is a chance Ezekiel Elliott will rebound to his usual top 8 place. For years, Retro has drafted high upside WRs to round out this starting unit, and wisely so. And it looks like the timing just never quite worked out, like two ships passing in the night. Now Zeke is older and might be washed, Gordon is no longer the quality of a regular starter, Latavius Murray is cut, and Michael Carter is a rookie and in a Cerberus timeshare. RIP in peace, RB corps.
(This was written before the Thursday night game and Latavius Murray being signed as yet another piece of the “band gets back together for one last tour” RB room in Baltimore)
WR Strength: 7th
You don’t need a superpower to see the future in which CeeDee Lamb is the alpha in Dallas and a top 5 dynasty WR, Maybe Ja’Marr Chase reasons his way to the conclusion that the limit does not exist and becomes the generational WR prospect promised to us,. Then somehow this team is starting Courtland Sutton as their 3rd WR. That is an embarrassment of riches. That future may indeed be this season. If it is, and Cook and Zeke are still studs, this is a championship quality team. If it is next season that this WR group really takes off, it may be too late. This team will always stand as a lesson in dynasty roster construction. Either way, the top 3 WRs here will give Retro a decade of chances for the stars to align and win it all.
TE Strength: 10th
Eric Ebron is still in the league! Oh, wait, the starter is Robert Tonyan. Here’s the thing. We all know is isn’t catching all those TDs this year. But efficiency like that breeds opportunity, so he should be fine with the increased targets even if he does regress. I would not trust Ebron as my only reserve as the rookie there will take his job, but you can live with that vulnerability.
Youth: 11th
The age-related decline has a feature which will basically predict when you retire based on your production and age. Tom Brady should have retired ten years ago, according to this. If your QB has a 0 future value, you can’t really compete in this metric. Ignoring that, Cook is in his prime, and the WRs are all young and fantastic. I don’t think the future is nearly as dire as this ranking suggests. Continuing the status quo, however, probably misses the boat.
•04. Exploding Pancakes - SenorBeef
2021: 80.7
2020: 75.4, 8th
2019: 73.4, 8th
2018: 74.5, 4th
The dead shall live, and their bodies shall rise. Hark, for the end days cometh, and he who hath been vanquished shall be reborn.
QB Strength: 2nd
Boy, did I call it about how Diggs would help Josh Allen? Forget Beef’s roster, let’s sing my praises for a while. I mean, even the experts weren’t predicting that! Oh, I traded Diggs? Right, carry on.
Let’s say, for a moment, that Josh Allen is who he was last season. I heard somewhere he made the biggest jump in completion percentage of any starter in NFL history from one season to the next, but nothing else really jumps out as anomalous in his 2020. So, no regression, okay? Is he the dynasty QB1? I know Mahomes is Mahomes, but Allen beat him last season in points without a second WR half as good as Kelce or Tyreek, and no viable RBs. Allen is slightly younger, too. The only think keeping Allen from that ranking is that, at some point, the rushing has to slow down. Then again, Cam Newton ran for 12 TDs in a season in his 30s.
Ryan Tannehill continues to be a revelation and defy logic and analysis. This is an outstanding top 2, and there’s not much reason to think it will change any time soon.
WR Strength: 5th
Allen Robinson is underrated, every year, consistently. I hope Justin Fields starts soon so we can finally see what ARob can do with a legit QB. I can’t believe the Bears have a legit QB! Nothing I am typing right now can possibly affect the future in any meaningful way that could make anything go wrong with the Bears having a legit QB! We did it guys, we lived long enough to see the Bears with a legit QB.
Tyler Lockett is underrated, every year, consistently. I don’t think we will ever see a WR as efficient, unassuming, and unheralded as Lockett.
Odell Beckham is und… okay, he’s a mystery. His skill and technical prowess did not disappear, and he has always had enough of that to be a WR1. The talent, the physical advantages, those may have come and gone. His fit on his team may be even worse. I imagine the most likely scenario is that he is startable this season with a lot of irritating inconsistency and ends up as a WR3. I wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up riding the fantasy bench the second half of the season, either.
Between Chark, Deebo, Jalen Reagor, and Rashod Bateman, there is a top 24 WR. I don’t know which one it will be, and I imagine it will be hard to know until halfway through the season. Lots of depth here, and interesting players to watch.
RB Strength: 8th
This still counts JK Dobbins as his full projection, which is clearly no longer accurate. Ignoring that, Nick Chubb is unbelievably good. I’ve heard about a hundred times how he is the best pure runner in the league, and I don’t know what that means. What I do know is that runners Chubb’s size shouldn’t be that fast, but unlike Derrick Henry, Chubb has outstanding vision and is rarely stopped for no gain. It’s really awesome the way the Browns have developed this 2-headed rushing attack, but I fear it will depress Chubb’s perceived value. Yes, Kareem Hunt has cost Chubb some fantasy points, but I’m more concerned with the “perceived” part. Chubb looks to me every bit the type of player who is going to eventually make Canton. Can he keep that up losing half the work to Kareem Hunt? That would be a shame, if not.
David Montgomery is a fat, slow mirage, and I don’t trust him as a RB2. He wouldn’t be, if not for Dobbins going down, but still. Maybe he can keep getting insane volume and maintain his value. When it comes to competing in this league, you just cannot punt RB. If Monty falls back to where he was the first half of last season, zombie Beef may be DOA.
TE Strength: 5th
I don’t understand this ranking because there’s nothing noteworthy or valuable here. Evan Engram? One of the more disappointing talents of the last half decade. Mo Alie-Cox? Is it Mo-Alie Cox? Or Mo Alie-Cox? Do we give fantasy points for blocking? Somehow Beef dropped at least 9 TEs before the draft and still ended up with a blocking TE clogging up his roster. This should be 12th. Scratch that, 13th. All right, we’re done here. I think that just about covers it.
Youth: 3rd
This ranking is carried by the astronomical actual value of Josh Allen. This isn’t relative value, or factoring in scarcity, or anything like that. Just how many points will you score in the next 5 years. Josh Allen is going to score like Wilt. The rest of the roster has a decent mix of younger players and prime-age veterans, but the top WRs are starting to climb up in age. You can count on one of the bench WRs stepping up based on talent and numbers in the next year or so, but 3 of them? I doubt that.