After waiting all year for my team to come together, it would have finally happened. I would have scored 183.95 points if my team had played this week.
Of course, I didn’t even make it into the consolation bracket. 
SenorBeef defeats Ellis Dee 145.05 to 114.54
Hamlet defeats Jules Andre 107.05 to 91.76
Retrovertigo defeats Peteys Part 2 124.4 to 103.2
Spiritus Mundi defeats RNATB 113.47 to 99.61
The championship game: SenorBeef vs Hamlet
Third place game: Jules Andre vs New York Fanboys
Fifth place game: Retrovertigo vs Spiritus Mundi
Seventh place game: Peteys Part 2 vs RNATB
Welp, congrats @SenorBeef. Kyle Pitts scoring the most points by a tight end ever. My starting QB (#3 on the year), Patrick Mahomes, gets injured this week and me with already full IR spots, including another QB (by the by you have 2 guys who actually started for their teams last week in your IR spots) AND its past the trade deadline. Your earlier curse has done its job very well indeed.
“I’m rooting for @SenorBeef to win this year. I think his team can do it. In fact, I think its unavoidable at this point. His is the team of destiny”.
Oh no, now you’ve done it. Your attempt at fantasy football witchcraft will invoke retribution from the fantasy football gods.
What’s even more fun about this curse nonsense is that this particular championship match has extra meaning. Looks like this championship match will crown the first four-time champ in league history. Beef, Hamlet, and Varlos (RIP) have all won three times.
As for me, it was a disappointing end to the season, for sure. I suppose I should be happy to make it into the playoffs the same season I blew up my roster, but it wasn’t fun at any point. I lost two games by .55 points combined, and when I failed to hit projections, I averaged 25 points under. So I rarely had a normal week. All that and, aside from Woody Marks taking over the Houston RB room, none of my picks or trades this year moved the needle. I have a great roster for the next few seasons, but it isn’t like having the best team has ever mattered around here.
I am just behind Stringer (.650 to .659) for the all-time highest win percentage, but I have a losing record in the first week of the playoffs (.364). Because of course. Just an unfortunate year all around. Best of luck Hamlet and Beef
I’m not scheduled to win a championship until next year
It was very impressive you made the playoffs at all in a year where you blew it all up and rebuilt.
And it’s kind of absurd that Hamlet is complaining about the “curse” I put on him when he rode it right into the championship game and has a 50/50 shot at winning the championship. Superstitious people are silly.
Don’t like my matchups this week very much. The Cleveland defense is worn out and tuned out so it’s not the force it was earlier in the season but it’s still not who I want Josh Allen to be facing. Denver defense is going to make BTJ a bigger non-factor than he’s been 90% of the year. David Montgomery vs Pit is gonna need a goal line TD to be relevant.
And my defenses, all 3 of them, haven’t had a single good matchup through the playoffs. I think I gotta go with Denver against Jax but they just put up 107 points last week.
Achane vs Cinci should be good though.
I’m not gonna be greedy, if I could just get 30 points out of Kyle Pitts this week I think I’ll be ok.
Puka scored 40 points, I’m calling the cops
Great Kyle Pitts, I come to you in my hour of need. After you have been nearly useless for 4 years, you have the chance to do the funniest thing
For old times sake: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DOm_RiklE4
Ellis already has a higher score than most of us will achieve this week
They gave Cook a TD from the 1 yard line instead of letting Josh do it. 2 rushing TDs for cook, 0 for Josh, I’m cooked fam
I don’t want to piss off the fantasy football gods, but things are looking pretty good for a 4th @Hamlet Championship. I was not expecting it this year, especially after losing Hunter, Mahomes, and (weirdly) Aiyuk. And it took a big chunk of luck in timing, but I’m extremely happy to once again establish my dominance in this league.
Now if only I could do this in my money leagues…
Right, because if you are not appropriately humble, the fabric of reality will actually change to make sure that Rhamondre Stevenson will run all over the place and he’ll rack up the most fantasy points ever scored. Fate will take over his mind, and the minds of the other players, and make sure that this comes to fruition, all to punish you, one of the tens of millions of people who is interested in the outcome of this game.
I think you guys actually believe in literal magic dictating the outcome of this league. I don’t think it’s sarcastic with some of you. I think you think that I casted some sort of spell a few weeks ago, and that you STILL COMPLAINED ABOUT THAT SPELL even after you made the championship game as though it were somehow proof that you were cursed, and then that you cast a counter-spell or a spell reversal by saying similar things to me.
The outcomes of these games that matter to millions of people were manipulated by the very nature of reality itself for the sake of one random fantasy league out of millions. Now there are people who believe the same thing you did and think that the results of these games are specifically out to screw them, so how is that millions of people, all thinking they’re personally being screwed by magic, can possibly be right? Millions would be screwed by one outcome and benefit from another, so how does the magic of reality choose which people to screw? Are we the Golden League of all reality around which all of these magical manipulations work? I suppose we must be the most important people in all of history for us to be at the top of fate’s list for reshaping reality for us. Are all of the other millions of people who are being superstitious about this shit all wrong that they’re specifically targeted, but our league and the most important people in the world are not?
I know this sounds like I’m just bitter from losing a game, but honestly this incredibly stupid shit has been annoying me for weeks and I didn’t say anything about it because I didn’t want it to be interpreted as gloating, as being proud of the magic spells I cast as the luckiest person in the world, the person whose will turns to reality, who shapes the events of history, so now that I’ve lost I feel free to comment about it.
I suspect the rest of you think I’m just being crazy and that obviously everyone is being sarcastic and everyone is a little superstitious but I sincerely don’t believe that’s what happened here. Jules sincerely believes “I have all the luck” in a supernatural sense despite personally knowing that I fucking hate my existence because, you know, the fantasy output of one player in one fantasy league was high one week. And I sincerely believe that Hamlet thinks I did something inappropriate by casting a magic spell on him that spelled his doom to the point where he thought going to the championship game somehow proved him to be cursed and that he somehow gave me my own medicine by casting a counter-spell against me.
Deep breaths, @SenorBeef.
I didn’t think it needed to be said, but I certainly don’t think reality conforms itself to whatever I feel I deserve, as judged by some kind of supernatural beings of a particularly niche “faith”. And while I am more than willing to believe in the randomness inherent in reality, I don’t think its outcomes have anything to do with me, my actions, or my desires.
And now that I take my rightful place as Champion of this league, I’m more than willing to state it is not any kind of external diety or dieties that determine the outcome of our league, but rather it’s the intelligence, skill, and incredible handsomeness of the players that determines who is 4 time Champion.
Hamlet defeats SenorBeef in the championship game and is our 2025 Champion
Ellis Dee defeats Jules in the third place game
Spiritus Mundi defeats Retrovertigo in our 5th place game
Really Not All That Bright defeats Peteys in our 7th place game
Final standings:
- Hamlet
- SenorBeef
- Ellis Dee
- Jules Andre
- Spiritus Mundi
- Retrovertigo
- Really Not All That Bright
- Peteys Part 2
- Justin Baley
- Ol’Gaffer
- Omniscient
- dalej42
Congrats, Hamlet.
My game with Ellis was decided by Saturday, which makes for a pleasant Sunday and Monday. But I watched MNF with great rooting interest because I hold rePeteys’ 1st next year. So it came down to Christian McCaffrey for Purdy against RNATB’s Colts defense. And CMC actually took the lead, but Purdy threw a meaningless pick which brought the Colts from -7 to -5. That was enough to flip it to RNATB’s win. So I’ll have the 5th pick next year, which helps make up for trading Omni what turned out to be the 3rd and 9th picks. Yikes
I forgot that you had Petey’s first next year which makes everything suck that much more for him. He was the top point scorer and yet finished 8th which itself was absurd, but I was thinking “damn, a team that good getting a top 5 pick is going to be quite a boon” and it turns out he doesn’t even own it himself. He should probably be angrier than any of us for at least a year.
I traded that pick with the belief that it would be at the end of the round. I went quasi “all-in” by trading for an old RB with a ton of mileage.
I will have to crunch some college tape and think long and hard about the direction I want to take the team.
A perfectly reasonable strategy that effectively worked out (you scored a ton of points and should’ve been in the playoffs which is all you can control) but you got some ridiculous h2h results