a) Full-blooded no-compromises true boolean search field. I want to be able to enclose a phrase with quotation marks and have it search for the full phrase. I want to be able to use AND and OR and have the search-engine bring only hits with both clauses if I use AND but either clause if I use OR. I want to be able to use NOT and omit things that would otherwise be hits. I want to be able to embed clauses in parentheses.
b) I’d like it a lot if the search-index would index the names of people being quoted by other posters using standard automatic quote tags. So a search for “Lynn Bodoni” would see this as a hit:
c) Once a year, I’d like the option of buying a DVD from the Straight Dope Message Board Store, containing the entire SDMB database in the form of standard tables. For those of us who tend to search for dimly-remembered threads or posts from back when, it would mean less wear and tear for the servers and better speed for us to be able to search local copies
Another vote for a barfy/pukey smiley. Jjimm did a brilliant one a couple years back. I think it would see far more use than the Happy Orthodox Jewish Man, for example.
Oh, and the ability to search on 3-letter words, at least when other words are also specified. “Zit” and “TMI” for example. How else are we to get emergency appetite-suppression when the munchies strike? :eek: :barf: (see above)
In case y’all were wondering, if we got marquees, flashing text, dancing smileys, avatars or any of the sort, I’m pretty sure I would vow to never let the words “Chicago” and “Reader” flow out of my mouth or keyboard in the same sentence ever again, much less pay same organization for anything more substantial than a cup of coffee. In fact, I’d consider boycotting Illinois.
Just sayin’.
I disagree. IANA99er, but the way I understand it, :putz: was intended to be tongue-in-cheek and used in same way. The fact that it’s a pariah unto all forums outside of the Pit bothers me. Look at it! Isn’t it winking? It’s not serious! It doesn’t really think you’re a putz!
I remember being shocked when someone got Pitted or warned or something when a Doper used :putz: in IMHO or something recently. It seems silly to me to ascribe so much burning rage to a smiley that’s frickin’ winking.
Sure, but a lot of other boards don’t take themselves as seriously as we do. Some Dopers like that more than others, but the fact is that in GD, the Pit, and occasionally some of the other forums, words once uttered are serious stuff. I know I’ve posted things I regretted, and I wished at the time I could’ve edited them, but the fact is that most grammatical and spelling errors are minor enough that you can simply wait 60 seconds and then post a “Hee hee! I didn’t have my coffee this morning.” follow-up. I, personally, never miss editing unless I post something and then regret writing it–in which case I shouldn’t have posted it in the first place and that’s on me.
You’ve certainly got a valid argument but I respectfully disagree.
Dr. PoopiePants, I can’t say I agree with everything you say here on these boards, but I highly enjoy your sense of snark.
FWIW I also concur with the calls for the Sports and Fix My Stuff fora. And the boolean search field.
[ul]
[li]One-time membership fee: Raise the cost if you have to, but making members try to justify the expense of posting annually is sure to drive off some people; I’m on the fence myself, mostly because I haven’t been posting much recently.[/li][li]Close and archive threads old threads: Once a thread reaches the cutoff time for resurrection, close it and stick it in an archive forum. Restrict access to archives to members only to reduce server load.[/li][li]Avatars: Small (say, 100x100 or so) and non-animated. Not included with membership; members must pay an additional (small) fee to have an avatar or to change their avatar.[/li][li]Editing: A five-minute window for post edits won’t allow posters to deny having said something in any but the most fast-paced of threads.[/li][li]Reform the ad system: Ditch AdSense. Allow users to pay to place ads. Charge a little for links to SDMB pages (e.g. individual threads) and non-profits, charge a lot for off-site and for-profit links (e.g. a poster advertising his company). Allow members to pay not to see ads.[/li][li]Activate [img] tag: Hotlinking/thumbnailing images from commercial image hosts like ImageShack shouldn’t affect the SDMB’s bandwidth. Non-work-safe images still subject to two-click rule with noncompliance punishable by suspension or banning.[/li][li]Hide postcounts and registration dates: Or only show them in profiles. Neither is generally relevant to a particular post.[/li][li]Kill catchphrases: Board culture is one thing. Trotting out the same years-old in-jokes loses its appeal after a while.[/li][/ul]
That’s all I can think of at the moment. I’ll add more as they come to me.
On attempting to preview, I realized what I’d left out.
[ul]SERVER UPGRADE: Seriously.[/ul]
Pfft, Og smashed your 1920s-style “death ray” in the Marianas Trench with his ensuing penis for 20 minutes while saying hi to Opal, and he did so with the fire of a thousand suns.
Seriously, though, an occasional callback is cool, but when they’re in every other thread for upwards of seven years it gets kinda stale.
