SDMB Underachievment Award

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Hmmm…just looking at the date I first signed on this board and my total, anemic post count to this date. Using the now popular sports formula of "If he/she continues at this pace, he/she will break the record of (fill in blank) by (projected date of new immortality).
Lets see…factoring in the known quantities of:

– Insane job (police officer)

– Softball season (we suck this year)

– Beach volleyball season (my partner sucks this year)

– Trying to train for my first triathlon (I swim like a speared tuna)

– Keeping up with two hell-spawned, nuclear-powered boy toddlers

– The mindless computer diversion of Killfrog.com

– Short computer attention span resulting in being easily diverted by annoying pop-ups and mindless quizzes or surveys
(Is your dog psychic? Could you be the next Anti-Christ?)

…also include uncontrollable factors:

– availability of large quantities of Cheetos (necessary for continued Internet surfing)

– ability to tranquilize children with some idiot cartoon on Cartoon Channel, South Park reruns, or mind-numbing Pearl Jam or Seven Mary Three CD

– ability to dodge latest “Honey-Do List From Hell”

…ok, add up these factors, count for current wind speed and the Braves being one game back from Philly after the All-Star break, another diversion of hearing an old Warren Zevon tune on the radio right now (cool, “Werewolves Of London”)…uh…diaper need changing, oh yeah…carry the one…it looks like a 1,000 post count by…

…July 2005.

Thank you one and all for making this possible. :smiley:

2

Great!

Using your theory, I should get to 1000 posts by…hmmmmm…whhhhaaaa… carry the one… pi=3.1415…ummmmmmm…what’s the current speed of a swallow (African or European?)…

2020!

Woohoo, cant wait!

3

I should clear the thousand mark long after this board is brought to its knees by 2045’s ThreadKillers game, which will feature actual, 3-D rendered attempts to kill a thread.

4

Oh, and don’t forget the fact that you totally missed this thread.

I can forgive you, though. But only if you fall on your knees, beg my forgiveness, and make offerings of chocolate, beer, and stock options. :smiley:

5

Hmmmmmmmm…that’s not such a bad idea, actually…

No, Euty! Put that drill down! Please! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

6

I should hit 10,000 . . . accounting for curvature of the earth, the waxiness of the fora, and my ability to bullshit English papers . . .

2002, May.

7

I notice, Bluepony, that you and I registered in the same month, and you have more than quadruple my post count. You call yourself an underachiever? Feh!

8

Such an underachiever, he lets his own thread die.

You go, Bluepony! That’s the spirit! :smiley:

9

SDMB underachievers unite!

10

Methinks you spoke too soon, Plavacek. :wink:

11

Persephone,

I guess “SDMB underacheiver” is too harsh a word. I prefer the term “cyberspatially handicapped”. Cool, now I can use all those neat parking spots at Wal-Mart.

Hmmm…falling on my knees in front of you with chocolates and beer. Kinky, but with possibilities! And you can never go wrong if you have beer. :smiley:

Disregard the stock options, my clueless 401(k) plan is probably striding confidently into Antarctic wheat futures or zeppelin racing. Anything to absolutely guarantee I’ll be living on orange Jello and Chicken noodle soup for the rest of my life in my future retirement dream home soewhere on an alkali salt flat in scenic Death Valley.