Ugh… so hi there everyone. I posted to these threads a couple years ago when I was gung-ho and was losing weight, feeling great, and generally speaking motivated.
Today my belly hangs-lo, gaining more and more weight daily, and not feeling so great. Motivation? Feh, screw that I am too tired. I also have very good health reasons to lose weight but even THAT doesn’t motivate me. F-ck.
I find myself mentally very upset at myself and wanting to get back in the gym, eat better, lose the weight and feel good. However, I just don’t do it. No follow-through or commitment to get started and over that hump.
One of the things that keeps discouraging me is how much work it took me last time. I was up to 225lbs and went down to a low of 175-ish. I bounced up and down a lot between 175-180 at my best point. However, to get to that point I was doing hour long cardio classes at the gym 3x a week. Lifting weights 1-2 times a week. I was using a software package to track every single item I ate. Usually, since I was eating a lot of stuff I cooked myself it involved entering in every single ingredient and the nutritional info to calculate the calories, etc. Constantly, several times a day, I was a slave to the software entering in every bite, every drink, every bit of exercise. Watching every calorie against my “allotment” for the day to stay on target with my weight loss goal. Of course the natural response to this was to stop eating a variety and settling in on a few staples so I’d not have to do so much data-entry. Not a good alternative. Anyway, I just can’t see putting that much effort in anymore, it is just requires more discipline than I can muster at the moment.
So why am I posting? Yea, good question.
Today I made it to the gym for the 2nd time this week. (Last Tuesday being the first). I rode my bike to the gym, about 1.5 miles each way. I did 30 minutes of elliptical and then rode my bike home. Not much, but a start. I went Tuesday and was fired up about going again today. This morning, it took everything I had to get into gym clothes and go. I did it but I didn’t like it. Kept telling myself “If not now, when?” until I got myself out the door. F–k that was hard to do. Now I have to go on Saturday, if I do it will be the first time in a year I’ve made it to the gym 3x a week which is what I always berate myself for not doing. I’m not doing much while at the gym but I’m trying to take a small victory in just getting there.
So hello everyone, good to see some familiar faces from awhile ago. I’m MeanJoe and I’m fat, unmotivated, and disgusted with myself but honestly not enough to truly drive me to “firmly commit” to doing something about it.
MeanJoe
Sex: Male
Age: 38
Weight: 207 (08/09/07)
Height: 5’9
Waist: Most of my clothes are 36 waist but they’re tight and uncomfortable. I refuse to buy 38. Quick measure with tape shows 39… sigh Maybe I’m not measuring at the right spot?
Long Term Goal: 170 by ??/??/??
Short Term Goal: Make it to the gym on Saturday.
MeanJoe