To find out where they moved the alien corpses to!!!
I have access to cutting-edge patent applications from every important company in my field. Obviously, so long as the patent itself has not been examined (or after the prescribed amount of time has passed) its contents have to be kept secret.
I could tell you things about Peter Pan. And the Wizard of Oz…
There’s a dirty old man!!!
A client’s credit card was declined. She laughed it off and handed me another. Declined. Nervously tried a third. Same. She pulled out a Discover card and joked, “this one has to be good” but it wasn’t. Then she had a little breakdown. I know her socially, so I gave her $50 out of my pocket as a loan so that she could pay my business (we do no billing). I’ve told no one. It’s very sad; I thought she and her husband were really well off financially.
Lots of coin and money things from my last job.
From my current job ----- yes; some shipping persons do take it as a personal challenge when you mark a box “fragile”. “Hey Bob — catch!”
My theme song!!!
Maybe not that exciting to most of the public, but I tend to have an inside track on new developments in eye surgery waaaaaaaaaaaay before they hit the market, or sometimes even before they hit the clinical trial stage.
It’s not too deep of a secret, I suppose.
In some law firms I’ve worked at, highly-reimbursed partners “take” the hours of a new associate or paralegal. That is, the hours of work put in on a case by the lower-paid individuals show up on the client’s bill as work done by the expensive partner.
It’s doubly shitty, too. Young associates are always highly pressured to keep their billing hours up, and hours taken away by a partner have to be made up by the associate.
I am not allowed to have professional secrets. I am a govt. worker in Florida and there are all kinds of “sunshine” laws to keep me from hiding anything from the public. If you ask, I have to tell. Of course, if you don’t ask, I’m not obligated to tell.
If I told you, I’d have to hurt you.
My clearance isn’t high enough for killing.
I work for a company that supports the aggregate industry (road building, gravel, stone, etc). Many basic and common products are basically unchanged from the 1880’s. Machinery and consumables alike.
We have close relationships with customers who are maintaining machines that are used daily and were manufactured in the 1920’s. We have sister companies that maintain older machines.
It’s a heck of a challenge to dig up and read a part drawing from 1920 to try and fabricate a replacement part, let me tell you. The drawings are works of art though.
Many years ago I was a credit manager. You learn a lot more about people from reading their credit history than most other sources - bad debts, collections, legal actions, and even more where they spent their money.
Regards,
Shodan
Mine is even lower - all I can do is look at you and frown.
Regards,
Shodan
The problem is disposing of the bodies afterward. While in kitschy assassin movies there is a department of ‘cleaners’ that come and tidy up after you make the kill, the reality is you generally have to take care of the disposal yourself, which is a lot messier than you might imagine.
Clearly you don’t work in aerospace. Or automotive. Or architecture. Or…what industry do you work in?
Been there, and it is a lot less exciting than you’d imagine. No alien corpses, super-secret warp drives, anti-gravitation devices, or atomic cocktail shakers. Just warehouses and hangers full of old Soviet-era junk that nobody has time or budget to dispose of, and a lot of leaky, poorly insulated ‘temporary’ offices and housing that should be condemned.
Stranger
I’ve been thinking about that one recently, having a dude at work who is supposed to “help” with certain issues he’s actually been complicating for everybody involved. I think in some cases it’s like my grandmother’s complete refusal to admit that her husband was unfaithful. Since unfaithfulness was the one thing she claimed she would never put up with, and she had chosen him, it stood to reason that he was not unfaithful.
One of my worst coworkers was always cracking so-called jokes that nobody found funny, but for some reason our manager was the one person who never called him on how inappropriate most of them were and the one person who decided he was going to be friends with the guy, since he was “such a funny guy”. Uuuuh… I’m reasonably sure that proposing that if you don’t have enough money to pay for your meal, you should call your girlfriend to come give the waiter a blowjob, isn’t considered particularly funny in most locations. I also think the manager, being almost as stupid as the other guy but in a different direction, thought that “tries to be funny” = “is funny” and that “is funny” = “must be his friend”. The funny guy was this Ron; the boss was his roomie.
One of mine: I worked for a while in a factory that made rubber mixes (our customers used the mixes to make rubber parts). After a while, the Maintenance Engineer asked me, in a location it which it was impossible anybody would overhear us without us being able to see him, “what are carbon black and zinc white used for?” Carbon black is coal dust, zinc white is zinc oxide. Turns out that they were viewed as total pests by Maintenance, as they got into every machine’s nook and cranny: carbon black is scratchy, zinc white is gummy, both and either are great at fucking up machinery. But whenever they asked why they were used, the answer they got is “you don’t need to know!” Lovely people, the bosses there.
The reasons for their use are public knowledge, any book on rubber chemistry will explain them before page 10, but “how dare you ask!”
Both of them are cheaper than the reactive agents, thus act as a sort of excipient, but it turns out that tweaking the carbon/zinc ratio is the easiest way to adjust the hardness of the rubber. This is one of the reasons rubbers that are not black are more expensive: you need to use other components and methods to adjust the hardness.
Hold on a minute…
(grabs pad of paper and pen)
picunurse’s husband
AK84
iiandyiiii
DrForrester (who knows “they’re not in the basement”…)
That Don Guy - er…
The main big secret I’ve learned after working for a dozen companies on 20 contracts over the past couple decades is that everything’s the same: no matter how special one company might think its super-secret information is, it’s no more or less special than any other company’s. Their security training is the same, their requirements are the same, and nobody expends any effort whatsoever to make sure they keep things “secret,” because nobody really cares.
That, and, when I was working in IT at Best Buy, I knew what the next day’s sales were going to be. Woo-hoo.
Before I retired, I used to routinely work with confidential information. I had access to arrest records, medical information, snitch reports, personnel records, security procedures, passwords. I had a big rubber stamp in the top drawer of my desk for marking documents as confidential and I used it most days. And that was just the stuff I knew officially. I learned a lot of other unofficial stuff as well.
Of course, most of it was boring crap that virtually nobody would have cared about.
At a couple of colleges I used to teach at:
- One place admitted minority students with less-than-great test scores/GPAs. They followed them. They did better than the average student. The college had to keep this secret because:
a. White people would complain about reverse discrimination despite the outcome.
b. Black people would complain about the standards being intrinsically biased and should be scrapped, resulting in more qualified kids being admitted.
- At another place, I’d sometimes run into some jerk student who’d complain “My tuition is paying your salary.” Not one cent. All our salary was from grant money. Grants we wrote, managed, and produced work with. The total budget for our whole department that came from the school was around $30k. A secretary and some supplies. The rest we earned. And since the college took overhead out of our grants, they came out way ahead.
The college subsidized a lot of student aid from that. The overwhelming majority got a big break on full tuition. In other words:
"You are paying less-than-full tuition because of my hard work.
Pre 9/11 I used to catch snippets of information about subs. Now, never. You can get a pretty good idea of alert levels though based on where you have to stop when a sub goes under the bridge, and how many and what kind of guards there are at either end.
BITD I used to know who was having plastic surgery on the q.t., and even before HIPAA you’d get fired if you told. Also for a couple of decades I would only have spinal anesthesia for surgeries- OR conversations can be brutal.