Absolutely. And remember, pretty much all my friends were advising me to lie, and through this thread I cleared that line of action right out of my system.
And, all too often, people who ask for advice are really looking for cheerleaders, rather than objectivity.
So what? You knew that coming in here, and you offered your advice anyway. If you are going to be annoyed because someone here doesn’t take your advice, perhaps you should stay out of advice threads.
And that advice was unsolicited, so feel free to ignore it. 
I’m not so egotistical to believe that my opinions are definitive, but I was referring to threads, where the collective offerings are overwhelmingly in favor of a particular choice, such as this one, but the OP chooses to ignore that and choose the least popular option.
Before I offer an opinion, I try to sort through the stated facts and perhaps read between the lines a bit. I suspect that many others do the same. I think that effort needs to be acknowleged, by the advice seeker, with an explanation as to why they chose to ignore the majority opinion and go their own way. To not do so is, at the very least, rude.
If you expect people to take you seriously, you should act in a responsible manner. You are under no obligation to follow the solicited advice, but you should acknowledge the effort made in providing it.
Hmm I can’t disagree with that. I think I already thanked everybody who took the time to try and help me, but I’ll do it again and express my wishes that you will continue to try and aid me in whichever messy path I get myself into in the future.
As for why I chose to disregard the majority of opinions (with the exception of being honest. I think for that alone you should all feel you made a positive difference), it’s because… I’ll try to be as f***** honest as I can here… The specter of “possibility” (the what-if I talked about) is hanging over my head and I want to take a shot at it.
That being said, I don’t think your opinions were wasted on me. I now face the 25yo as someone who has unrealistic expectations about my faithfulness to her - because, obviously, we have never met. I also realize that I need to decide whether to play by her (exclusivity) rules, but that should be decided after meeting her and not before.
And last but not least, this sorting of my thoughts has led me to believe I am currently dating someone who genuinely clicks with me and that maybe I have already found what I’m looking for… I know I am probably going to dump her, but this thread is making me think more and more about not doing it… Yes I’m stubborned and make my mind up mostly alone, but I’m definitely closer to not doing it than would be without this thread.
Anyway, it’s never enough to say it, thanks guys and girls for your opinions. I truly consider you good advice-giving friends.
And thank you for the explanation. I’m, at least, gratified to hear that your reconsidering your relationship w/ your current GF, from what you say, she sounds much more mature than the online prospect.
Not be be mean, joazito, but have you considered that you need better friends? This could be a cultural difference, but all your friends advising you to lie to a potential mate is not the best thing I’ve ever heard.
As for not taking our advice, hey, no skin off my nose. I wouldn’t participate in advice threads if I didn’t enjoy being an “armchair psychologist.” The only time I got even a little pissed-off at someone having themselves a big, flaming wreck after ignoring all of our advice was the Lobsang debacle, and I just stopped reading his threads after figuring out that he didn’t give a rat’s ass what we were saying here and was just wasting all of our time.
Yes I would love to have friends that resembled me more. I don’t know if it’s a cultural thing here in Portugal, but apparently cheating is rampant here. “The end justifies the means” is also pretty big around here, meaning that if I lie and cheat just a little bit but be faithful later on, I’m ok.
I would love to have friends that aren’t afraid to be always honest and that would advise me to be the same. And that were just as able as the others, perhaps more.
Some time has passed, not much as happened, but an update is in order.
25yo (now 26yo) says she won’t meet me unless I tell her I love her. Yes, you read it correctly, and I sure as hell wished I was kidding, but that’s exactly the situation right now. I immediately send her the sms “then we’ll never meet.”, to which she replied “damn why are you this way, it’s your loss.”
Apparently she is pretty hot. She has lots of guys chasing her IRL. All the guys she talks to in MSN end up liking her or even a notch above (like me, falling for her). I would love to meet her and frankly put to practice all my fantasies about her, maybe fall in love with her, but to say I love her without meeting her… I know better than that. I could fool myself in believing that, I could lie to her in a “the end justify the means” way, but I could also stick with my inner self. And frankly, there may be less sex in my live, but boy can I sleep with myself (hmm pun completely not intended :)).
You people are the best. You are helping me stay true to myself. My self esteem is allowing me to, essentially, decline sex with a hottie who also blew my mind because of my values. And that makes me proud. Thank you.
As for 26yo, she sure could use getting some common sense in that head of hers. Assuming she means it when she says she loves me, demanding that I love her back just so I can see her is a bit mind-boggling. I think she wants to skip the whole dating thing and go straight to the nasties, I mean we both got pretty turned on online, and she won’t do those with someone who doesn’t love her. Actually, that makes sense. It’s silly, but I bet it’s not far from the truth.
Haven’t seen 18yo for a while. Because of her step dad. That would be a whole other thread…
Which one is it? I hope you’re not letting her supposed popularity with the guys sway your sense of regret. I’ve heard this kind of talk from women before and, more than likely, she’s just making it up to make you worry you’ll lose your chance with her. If it were true, that she has ALL these guys chasing after her, why should she waste so much time and energy on a guy that won’t reciprocate her love? Your response was on point; if she loves you as she claims, then she will respect you enough to either accept that you’re not prepared for a serious monogamous relationship or she’ll take you on your terms.
Bottom line, your word choice of “fantasies” and “possibilities” betrays the true issue here: it’s easy to let your imagination run wild and build someone up as better than she really is over the internet. You’ve seen some pictures, probably the best ones of her; you’ve also read her words, which, over instant message or e-mail, make it easier to see her as more intellectually stimulating. Its easy to fall in love with the most flattering image a person can put forth of herself. But in reality, its nothing more than the very best of her; the whole picture won’t be as flattering as what she’s put forth and what, of the rest, you’ve fantasized.
From what I’ve read, you have a much more mature and with it girl already who respects your desire to not be in a serious relationship and you seem to reflect that thought in your posts. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Nice post, Blaster Master. As for the decent/pretty hot thing, well, It’s like this… Killer body, the likes of which I have longed for all my life. Decent face… Which is to say, I built her up as being angelically beautiful and got disappointed when I realized her face wasn’t cover girl material.