Seeking Medical Advice!!

Which television show’s medical facility would you most like to be taken to?
Which show’s hospital would you avoid like the plague?

Please take me to “ER”. I would love to be intubated by Dr. Luka, or failing that, anyone there, really. They know what they’re doing - they just soldier on, case after case, no matter how loud and messy, ankle deep in blood and gore, hour after hour, day after day. (Even though I’d probably have to wait on a gurney out in the hallway for 12 hours before anyone noticed me.) (Runner up: Princeton Plainsboro, not only to be attended to by the enchanting Dr. Chase, but if my ailment is rare and puzzling enough, I get to have every possible medical test and procedure in the book, and no one ever asks if I have insurance.)

Please divert this ambulance from: Seattle Grace. Namely, “Grey’s Anatomy”. I fear I would pass away before anyone could locate (and pry apart with a crowbar) the naked horny bodies of anyone in that cast. I understand the need for stress relief, but going from a dying patient who is in great pain directly to a linen closet for a quickie wouldn’t rev up MY libido.

I don’t know about “ER”-I’ve got this terrible allergy to falling helicopters.

Do not, under any circumstances, take me to Princeton Plainsborough. I like my kidneys working just the way they are, thanks.

Take me (by chopper, preferably) to the 4077 MAS*H. If Hawkeye and Trapper can’t patch me up, it’s time for me to die.

There’s a 1 in 4 chance that you’d get Ferretface instead.

I would have HankMed on speeddial-Dr. Lawson is the MacGyver of doctors.

Really? That’s probably the best one to go to.

Sure, you’ll get misdiagnosed four or five times, and the first or second time you’ll even feel better for a while before almost dieing, but eventually they will make the right diagnoses and you’ll be fine.

I mean, seriously, look at their track record, it’s like 95%!

I would avoid County General (ER) like it was on fire. Two helicopter crashes, a tank attacking them, a grenade launcher going off in the waiting area, crazy guy stabbing people, other crazy people with guns (like, one a week practically,) a benzene exposure catastrophe because no one there remembered any of their haz mat training/procedures, and God knows what else.

Yeah, take me to Dr. House and his Rainbow Coalition of associates. I’ll grit my teeth through the first few mistakes, and wait for House to get that “Eureka!” look on his face that tells me everything will be alright. And maybe I’ll get a chance to cure a lesbian while I’m at it…TRM

The Jeffersonian has a world class medical facility. I’ll think I’ll pass, though.

I think Rampart General wouldn’t be too bad. Drs. Brackett and Early don’t screw around, and Nurse Dixie McCall won’t allow any shenanigans. Plus those cute paramedics who brought me in. If I need surgery, they can transfer me up to San Francisco Memorial and Trapper John McIntyre can have a go.

The thing is, they act like everything’s okay at the end and everybody forgets that the patient has, say, had all her skin fall off and her kidneys die.

Take me to the Enterprise-D’s sickbay, please. This sucking chest-wound just requires a simple force-field suture and a dermal regenerator. Also, Dr. Crusher is hot.

You can take me to any TV hospital, as long as Jessica Fletcher is not a patient there, or she has a friend or relative who is a patient at that hospital.

If Jessica comes a calling, you can be sure somebody is going to die.

I still don’t how she got invited anywhere.

Another Princeton Plainsboro here. I want to be cured, and hardly care about anything else.

“Hey Janet-are you coming to the office Christmas party?”
“I wasn’t at first because Henry, that jackass supervisor that everybody hates, said he was going too. But I came up with a great solution-I invited my aunt Jessica!”

Ditto. Especially if Evan comes along to be adorable and surprisingly useful.

I agree with salinqmind- I’ll be avoiding Seattle Grace, thanks. Especially since they seem to live in an alternate Seattle with awful first responders, if the ferry crash episode is any indication. (Please note: I have not actually watched the ferry crash episode. I’ve just listened to my mother complain about it 3 or 4 times for 10 minutes each time.)

I’ll actually take Sacred Heart. Unlike Princeton Plainsboro, it’s pretty good odds that I’ll go in, get treated and go home as a mere foil to some other activities rather than have to hit death’s door before anyone figures out what’s wrong with me.

I would prefer to avoid St. Eligius if that’s okay. My wife works in a hospital similar enough that she finds herself humming the theme song when confronted with three broken elevators and the like.

“ER” for me please. If I die there at least I will have George Clooney and Goran Visjnic in my line of sight.

Anybody who tries to take me to Princeton Plainsboro is in for a hard time as soon as my lupus/renal failure/dengue fever/parasitic brain disease is cured.

Well, then the last thing I said before I fell sums it up.

Valhalla I am coming.*