Geez, I know I’m going to regret making a pit thread, but I’ve been shocked (shocked, I tell you!) lately at how much everyone seems to be acting unbelievably pissy to each other here on the boards.
Is something going around?
I mean, I see the most innocuous threads with questions asked (like how do my outfits look or some such) politely, only to have several answers come back all judgmental and bitchy. Where did all the open-mindedness go? How come there’s this backlash against that?
Dear Og, what the hell?
People ignore what others have written in preference for their own interpretations and just flat out tell all and sundry that THEY ARE WRONG, DAMMIT!!1@! For whatever reason, and they can’t hear you. Lalalalala.
And, since I’m sure it’s only me who is feeling this way, I’ll leave it completely open that I’m being too thin-skinned of late and should probably either 1) step away from the keyboard, 2) get back on my medication or 3) not take everything so personally. So I’ll simply end this by saying thanks for stopping by and listening to me ramble.
I seem to be the person you’re talking about – let me suggest that I’m allowed to think whatever I think, and that as long as my behavior to you is civil, you don’t get a vote about what I think.
And actually, I can’t give a shit’s less difference what you think. I’m just having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that people can be so damned judgmental about something so inconsequential.
Of course you’re allowed to think what you want. Heck, you can even express those thoughts in any manner you see fit. Nobody’s telling you otherwise. BUT…as you so recently reminded me, the rest of us get to tell you what we think of your choice. Let me suggest that if you don’t like that then you should probably keep your thoughts to yourself.
So far, people think (despite what any actual piercees might attest) it’s, among other things: rebellious, ugly, stupid, ovine, not to be taken seriously, that there’s apparently something wrong with that person’s brain, disdainful, that “people who get them don’t like their faces,” unoriginal, sad, pathetic and conformist to just name a few.
I’ll leave it up to the discretion of the reader to decide if any of those come across as hostile. That’s the word that ended up being bandied about for describing some of these opinions. Oh, and I do understand that people are allowed to think whatever they want, both ways. However, I thought the goal was to try to be more understanding of different viewpoints than just writing someone off as something they’ve clearly stated that they are not.
Plus, for the record, I’ve noticed this trend everywhere. It was in a thread about “trashy” acrylic nails and plenty in CS over which take is the proper one on whatever movie. Damn. Why can’t we try to respect each other even a little?
In which the OP asked, “are these trashy?” in the thread title. Opinions ensued – from those who have opinions. I don’t, so I didn’t post in that thread. The piercing thread asked “are these rebellious?” and for those for whom the answer was “no,” substitute adjectives were offered.
If you’re not happy with people expressing their opinions, you should probably stay out of threads where the OP asks for opinions upfront.
Okay, so that wasn’t very clear. Unfortunately, I didn’t think anyone would want me to wade through that one as well, pulling out quotes by posters I haven’t personally interacted with.
And (back to the piercing thread) are you really leading me to believe that since there was no “adjective” offered besides rebellious, that you felt it was necessary by some to consider there was something wrong with these peoples’ brains?? I have no problems with opinions. Hell, I though unattractive works very nicely, as well as unoriginal, conformist, rebellious and “not to be taken seriously.” They may not always hold true, but I can at least see where those folks are coming from and it doesn’t feel like they are trying to be intentionally insulting.
I repeat, is it not good enough to disagree and state so respectfully? Or is it required to demean someone else in the process?
I repeat – where’s the hostility in that thread? Where’s the demeaning? If you need to call someone out, call them out, don’t pull this Quiddity Glomfuster BS.
twicks, who wasn’t pissed off before, but is starting to be now
You know what, I’ll try saying this again so that I’m understandable…
It wasn’t just that thread. It’s been all over the boards. I’ve listed things people have specifically said to illustrate my point, but I suppose that’s not good enough. So hang on again and I’ll get you links so that you won’t have to re-read my previous post.
Which doesn’t go back to the disturbing, disgusting, blahblahness of the others I’ve already mentioned. And yanno, what does it mean that you’re getting pissed off? That’s the whole point of me starting this! It’s like people want to fight for their right to intentionally put someone down. It just doesn’t compute for me.
Is it not enough to disagree? Is it not enough to say why, like something is unattractive? Do you have to tell that person it’s lame (which I thought wasn’t a good thing to say anyway)? That they are stupid? If you want to fight for that right, well then, I’ll use your terminology; knock yourself out. But I really didn’t think this would be a persistent attitude on the Dope, as it has been recently.
And I’m not even going to dignify the bullshit crack about QG. Anyone that has even half-assed seen me around the boards knows there’s not an inkling of similarity.
I’ve noticed what you’re saying as well and it comes down to this.
Someone posts an OP about a subject that is a bit outside the normal order of things (facial piercings, transgendered pregnancies, sex slave wives, etc) and says “what do you think of this?”. Other people tell them what they think. The original posters get bad and come back (along with those with an “Anything goes!” attitude) call the responders “squares” or get angry that someone would dare disapprove of something they just asked for opinions about.
A bruhaha ensues.
It’s funny, in “real life”, I’d be considered pretty liberal, yet to a lot of people on this board, I’m probably considered a conservative on par with Ann Coulter.
You know Justin, I didn’t see ForumBot get mad. I saw freekalette get pitted. And I’ll ask straight up, do you think it’s respectful (and therefore perfectly within the bounds of opinions) for someone to tell you that you are stupid / disgusting / pathetic for your choices?
Because just like in the threads you mention, I think it wasn’t right for someone to imply something about you in a derogatory sense. Disagree with you, fine. But don’t be disrespectful just because you can.
Or at least that’s my feelings on this. No matter what side of the fence you’re on.
I said it looks stupid, not that I thought people who do it are stupid. Those are actually two separate things.
And Justin_Bailey is right, if you don’t want to deal with the possibility that people are going to have negative opinions about what you’re doing, don’t ask for their opinions. I have never in my life walked up to someone with a pierced whatever and told them it looks stupid – because it’s none of my business. If you ask me what I think, though, you should brace yourself for the possibility that my opinion and yours may not coincide.
ETA – it seems disingenuous in the extreme to be suprised that people would have a strong negative reaction to someone – anyone – being someone else’s slave, sexual or otherwise.
I also have a hard time believing that if you asked someone something (How do these pants look? What do you think of my new car? …whatever) and they replied “Stupid.” or “Disgusting.” or to the effect that you ain’t right in the head, that you’d find that meant to be insulting.
Spring has sprung, the sap is rising. We don’t have to gore one another for mates anymore, but our lizard brains haven’t yet gotten the memo.
Seriously, I’d love to see a study of the hormonal state of humans with the change of seasons. I’d bet my left arm that some rhythm akin to the circadian one shifts with the seasonal shift. It’s not just here - in the stores, in my house, at school - everyone’s alternately elated and snippy as hell right now.
I think it’s just the nature of the Internet. People are aggressive and dickish in ways that they aren’t in real life simply because they can’t get away with it in real life. I try to make an effort not to do that myself, but I always fail at some point.
I haven’t really noticed any particular surge in it lately here. Hell, if anything, it’s the opposite! The number of Pit threads these days that are aimed at specific posters (as opposed to political figures or general societal trends) seems to be a fraction of what it once was.
I agree, “Disgusting” is beyond the pale, but “stupid”, “unattractive” and “conformist” are perfectly fair reactions to the question “what do you think of my facial piercings?”.
Is personal preference that wrong? I personally find most (but not all) facial piercings to be unattractive. I also find a bunch of earrings (like 3 or more) to be great. What’s wrong with having that opinion?
