Sorry, I couldn’t ungeneralize the subject enough. It would be too long of a title then.
Older, also appropriate link
Both times I tried to take it in stride, I made jokes, I smiled, I tried to offer a different perspective… but I end up here because the more I thought about it, the more it pissed me off.
Subject at hand in those: why people who are habitaully late are rude, arrogant, self-absorbed fuck sticks. And though it is true that you can get pleasure out of fuck sticks, apparently late fuck sticks do no such thing. In fact, in both of those threads you can read testimony—sworn testimony on genuine swiss timepieces! (now where is that swiss smilie when we really need it Arnold?)—that certain Grand Polite People of Master Timekeeping felt that habitual lateness is such a crime against god, humanity, and all that is holy that they would stop communicating with these people.
You can’t make this shit up, folks. You just can’t. That’s how we know it is true.
You’d think, given the frequency of people who complain about this, that our esteemed dopers might realize that they are hurling these insults at other dopers. You might think that, gentle reader, but you’d be wrong. You might think that after several posters indicated that they were indirectly the subject of the thread, people might try and back off the vitrol. You might think that, gentle reader, but you’d be wrong.
Let’s witness some tragedy.
From recent thread [my comments are italicized]
[ul][li]“In their case I think its a problem with upbringing - as children they were simply not taught that being on time was important.”[/li]
That must be it. It couldn’t possibly be that your life isn’t as grand as you think and being on time really isn’t the beginning of the world, and being late isn’t the end of it.
[li]“I think most chronically late people are also chronically thoughtless of other people, and how their actions affect them. In other words, people are on time for the things that matter to them.”[/li]
Well, on one hand, it was IMHO so what you think is worth posting. On the other, you might consider for just a little itty-bitty moment that people are on time when time matters. At least think about it, m’kay?
[li]“He’s no longer in our circle of friends - we got tired of always waiting.”[/li]
Ah, there it is! The REAL truth comes out! There are priorities, and then there are priorities, yaknowwhatImean? Wink wink nudge nudge? Because god damn, woe be any friend or enemy who is late! I disowned my own child for being born late, did I mention that? That’s right, inconsiderate bastard. I don’t fuck around when it comes to this.
[li]“Not sure how much of it was pure selfishness and controllable psycho behavior vs. some sort of uncontrollable mental glitch.”[/li]
Versus a perspective that doesn’t consider time the most important thing to think about.
[li]“While I’m not the time nazi that I used to be, I’m always 5 minutes early anyway. If I’m not, it drives me nuts![/li]I think that it’s down-right disrespectful of people to be chronically late when others have to wait for them. Rude, rude, rude! :mad:”
If this is not being a time nazi, apparently I have some other standards that need adjustment as well! Well, a path to enlightment is posted one thread at a time…
[li]“It is a lack of respect for other people’s time and a selfishness that says that whatever YOU are doing is more important than the other person’s time and plans…[/li]He and his wife are no longer friends of mine, for other reasons as well, but the whole “respect for my time” issue was right up there with the rest of them.”
*Well, thank heavens there are some other priorities there as well. This must be an ex-time-nazi as well. You ought to form a club. Hey, all the meetings could start five minutes early! But wait, then people would show up five minutes before that to be on time. But then you could start the meeting ten minutes early!
Uh-oh, I think I know where this is going! [cue laff track]*
[li]“People who are chronically late are creating a situation in which every single interaction they have with another person begins with the other person holding a grudge against them.”[/li]
Well that is a new one on me. Seems to me you are being a little presumptuous there in your assessment of people everywhere. I mean, what if two people who are chronically late meet each other, and both of them are late? Do they never speak again? Such a fascinating social dynamic to uncover!— Too bad it is bullshit dressed up in sheep vomit.
[li]“People who are chronically late want the attention of “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN” or “WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU” so they feel like they were missed and are that important that life was held up just for them.[/li]I feel those people are sociopaths who need a frosty mug of straighten up and fly right.”
Sociopaths, folks, sociopaths. A danger to society and the timepieces we hold dear. We tried to get a public list available for posting on the internet and at police stations, complete with photos and everything, but strangely no one showed up at the appointed time.
[li]“For me, its a sign of disrespect. ‘You’re not worth enough time/worry/ whatever on my part to give a rat’s ass about your time table.’”[/li]
Classic. Hope that sword your carving such a clear path with doesn’t have two sharp edges on it. I’d hate to see you get hurt or put your foot in your mouth or say something hypocritical. Or something. Yep.
[li]“Chronically tardy people tend to be more narcissistic and self-absorbed than the rest of the populace. They also tend to vehemently deny these character traits in themselves.”[/li]
No way out of that one, is there? What a great trap! Have you stopped beating your wife?
From older thread [my comments are italicized]
[ul][li]“We quit going out with them - it wasn’t worth the aggravation.”[/li]
Boy howdy it wasn’t! You made a smart move. There are much more important things than people’s company… there’s TIME!
[li]"[My wife’s] father had a good saying. If you are late and making someone wait for you, you are telling them that your time is more important than theirs. Simply put, true and good advice."[/li]
I see. And expecting people to be punctual and live by your schedule is just common sense because you are the truest and rightest person ever, you cutie you!
[li]“I think the most rude things you can do are things that imply you think you’re more important than everyone else, and being late is such an implicit statement.”[/li]
Unlike the implicit statements of people who terminate friendships over something like being late? Or what?
[li]“Bet she wonders why nobody here wants to hang out with her anymore!”[/li]
I’ll bet she does, whoa, you showed her what friendship is all about, didntcha? High five!
[li]“People who are habitually late are completely disrespectful of the time and priorities of those they are meeting.”[/li]
Oh, I agree completely! Why can’t everyone just realize the simple fact that time is the same thing as my schedule and way of life? I don’t get it! I tell ya, those late people, they just don’t understand. How selfish of them!
[li]“My time is not more valuable, but neither is yours, get it?”[/li]
Right. Thus, we all follow your schedule and rules. Simple!
[li]“Some people have whole days off with nothing to do. Others have to visit the drycleaners, the school, the doctor, and the grocery store. If you make yourself inconvenient for the latter sort of person to see, then you’ll miss out on their friendship.”[/li]
IMNSHO, anyone who requires punctuality for friendship is likely not worth having as a friend.
[li]“I’m done with the debate. There’s a reason I don’t have any friends with your attitude anymore, and my life is significantly more stress free because of it.”[/li]
And might that reason be that you are a deeply hypocritical bitch?
[li]“Loudly seconding TVeblen, YES! Inconsiderate bastards will complain when you and your five friends cease waiting for them after 30 minutes. DUMP these people, they have all the empathy of garden slugs, give them a ‘Am I sociopathic’ pamphlet, anything.”[/li][li]“You’re not inconvenienced at all by being asked to stick to a schedule - your distress is caused entirely by your own self-importance.”[/ul][/li]But this, my friends, is not the end of the tale. It is the beginning. Sure, these comments might seem a little harsh for IMHO based on the number of people we can expect to be habitually late distributed throughout the population, but in fact there were people in the thread who admitted to being such people! Yes, my friends, a direct attack thus comes flying out.
These were particularly intriguing to me.
Listen up you motherfuckers. I am withholding names here for two reasons. One, I’m not pitting you. I’d like to, quite frankly, I really would, because let me tell you how much I hate being called a sociopath and arrogant and rude and so on by people I respect in an opinion forum (hell, I wouldn’t like being called these things anywhere but IMHO is definitely higher on that list than this forum). But I’m not. You walk into this thread and claim an opinion, that’s your call: you’ve got my vitrol. I’m not dragging you in, calling you out, or any other sort of ridiculous behavior. Two, some of the quotes above are from an old thread, and perhaps you’ve become a little nicer of person in this time. I don’t want to pin anyone to something they said a while ago.
Listen up you motherfuckers. I realize some people might have issues with being late. Considerate, thoughtful, intelligent, respectable people also realize that their time is no more important than mine, and we seek accord on that. You want facts? I’ve got a fact: expecting me to make nitpicky fucking schedules to see you would be just as annoying as me expecting you to wait on my lateness. Some of you cruel fucks would consider this minor fucking hurdle to seeing each other as a mountain of epic proportions. Tell your friends how much you love them. Next friend you see, you tell them, “I love you, you’re a great friend and all, but I tell ya what, if you ever stop being punctual, out the door with you you arrogant bastard.” FUCKING SAY IT TO EVERYONE. Your husbands and wives, you children, your friends… go on. Because that’s what it means to be your friend. And since having fucking precise contracts is so god damned important, make your fucking intentions clear now. Don’t just tell them how you feel, tell them everything you expect from them, tell them how you expect them to adopt your standards of politeness and explain that if they don’t adopt your standards they will “obviously” be “rude” and “arrogant” and “selfish”. Go ahead. Because that’s what you mean, isn’t it? That’s what you want in people.
Listen up you motherfuckers. You’ve got a double standard here. I don’t know what fucking incredibly asinine generalization you made to reach it, or how many assholes you had to come across to form it, and frankly I don’t much want to know. Because you’re wrong.
We aren’t all arrogant. We do care about people. We have some different priorities. Don’t fucking expect me to even grant YOUR (yes, your: you adopted them and you are enforcing them) standards any weight in my opinions if you can’t consider mine, either.
Assholes are assholes. Lots of them are on time.