“Jerry! My hair dryer ruined the picture! And I need another one or I can’t get back into the Forbidden City!”
“…Who is this?”
“JERRY!!”
My favourite episode is either The Subway (where each of the four have a different adventure on… the subway) or The Pen.
Photographer: “Okay, everybody say astronaut”
Elaine: “hysterical laughter, walking towards camera Say what? Say what?”
Jerry: “pulling her back You had too many of those muscle relaxants”
Everybody: “Astronaut”
Elaine: “Astro hysterical laughter”
And then at the end of the disastrous dinner, Elaine wakes up from her sleep:
"STELLA!!!"
Any episode with Jerry Stiller. My fave is probably “Festivus”. “I got a lotta problems with you people!!”
“It was a one in a million shot, Doc!”
I present my favorite episode: The Chicken Roaster.
“That’s not gonna be good for business!”
“That’s not gonna be good for anybody.”
/“Mr. Marbles?”
Who IS this?
“No soup for you!”
“The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.”
“And if this wasn’t my son’s wedding day I’d knock your teeth out you anti-dentite bastard.”
Definitely the best ending. I always wanted to pretend to be a marine biologist too.
The Subway was one of the best, especially Elaine’s scenes.
“What the [bleep] is on my leg!?!?!”
Uncle Leo?
Jerry, it’s Frank Costanza, Mr. Steinbrenner is here, George is dead, call me back!
A line I use many times comes from a scene in which George’s parents are having dinner at Susan’s house.
Frank is talking about hens, roosters, and chickens. He says the rooster is having sex with the hen, but what is having sex with the chicken? Something’s missing!
Susan’s mother (Mrs. Ross):
"Something’s missing all right."
David Puddy, the very best extra on the show…
Puddy: yeah, that’s right.
Puddy: Oh. Hey, how come people don’t have dip for dinner? Why is it only a
snack, why can’t it be a meal, you know? I don’t understand stuff like that.
From one of my favorite shows, The Face Painter. “Gotta support the team.”
and who can forget - “They’re real, and they’re spectacular.”
one more!
Elaine’s father to George:
“Pipe down, choir boy!”
“High five”
As for my favorite episode, I’m going to have to go for the Marine Biologist.
That episode tied everything up so beautifully at the end with the hole-in-one in the whale’s airhole. Great writing.
“I’m not the one who’s stupid. I’ll tell you who’s stupid: you are. Stupid! You’re the grease monkey!”
One of my favorite exchanges:
Kramer: Smokers are people, too, Jerry!
Jerry: They are?
The “magic loogie” spin on the magic bullet theory is genius.
One of the best episodes is The Alternate Side, aka “These pretzels are makin’ me thirsty!”
Jerry: What happened to your face! It looks like an old catcher’s mitt and your teeth are all brown.
Kramer: Look away–I’m hideous!