I’ve lost some bouts but not a fight*. One key is to fight as little as possible and then only fight the fights you pick.
Thus, the vast majority of my self-defense consists of going where I want to go and setting up my life so that I won’t have to go where I don’t want to go.
*A bout is friendly or “in the ring”. A fight is on the street and for real.
I’ve been in many confrontational situations and of those that became violent, I have walked away with all my parts intact and with no serious injuries. I can’t say that for the people who did not heed my warning that fighting with me was a bad idea.
Without the training I’ve had I don’t think I would have been as successful in the fights I’ve been in.
If you can avoid being hit in the first place and have the ability to counterstrike effectively then your odds of winnning a fight will improve dramatically. Good observation skills can tell you a great deal about your opponent and their intentions.
We are required to take Non Violent Crisis Intervention where I work as some of the clients we work with can be aggressive and violent. It teaches our staff basic defence skills and techniques to avoid being hit and grabbed. I went to my refresher last week and was amazed that many people just don’t know a thing about how to defend themselves from simple attacks. It does not teach people how to strike or administer anything but safe restraints as it is geared to protect the individuals we care for.
The first time I took the course, the trainer was facing the group and talking about being prepared for the unexpected. In mid sentence he screamed and lunged for me… all he found was air as I had blocked and moved about eight feet away.
I had been watching him as he spoke and he had stopped pacing back in forth of us. He had stopped about four feet in front of me and I noted that both his speaking tempo had slowed and his feet had shifted into a more aggressive position. He had fixed his gaze on me a second before launching his pseudo attack.
I then got to explain to the class how I knew he was going to use me as the example and got an immediate pass on the “how to block” section of the course.
My only problem with the course is that after 20 plus years of training I’m hard wired to respond differently and use different techniques which are disallowed.
“There must be a region somewhere in the world full of people that have done nothing but lose fist-fights all their life”
DarrenS - I used to spend 6 hours a day, seven days a week training and teaching students. I’ve worked as a bouncer, and been in some truly nasty scraps and all out brawls. I’ve faced multiple opponents and some of those opponents have brought gifts (weapons). Most people I have fought with have been larger and stronger than myself as I don’t have the benefit of being 6 foot 3 and 230 pounds. I have been hit, kicked, bitten, and struck with a variety of objects but have managed to come through all this with very few serious injuries.
I have only fought when all other options were exhausted and like you, I dislike fighting as I am also aware of the damage that can be incurred to yourself and others.
The people who have lost numerous fights just aren’t going to be the ones giving advice on how to deal with physical confrontions unless they were to come in here and say something like;
“I was out at the bar one night and in a really crappy mood. I saw this little guy and for some reason decided that he needed to get his his ass kicked. For some reason he didn’t seem afraid of me and just smiled when I told him I was going to kick his ass… I took a swing and then he proceeded to beat the ever loving crap out of me before I could get a second shot at him… damn but that guy was fast and he seemed to know what I was going to do before I did… you should probably talk to him…”
Penn State, '96 or '97, September I think. Here is a link. I love the way the press change things. There was no tackling, I didn’t know she was reloading, and for the love of God IT WAS NOT A TOURNIQUET! Basic direct pressure first aide. Everyone tells me that a tourniquet was likely to make her lose the leg, and I respond that I know that and that is the reason I didn’t use one!
Thank you for answering. I dont know how I missed that story, I cant remember it at all right now. Very unusual for a female to do this.
Gee, while taking Karate I met a kid who had been kicked out of three different public schools and two martial arts schools for fighting. Every time I saw him he was talking about being in another fight and I got the impression that he wasn’t winning too many of them.
Sure, someone you want to sign up for your school, eh?
I’ve never had to use my skills. The voice, the look, the attitude are often enough to scare off would-be attackers. If they’re not, then I’ve always known when to back off myself.
>I wish i could say that I remained calm in these fights, but I’m a very angry fighter.<
Me too. That’s why it’s so important for training to become instinctual.
I once had a guy getting in my face because he was determined to kiss me. I put the middle finger of my right hand over the index finger, and pressed both down his suprasacral notch. He fell to his knees like a stone as I stepped back. He did not try again.
I was the loser of many fights as a kid…which is why I learned how to fight.
I took three years of Tae Kwon Do. It was there where I learned how to utilize my biggest skill…quickness.
I’m not sure how I got into so many fights. I was never a fight-picker. And I sure as hell ain’t any sort of perfect male specimen. I’m 5’10" on a good day, and my weight has only recently began to push 150. I worked out like crazy as a kid, but never got any bigger.
I have taken several skills from wrestling as well. In fact, I consider my six year wrestling experience to me more important than my Tae Kwon Do training. It was from wrestling that I learned to end fights quickly without incurring any actual harm on my opponent. From my own experience, the humilation of losing is much worse than any physical pain. Physical pain goes away. Humiliation has a way of lingering.
I’ll never forget the last opponent to which I “lost” a fight. I was about 15 at the time. I was going in for the take down and his foot came out of nowhere and smacked me in the side of the head. It can be no more than simply the discipline I had learned that helped me keep my bearings on the way to the ground. I managed to grab his arm on the way down. Within seconds, he was screaming for mercy as I sat in a daze with blood pouring out of my swollen eye. He’s the one who asked for mercy, so I broke the hold. He got up and walked home. It was a full ten minutes before I could even stand…and another four hours before I got out of the emergency room.
That situation gave me a lot of confidence, though. In fact, it was the confidence to avoid fights that it inspired. Perhaps I had something to prove as a youth…I’m not sure. I will try to ascertain as best as I can, though, that I have tried to avoid every scuffle I have ever encountered.
They still come around every once in a while, though. Perhaps that lends to skills as an effective mediator. I always seem to be the one who wants to settle “things”. Occasionally, I see both sides become enemies. My skill at avoiding a punch combined with the fact that I know how to take someone down has avoided a lot of people (me especially) from getting hurt. I’d probably get creamed if two guys came at me at the same time, but fortunately, that has only happened once. It was then that my ability to run quickly saved me.
I’ve been lucky… since Jr. High, I’ve managed to avoid fights, and now that I’ve got several years of fairly intensive training behind me, I do the best I can to avoid confrontation.
I’m not afraid of it, really. I’m afraid that 1- my ass is gonna write a check my body can’t cover or 2- it will really turn out I’m a sociopath, as has been discussed on this board a few times.
I’ve gotten in a few scuffles with friends, and drunk friends of friends. The last one was a few years ago… a friend of mine, drunk, was angry at me, and grabbed me by the shoulder.
I grabbed his hand, and put him in an arm-bar until he let go. He got REALLY mad, and grabbed me by the neck. I was on my way to popping out, and was already guaging how hard to hit him in his totally undefended throat, before I realized it was just him being drunk.
We talked instead. All better.
I’m worried that if I ever get in the real deal, I’m going to kill someone and have to spend time in jail. I don’t want to go to jail.