I could never understand the desire to sell one’s soul, especially to the Devil. I mean, if you perform some ritual to summon up ol’ scratch, and he actually appears…to me, that would just be incentive not to sell. If there’s a Devil and a Hell, it stands to reason that there’s a Heaven as well. And if I don’t sell to the devil, I may have a crappy life, but I could still spend eternity in Heaven.
Buying souls, on the other hand…that I can see.
IIRC, she, the Devil that is, refines them in a centerfuge and uses the lighter elements as fuel for her überhot-rod. The heavier elements are cast into sabots which she fires from the cannon mounted on her ride. The medium density elements are the best known fertilizer for black roses.
Oh, wait! I’m sorry. That’s what Diane Feinstein does with the souls she devours. I don’t know what the devil does with 'em.
Have you thought about remortgaging?
Interest rates are really nice now.
Just a thought
First, the evil power of choice has to issue a purchase order. No sale without a PO.
Once the PO is cut, a capital requisition form has to be filed on triplicate.
The contract must be reviewed by at least 13 lawyers. This could take time.
The SAC (Souls Acquisition Committee) has to have a say before the final contract is signed.
Somewhere along the way, a couple of rubber stamps and a stamp pad soaked in your own blood come in to play.
The bottom line is that it’s a lot more bureaucratic falderal than I’d want to go through …
Just make sure nothing else is hanging around. Perhaps bring a shotgun or something just incase the dead are restless?
Well, according to the book ‘Pacts With the Devil’, Satan doesn’t make deals for souls. Apparently he would rather have offerings of meat, tobacco, or the chance to possess your body and engage in sex.
It also makes this point: Why would any demon make a pact for your soul? After all, if your going to make deals with them for any reason, don’t they own it all ready?
No they don’t. I can always repent.
This is a little off-topic, but does anyone remember that episode of The Real Ghostbusters where a slightly off-kilter man summoned up a demon, and sold him his soul in exchange for…ridding the world of Chickens?
As I recall, the demon in question actually hired the Ghostbusters himself to find a way to break the curse…because all the other demons were making fun of him.
Of course, the only reason to sell your soul is for titties and beer.
If you’re looking for talent and skill, ala Robert Johnson (see above), you’re supposed to meet the Devil at the Crossroads at night.
But originally, this wasn’t the Devil, nor were you selling your soul.
You would stay all night, till sunrise, at a crossroads, for nine straight nights. On the ninth night/early morning, you would be approached by a large black (literally) man. If you didn’t get scared and run away, you would give him your musical instrument, tool or whatever. He would play/tune/swing it around a bit and then give it back to you, whereupon you would be a master of that tool.
I believe it’s African/Carribean in origin.
I wrote a paper on Satanism recently, here’s e excerpt from it:
As the Christian tradition developed, the notion arose that magicians and diviners performed their amazing feats with some sort of supernatural aid. Since they were obviously not working with God, they, therefore must be working with Satan or demons. This is first suggested by Church fathers such as Origen and later fully developed by Augustine. Aquinas, who would become the official theologian of the Catholic churches, re-affirms this in “Sententiae” where he states that magicians perform miracles through personal contracts with demons. (Lewis 2001, 203) This is the root of the best known legend of Satan; selling one’s soul in exchange for worldly riches and power.
This is exemplified in a legend from the sixth century of the C.E. as told by Rosemary Guiley in Encyclopedia of Witches and Witchcraft (1999). Theophilius was a monk from northern Cicilia. He was modest and when offered a bishop’s position, he declined because he felt he was not up to the job. The man who took the job, however, found strange delight in tormenting Theophilius even bringing charges of sorcery against him. Theophilius, therefore, lost his job. Theophilius wanted revenge and therefore went to see Salatin, an “evil old Jew.” Salatin called up Satan who offered Theophilius revenge in exchange for his soul. Theophilius agreed and signed a pact with Satan in his own blood. Theophilius got his revenge. The man who charged him was thrown out of office and Theophilius was installed in his stead. But Theophilius was not happy. He worried about his fate of eternity in torment. He began to pray to the Virgin Mary and God for his salvation. God forgave Theophilius, much to his delight. Theophilius made a public confession and burned the pact. He lived the rest of his life piously and in peace (Guiley 1999, 329).
Lewis (2001, 88) and Guiley (1999, 122) both note that this legend is the basis for the various stories about Faust. The legend of Faust is based upon a real person, Dr. George Faustus, a German who lived circa 1480 to 1539 (or 1540). What is fact and what is fiction in his life is unclear. It is believed he was one of the charlatan magicians who, during the Renaissance, traveled around Europe, entertaining at fairs and royal courts. Stories circulated that he had sold his soul for his amazing magical powers. These stories contained many of the pact-with-the-devil elements that were popular during the Renaissance: youth, the seduction of young women and fine food and wines. According to one story, when the contract was up, the Devil came to collect Faust’s soul. The story goes, after midnight one night a terrible wind wailed around Faust’s house. Neighbors could hear his cries for help, but no one went to aide him. The next day, they found his twisted body outside in a pile of dung. In his house, his blood, brains and teeth were splattered across the walls (Guiley 1999, 123).
References:
Lewis, James R. “Satanism Today: An Encyclopedia of Religion, Folklore and Popular Culture” 2001.
Guiley, Rosemary Ellen “Encyclopedia of Witches and Witchcraft 2nd Ed.” 1999.
I went to the one person who knows about these things. This site can give you all the info you’ll need!
According to the site, it’s a win-win situation and you should jump at the chance!
Hmmm, looks like selling my soul might cause a bit of a mess in my home. I don’t know if my folks would like blood and teeth and brains all over the room.
But what if I sell my soul and ask, among other things, for eternal life? I’d be able to outsmart the Devil! Mwahahahahahaha!
WRS
Nah, he’d just frame you for murder and you’d get life in prison. That’s standard text book soul-selling irony.
Haw Haw Haw
If you have a Soul, then you already have ‘eternal life’.
So rather than ‘outsmarting the Devil’, you’re outsmarting yourself. You’re signing yourself into eternal servitude and the Devil doesn’t have to give you anything in return.
Perhaps you’d be better off visiting the Wizard of Oz. He can give you what you already have too, and it won’t cost you your soul.
Damn Hamsters stop responding when I do a quote. Either that or the Devil doesn’t want me revealing a secret.
If you have a Soul, then you already have ‘eternal life’.
So rather than ‘outsmarting the Devil’, you’re outsmarting yourself. You’re signing yourself into eternal servitude and the Devil doesn’t have to give you anything in return.
Perhaps you’d be better off visiting the Wizard of Oz.
Damn Hamsters stop responding when I do a quote. Either that or the Devil doesn’t want me revealing a secret.
If you have a Soul, then you already have ‘eternal life’.
So rather than ‘outsmarting the Devil’, you’re outsmarting yourself. You’re signing yourself into eternal servitude and the Devil doesn’t have to give you anything in return.
Perhaps you’d be better off visiting the Wizard of Oz.
As a teenager, I bought several of my friends souls just because that’s the kind of twisted youth I was. The typical price was $10, sometimes lower if person was particularly desperate for the cash to buy the latest Spiderman or whatever the glittery mammon of the week was.
As you might expect, the reaction to “wanna sell me your soul?” was sharply divided, either “sure, what’s it worth to you?” or “that is the SICKEST thing I’ve ever heard of!” I think I enjoyed getting the second reaction a lot more than a successful acquisition.
Still have the signed docs around somewhere.
I sold my soul to a friend. As a soulless atheist, I was getting something for nothing, even if I only got a dollar. I wanted to sign in blood, but the buyer considered it unsanitary. Other folks said “You idiot, you should have held out for riches, or power, or at least a sports car,” but no one has ever offered me that for my soul.
I got a lot of ribbing afterwards, like “Having trouble dancing now that you’ve got no soul?” I was amused.
I love the Jack Chick tract linked by lost4life. It really is a win-win situation, and folks who traffic with the devil are apparently a lot smarter than those who consider their soul precious!