How would one sell one’s soul to another Power in return for wishes granted/material progress/money/etc.?
I’m assuming eBay doesn’t allow one to sell one’s soul. I’m also assuming that God, Satan, and Their various angelic legions do not bid on eBay, at least not for souls.
Any way to make such an arrangement legally binding?
(Disclaimer: this is in curious jest. I do not plan to sell my soul, as it’s spoken for. But I’m curious nonetheless. Please do not condemn me to the utter fiery depths of hell for consorting with the Devil. Especially since I’d never “consort” with him anyway. I’m not into S&M.)
Generally, the Devil has to be in the mood to buy. Often times (see “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”, “The Devil and Daniel Webster”) he (the Deveil is usually a he) will pay a special visit to you.
Don’t be too anxious to sell. The Devil is pretty flexible in negotiations (see the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 4 or the Gospel of Luke, Chapter 4) and is willing to improve on his first offer to close the deal.
Above all, be sure to insist on an escape clause (see “Damn Yankees”) For someone who’s been doing this a long time, the Devil tends to be a sucker for escape clauses, although exercising the clause may prove to be humiliating for you.
You can go to a crossroads, like in that movie, and get mega-blues powers. But I think Faust was the first story where the devil actually bought a soul. Before that, people just became evil on their own, and their souls went to ol’ Lucy by default.
Well of course not silly. They have their own web page.
Sell your soul through this site! I get the spotters fee: In return for the additional corruption of other people, for every one damned and dead that I am responsible for directly, I shall have my life prolonged in health for another two years and a day. http://www.necronomi.com/projects/666/
First, you need to send me your name, address, telephone number, social security number, mothers maiden name, and your bank acount information to dreadcthulhu@hotmail.com . Then we can start talking business.
I’m close personal friends with the Lord of Darkness, and we have a mutual agreement not to do business with each other because it might threaten our special relationship. We do have sex though.
Sinungaling was partly right. I only know how to sell your soul for fantastic musical ability and fame (e.g. Robert Johnson*) You have to go down to the crossroads in Clarksville, Mississippi** around midnight with your guitar and just wait. A big black man will come up, take it out of your hands, tune it up and play a little. He’ll then hand it back to you and you’ll have talent and fame beyond your wildest dreams.
The rumor was that Robert Johnson was a terrible blues man, so bad that he would be boo-ed off stage. He disappeared for awhile and when he came back he rocked everybody’s world. Everyone assumed he sold his soul.
**Not 100% sure about this one.
Don’t you dare ask for a cite either. I’m too lazy.
One night in high school, I took a pocketful of change to downtown Chapel Hill and bought half a dozen souls on the cheap. I just had people raise their right hand and vow to sell their soul to me now and forevermore, and then I gave them a nickel (or a dime, or even a quarter if they were shrewd negotiators).
I’m not currently buying, but my advice to people looking to gain souls is to contact your local punks. They’ll likely be only too happy to sell theirs to you.
There are two additions I wish I’d had:
A book in which they could sign their name with a pen loaded with disappearing ink; and
Mini candy bars. In terms of panache, you simply can’t beat purchasing someone’s immortal soul with a fun-size Milky Way.
Before you sell your soul visit a pawn shop and see what they’ll give you for it. That way you can get it back later.
If you do decide to sell, make sure you check the blue book value first. Have your soul tuned and rotate your chakras, and definitely get your emotional coolant flushed and refilled. You’ll get more for it in the long run.
I understand that reciting the Lord’s Prayer backwards at midnight under a full moon in a cursed place (abandoned graveyards, old battlefields, places with names like “Axe Murder Hollow”, etc.) is a good way of summoning the Dark Lord. After that, it’s just a matter of negotiation.
Actually, the whole exchange seems like a bad deal… for Satan!
After all, if I’m the type of guy who’d sell his soul for riches or power, it’s pretty clear that all Satan has to do is wait for me to die of natural causes, and he’ll have my soul for all eternity, gratis! Why would he pay me for what he’s going to get anyway?
I would wonder why he’d even want my soul. It doesn’t have any real uses AFAIK. What does the devil do with souls anyways? Stack them? Polish them and keep them in display cases? Brag about them in front of other demonic entities? Go to soul-swap-meets? Seems rather pointless to me.
Then again, so far he hasn’t asked. Maybe he was thinking along the same lines.
