I have a sore back and want a massage. There is a place nearby that offers ‘Full Body Sensuous Massage’ from someone who has real massage training as well. What that would be like? Does ‘guarantee satisfaction’ mean that there is a happy ending? Do I need to ask for that (or say no for that matter)? The website looks semi-legit. Is manual stimulation to release against the law in most states, or is it OK as long as there is no mouth/anal/vaginal contact?
While I am asking embarrassing questions, what is up with all the Tantric massage offerings? Is that just a guilt-free way to pay for sex?
I once dated a girl who worked as a receptionist at massage parlor, if potential clients asked if they could get a sport massage, she was instructed too answer with" we do provide sport massages, but a manual climax is included in the price(" handmatige hoogte punt" in Dutch)
**[When Ted gets his genitals stuck in the zippers]
Charlie Jensen: Is it the frank or the beans?
Ted: I don’t know, both I guess.
Warren: [from outside] Franks and Beans! Franks and Beans! **
What? I think handjobs are extremely therapeutic. And even if they’re not a prescribed treatment for a given ailment, I would still elect for it as a cautionary measure.
That sort of place will likely offer a happy ending. They may well be discreet, rubbing you in a sensous manner and see if you respond. Or they may simply ask for cash for service. More likely the 1st. In the 2nd case, the massage- if it occurs- will be crappy.
They are of doubtful legality, in some juristicions they have to offer sex for money to be arrested. They will rarely do that, and a hand job may or may not be “sex”, ( but likely is.) **ianal. **But in many areas, simple manual stimulation will not bring the law down upon them, it is winked at as it is sorta grey.
If you want your back fixed and no hanky-panky at all, tyr “theraputic massage” or a Chiroprators office, where massage is also performed.
A man is diagnosed with a rare prostate disorder. His doctor says he’ll have to beat off every day to avoid a painful and debilitating semen buildup. As he’s leaving the doctor’s office, he notices, through a slightly-ajar door, another man of about his age who’s receiving a blowjob from a beautiful nurse. He goes back to ask his doctor about it.
The doctor shrugs and says, “Mr. Jenkins has the same diagnosis you do, but a better health insurance plan.”
