Monstro, when I wrote that post it was broken up into paragraphs, I forgot to use the double space after each paragraph and when I do that it runs them together.
Stop trying so hard to ‘sound smart’! You have spoken very plainly here and are seeing better results for having done so. This crowd often shy to affectation and that which comes off as less than authentic.
Framing questions with nuance figures to take a little time. We’ve all been there. Just keep swinging, you’ll get better at it. But there is never really any chance of insuring the discussion takes off in the direction you’d have thought. Nothing stops you from taking another shot at it. Just speak directly and plainly to what you want to discuss. Don’t plant seeds, spell out what you are looking for. Openness to learning you know less than you think has helped me a lot.
I feel you’re being too hard on yourself, it’s just a message board, it’s really not so bad. Most all of us got off to shaky starts, you’ll be fine, truly.
I am impressed with the seriousness of the OP. Framing questions isn’t easy. Note also that only a narrow minority of threads settle anything, even remotely.
I’ll add another trick: try composing your OP on a word processor. Then wait a day, so that you can read it again with fresh eyes. Think about how another person might perceive it.
This strikes me as a very difficult question to frame. And frankly I suspect that research on the question, “What gets people hot and why”, is at the very preliminary stages. Then again, we have 2 porn producers (Stoid and somebody whose username I would mangle) on the board who might have some insight into the issue. Some of the creative writers here might also have a thing or two to say.
I don’t think there is any rhyme or reason why some threads thrive and others bomb. It depends on the time of the week, the posters online, and if anyone cares about the topic. Sometimes I’ve started threads that seem to have died, but if I bump it once, for some reason it takes off.
It does seem however that the title may have not attracted some who might be interested in the broader subject. I’m not so interested in reading a thread in which a bunch of people share what they find or do not find to be erotic, thanks anyway. OTOH I would find a discussion exploring why certain cultures and genders and orientations and individuals find certain things erotic, how much seems to be true across cultures and history and what does not, to be interesting (especially because I am so ignorant about it). The latter seems to be what the intent actually was.
Again, I mostly post bombs so don’t listen to my advice.
Why not just write the posts or questions you want to write and who gives a damn what other people think? 
Because many who create ops want others to participate in an actual discussion. If my title or op does not appeal to the interests of others, or annoys or insults, then the discussion I am interested in reading and particpating in will be less likely to occur.
I honestly appreciate all the responses. I feel a bit more normal . I think I will just spend a bit more time formulating a title and then read it over a few times before I actually post it.
Don’t worry about it HoneyBadgerDC from one high school drop out knuckle dragger to another, don’t let others get to you about the minor issues, such as grammar & spelling. This place has made me more cognisant of that of course, and I feel it’s improved over all.
But if you can convey a thought properly and if some people still go after piddly issues like that, it shows me that a persons is intellectually lazy when they go after that lowest common denominator. TThese people generally disagree with what your saying but instead of saying why, they’ll point out that your grammar is bad, “But your wrong and I’m too lazy to expound on it so I’ll take the easy way out”
The SD can be a strange place. I’ve learned it’s quite ok to make fun of a persons lack of education here. But make fun of their choice of education, and that’s a no-no.
Just because someone has an advanced education doesn’t make a person smart. For the dicks in advance who will take the har har joy in pointing out that parts of this post has boo-boos.
Go fuck yourselves.
Sincerely.
I liked your porn thread. Without sounding creepy, I do genuinely find it interesting to hear about what porn other people are interested in.
Then again, I’m not a really great poster either. I try my best.
Like everyone else in this thread I totally suck at everything in life too.
This is really true. I find myself thinking of an interesting question (What percentage of white people are part black?) and when I start writing it, I get more and more involved in how to frame it so that there’s not some obvious-but-trivial answer that doesn’t get at the meat of the question.
So in general what I do is, I make my best effort in the OP, but then I open it up to other folks, more knowledgeable than myself, to reframe the question. Like this, or Like this. Do your best, and also acknowledge your ignorance. It’s what I do, anyway.
Yeah well…mine sink faster than that. And it’s even more tragic because they usually die alone. If there IS a post #2 it’s a mod explaining why they’re chaining & locking it up and tossing it into the abyss. As if it matters. Pretty sure >50% of the posters here have hit the ignore button on me anyway.
That’s one thing you don’t really have to worry about. Most people on the Dope say that ignoring people is bad for some reason. Apparently it shows a lack of character not to just be able to scroll down past a post you don’t like.
If I’ve not been put on ignore, I’m pretty sure you haven’t.
The above two statements don’t seem to go together. Did you leave out (or insert) a not?
Do you mean to say most Dopers say ignoring people is good? Or do you mean to say it apparently shows lack of character to scroll past a post you don’t like?
By “ignore”, BigT and The Great Sun Jester are referring to the User CP setting that allows you to block the posts from specified users so that the just show up as a single line that tells you there is an ignored post there (which you can view by clicking on a link in the line). On some other boards, ignore can be helpful if the poster has all kinds of annoying decoration (e.g., garish sig line and/or avatar) but here that is less of an issue.
High expectations? What board are you reading? Around here we have talked about pan-fried semen, fer Og’s sake!
Relax.
I joined the SDMB around the time I dropped out of college. I think I did a web search for someone to “explain everything to me,” and found the Straight Dope. It’s not college, but I have learned things here.
In an educational context, it is far better (and I learned this in college) to open your mouth and be seen as ignorant–and be corrected–than to keep your mouth shut and have people think you know stuff you don’t.
Do not worry about your grammar or sentence structure as the reader’s mind has the ability to Ferret out your meaning. If somebody does eventually attack your grammatical style it will be because they have run out of argumentative ammo and are shooting blanks to sway you of course.
This thread has actually helped me considerably in posting. A little bit about confidence and a lot about just thinking harder about how to post a thread.