Nonsense. For parent it is the first definition.
“nurtures or raises a child”
No, the words that fit those relationships best are whatever accurately describes the biological relationships between the child and the adult caregiver. If the caregiver gave birth to the child, then mother is appropriate. If someone else gave birth to the child then use whatever term is the truth, is the person an aunt, a cousin, a sister, a godmother, or a guardian, etcl. Only a twisted, vile, baby-stealing, family destroying adoption fanatic would insist that the only way a child grows up happy is to have someone to call mother or father. Hell, a lot of those adopted serial killers called their adopters mommy and daddy, and we all know how well they turned out. Personally, you’re one of the sickiest, grotesque caricature of a human being I’ve ever encountered (and I’ve drank with ethnic cleansing paramilitary), you actually think there is nothing wrong with raising children on lies.
Nope. The words that fit those relationships best are whatever the members of the relationship choose, and reflect the type of relationship (including love, affection, care, discipline, protection, etc.) that exists. Biology is not the only definition of parent-child relationship out here in the modern, non-barbaric, non-lunatic world.
Nope. The words that fit those relationships best are whatever the members of the relationship choose, and reflect the type of relationship (including love, affection, care, discipline, protection, etc.) that exists. Biology is not the only definition of parent-child relationship out here in the modern, non-barbaric, non-lunatic world. (just in case you didn’t catch that the first time)
Au contraire, my fine feathered fuckwit. I’m not the one insisting on anything. I’m allowing parents and children of all types to define their relationships as they see fit. You’re the one who’s attempting to force everyone into a mold that only exists in your fevered fears.
Because adopted serial killers called their adoptive parents mother and father means…what? Only in crazyland does this statement have any meaning whatsoever.
As an adoptee, I hereby certify that the above statement is UTTER bullshit.
You totally didn’t answer my question. Let me put it another way. If the parents of a 10 year old kid suddenly finds out that their kid was switched at birth with another, do those parents have a duty to tell the kid to stop calling them Mom and Dad, even though that is all the child has ever known? Because you keep twisting this around to talk about children raised by siblings, aunts and uncles, or grandparents. Calling those relatives by their normal titles may be appropriate. But what of the kids who only know their adoptive family as their family? Most adopted children have no biological relatives able to care for them - if it weren’t for their non-biologically related adoptive parents they would have nobody. These children are not stolen away from their birth parents, they are given up willingly. There is a difference.
Also, I don’t need a DNA test to have proof that my parents are my parents. I have proof of that every time I speak to them - there is a bond of love between us and no test could prove that wrong. They have always been there for me - they are my Mom and Dad no matter what the biology says. Why should I be interested in denying adopted children that same sense of belonging?
You do realize that the vast majority of serial killers were not adopted, right?
Read about Kimberly Mays.
Yeah, I remember that story. The whole thing is extremely sad (and complex), but I don’t see anything to suggest that forbidding her to call her adoptive parents Mom and Dad would have helped anything.
It’s a given that this is a very sad case (I remember it). However, ALSO given that Kimberly Mays was not adopted, but accidentally switched with another child at birth, this case isn’t really relevant to the discussion of adoption, is it? The Mays thought they were raising their own, biological child. There was no “evil kidnappers forcing” Kimberly to call her parents Mom and Dad, since for all anybody knew in the situation, Kimberly WAS the biological offspring of the Mays.
What’s fucking EVIL about that case is that people like ZPG got their wish - a happy child, raised by loving parents who did not happen to be biologically related to her, was almost taken from the only home and the only safe, caring, protective parental relationship she’d ever known, and given to strangers who just happened to be biologically related to her.
Yeah, it is. It’s beyond bullshit…it’s just way into bizarroland territory. ZPG has no ability to conceptualize anything we’re talking about. Whether that’s because the way she was raised turned HER into a sociopath, like she accuses other people of doing to their kids, or whether her culture operates under a completely opposite type of value system than ours does, or whether she’s just a naturally disassociated person, I don’t know. It’s just really, really weird.
I think I got a little bit of insight into her mindset when she pulled out the “love is not important to raise a child.” And you hit it on the head - sociopath.
She has no emotional feelings of attachment toward others, and therefore assumes that others have no emotional feelings of attachment, either.
That’s why, in her mind, it’s so easy for her to conceptualize a “family” situation in which one child (adopted) calls his or her caregivers “Mr. and Mrs. ” and the other child (biological) calls the caregivers “Mom and Dad,” and literally cannot see the possibility of emotional harm or damage. Because SHE, personally, has never felt attachment, others don’t feel it either, so names and words are meaningless when it comes to relationships.
Which doesn’t make her any less of a fucknugget.
Yup, still weird. 
I have no cite, but I’m willing to bet a large number of the non-adopted serial killers also called their parents “mommy and daddy”.
And that an even larger number of both adopted, and non-adopted, non-serial killers also called their parents “mommy and daddy”.
Pffft. Get the hell outta here with your “facts” and “statistics.” Don’t you know that adopters are lurking in bushes RIGHT NOW to steal children away from biological parents and torture those children?!?
The theft isn’t that bad, it forcing them to call thir captors “mommy” and “daddy” that is truly terrifying.
I think several people are missing sight of what this thread is really doing: It’s giving us a convenient list of which dopers were adopted, so we know who not to turn our backs on.
I know! How scarring and damaging, emotionally, to call the people who care for you, love you, protect you, provide you with discipline and support, and in all ways act like a good parent “mommy and daddy!”
Hitler himself wouldn’t be so cruel.
Yea, I went there. Wanna make something of it?
Not to mention they drag you around letting all of their friends take turns shaking your hand…
But if you meet someone who calls his parents Mr. and Mrs. Smith, you know you definitely have a nice, normal non-serial killer on your hands. Yup, nothing odd about that at all!
The annoying thing for me in this thread is there are some interesting things to discuss if they werent being talked about at such hyper-ridiculous levels. There are aspects of adoption systems that are a concern, is it a given that mum and dad are the best titles, what is the best way to discuss adoption with a child, are there better ways to manage children given up or removed, etc etc.
But theres no chance of it being discussed rationally with the level of lunacy currently occurring.
Otara
It would probably be best not to discuss them in the pit, to be honest. The lunatics have free rein here.