Sex...or Q-tips?

A simple, if not a bit silly, poll. A friend of mine recently suggested that perhaps the only thing better than sex was a well-placed Q-tip. I looked at her like she was crazy, as is the custom, but she insisted that Q-tips are some sort of magical godsend. And then she basically dared me to ask strangers to prove that she was right.

So. Is it possible, my fellow Dopers, the any of you find a Q-tip to be sex-like in its pleasure-giving capabilities?

Eargasm: The euphoric feeling that arises when you clean your ear with a cotton swab or Q-tip.

I get my eargasm every day, but sex is still better.

I’ve never gotten head from a Q-tip.

:confused: I may regret asking this, but how is your friend using her Q-tips?

It’s satisfying to see a mass of dark yellow ear wax on the end of the thing - because I’ve gotten that stuff out of my ear - but I don’t consider the sensation of rubbing a cotton swab inside my ear pleasurable.

Sex is so much better than q-tips that this shouldn’t even be a question. Unless, of course, you guys are doing something different with the q-tips than I am and I don’t know about the wonders of this new q-tip phenomenon.

3 of the Google hits I got when I typed in “masturbation q-tip” were about frigging female cats in heat with one (presumably to calm them down). No further comment.

I notice a distinct lack of mention of ears in the OP. Perhaps this girl is paving new paths for future generations to use q-tips?

If Q-tips are better… man oh man is she doing the “sex” bit wrong.

This sounds vaguely like an old chestnut that supposedly proves women get more out of sex than men… “when you swab your ear with a Q-tip, what feels better, your ear or the Q-tip?” I think your friend heard this and then got the take-away point completely wrong.

I find that, after a shower, drying my ears out with a Q-tip is very pleasurable. I sometimes makes a sighing noise, and feel sexual arousal when I do it. I’ve come to the conclusion that I simply have very sensitive ear canals, and should someone ever elect to stick their tongue in there during sex, I’d be a happy woman.

But no, it’s not on the level of sex, or masturbation.

That is a wildly stupid comparision. Q-tips, from what I understand, lack nerve endings.

There is nothing - NOTHING - better than sex. Not chocolate, not a fantastic steak, and most definitely not a Q-Tip. :smiley:

I enjoy a good ear cleaning (though not more than sex). I think it was on the Dope that I read about someone’s childhood in an Asian country that had her getting her ears cleaned by her mother with a tiny spoon. Sounded heavenly.

ETA ‘Sex’ is a bit vague. Some guys swear that sex is like pizza, even pretty good when it’s bad, but I’m not sure most women would agree. A good back scratch is better than bad sex. Mild stomach flu is better than bad sex. Good sex is better than getting a job promotion while swimming with baby dolphins half drunk in the Carribbean.

I voted that sex is better, but I have previously gotten some odd looks from friends for maintaining that “good croutons are better than bad sex.”

Pretty much this. I’ll grant you a Q-Tip in the ear is better than bad sex, but not by much.

Now, I was always told it was really dangerous to stick a Q-tip or anything else in your ear. How far in do you go when cleaning your ear?

I hate the feeling of anything in my ear. It’s oogy. And I never use Q-tips. I just wash my ears out with soap in the shower.

I voted for ______ is better. Being tickled. Not like tickled till you puke. I mean like when someone lightly rolls their fingers against your back or butt or legs–it feels SO good. Or scalp. AHHHHHH SCALPGASM.

Oooh, good call. I can get behind that one.

Please speak up, I can’t hear you.