Sex Question for Women

Factual Questions
1

This is actually a real question, with some rather intimate details, so please bear with me.

I recently met a wonderful woman and we have started to become intimate. The sex - emotionally and physically - is great. However, my girlfriend has said on a few occasions that she has felt some pain when I go deep inside of her. I am pretty much normal size - no other girlfriend save one has ever mentioned pain before.

BUT here’s the deal - she has said that sometimes the pain is nice and sometimes not so nice. It does seem like she gets pleasure sometimes from “the hurt”, but other times I can tell it’s bad and a hindrance on her road to the big O. Though frankly it’s hard to know what I’m doing that makes “the hurt” bad or good.

So my questions are (for women):
a) What’s the deal with the good “hurt”? And how does it differ from the bad?
b) Are there any positions that would enable deep penetration without any “hurt” whatsoever?
c) Would slow, deep penetration lessen/eliminate “the hurt”?
d) And how can we have knee-knocking sex without the bad “hurt” (but maybe with the good)?

I know that a lot of this will be worked out in the process of getting to know each other’s minds and bodies (which I’m completely looking forward to), but I’m also curious about a woman’s point of view and the physical aspects. And I’d like an unbiased and objective perspective. Plus, I’m not really comfortable asking my female friends or relatives. So I thought perhaps some insightful female Dopers could help.

Thanks in advance for any helpful thoughts. And sorry if the personal details are embarrassing to anyone - though I doubt any more so than to me.

  • Leander
2

WAG…You are probably bumping her cervix.
Can’t help you with the other questions…every woman is different.

3

I’m not a woman, so all I can say is different strokes for different folks.
Sorry.

4

I have the same problem with very deep penetration (doggy style) and it helps if the strokes are not so deep. Misssionary is less painful than doggy style.

I also suspect it might have to do with my cycles, though I can’t be sure. It hurts most when I’m ovulating.

5

here goes.
a) the bad hurt HURTS. SORE. NOT FUN.
the good hurt is a sort of “full up” and stretched feeling. more uncomfortable than painful.

b) depends on how you’re both built. seriously.
doggy is usually good for me, girl-on-top isn’t great.
spooning could work, or straight missionary. you just have to work out what works.

c)it might. but what would work better is varying the amount of foreplay. not enough and it’s not so great (obviously) and too much and her muscles will have started to contract for the big O…
if in doubt, get her off first, and THEN go for it…hopefully again! works for me :slight_smile:

d) keep trying. trust me. it’ll get easier on her…the more you do it, the sooner that will be.

6

not a girl, but a former GF had endemetriosis (sp?) which caused her some pain in general, and oddly enough, caused her to not like doggy style because it wasn’t that comfortable for her.

Has she been to an OB/Gyn lately?

7

Thanks much for all your advice. And support. I really appreciate it. Will definitely try some of those things.

8

I think the women on top position would be best, she could control how deep penetration was,:eek:

9

It is related to cycle time. At ovulation the cervix drops a little (IIRC). So what may be pleasant pressure a week before becomes bruised cervix.

Try a book called “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” for details.

One of my girlfriends ended up at the doctor for a bruised cervix.

10

I’d guess you were hitting her cervix.
Going along with that assumption…

a) Good hurt feels more good than hurt… How do you describe pleasure feeling better than pain? :confused:

b) If you are hitting her cervix, then the chances are any deep penetration position is going to be uncomfortable for her.

c) Worth a try, if you aren’t hitting it that hard, it might not hurt so much.

d) Experiment

Most of this stuff is gonna be different for every girlie, and only experimentation is going to give you an answer. I suggest you two have an early night and play. :wink:

11

Hey, thanks a lot for all the great suggestions. Of course, I think my favorite is to just keep trying and experiment. Lots and lots to look forward to…:slight_smile: