I thought the phrase “slime ball” was good enough to describe men who sexually assault women, but I’m open to other terms like "dick head " or “fuckwad” if that will help.
“Registered sexual offender” has a good ring to it.
Different consequences by definition means different rules apply. Not everything should be a professional death sentence.
Women touch me all the time when they are talking to me (they touch my hand or adjust my tie or slap my chest as they laugh if I say something funny), guys slap me on the back or put their arm over my shoulder. In some countries guys kiss you or hold your hand.
At a recent holiday party I saw a guy with a Christmas tie that played Christmas carols if you pulled on it. He was pretty jazzed about the tie and asked a coworker to pull on his tie, Frosty started playing and then a woman said it was inappropriate to ask a female coworker to pull on his tie. Both the guy with the tie and the coworker seemed shamed. Was the guy harassing his coworker when he said “pull my tie?” Lets say it was very clear there was no possible romantic interest on the part of the female co-worker. Should he have to attend anti-harassment training?
public urination can get you that ring in some states.
No.
Sexual harassment.
Sexual assault.
Assault.
I’m sorry and angry that your environment is not validating your concerns. It’s shitty no matter who it happens to.
This is not quite but almost completely untrue.
As a woman (Did the screen name give me away?) who’s been sexually assaulted, let me say that I understand the OP’s stand and think it carries some weight. To clarify without going into the horrifying details, I was sexual assaulted by a stranger: held forcibly for some time despite screams and struggles, molested but not raped, and in genuine fear for my life. That is not rape, but it’s a hell of a lot worse than a coworker’s hand on my ass, which I’ve also experienced and which is also wrong. To me, the hand-on-ass thing is the moral equivalent of a misdemeanor: forcibly restraining someone and molesting all her most intimate areas is the moral equivalent of a felony.
Maybe the confusion comes from the differences between the legal definitions of assault and sexual assault. Assault generally requires force or the threat of force, whereas sexual assault simply requires unwanted touching.
I think “forcible sexual assault” might be a useful phrase to distinguish between rape/attempted rape/attack-and-molestation and inappropriate and unwanted sexual contact that does not include force, but I suppose that’s controversial, too.
I agree. Not everything should be a professional death sentence. Some things may turn out to be a Monday afternoon sensitivity training seminar in HR.
Well, you’re a stud and some may be flirting with you. Does it threaten you or make you uncomfortable? No? Awesome. Go you.
He should have to attend fashion awareness training.
And most states have degrees of sexual assault that move from some sort of misdemeanor (grabbing a woman’s ass) to felony. If you are taking about the legal thing.
If you are talking about the casual talking thing - most sane women do not scream sexual assault if you tap them on the shoulder or touch their arm. They may have cultural or germophobic reasons why they don’t want to shake your hand, but they just leave theirs by their side - its awkward, but unless you are grabbing her hand, you are fine. If your hug does not involve hands on her ass or your tongue in her ear, you are probably fine (although hugs at work really need to be truly reciprocal - when in doubt, ask or just don’t). They don’t scream sexual assault if you brush against them in the elevator or the subway accidentally - as people tend to do in crowds - they do when your erection is pressed into their ass the whole ride home.
A lot of states no longer use the word rape in their laws; instead they have sexual assault: 1st degree, 2nd degree, 3rd degree, 4th degree and sometimes 5th degree.
Thanks for this thoughtful and honest post and allow me to offer a (belated) welcome to the boards. I would love for this stuff to never happen to anyone again.
I was addressing the OP’s concern that the term “sexual assault” in general discourse covers too broad range of severity in unwanted sexual behavior. I agree that it does. I didn’t concern myself practical considerations such as how “sane” women react to handshakes or the difference between accidental and deliberate contact, so I assume that part of your post was directed toward someone else.
It was. Its because it will come up here.
One time, I was working behind a bar on a busy Friday night and this woman (who was three hundred pounds if she was an ounce) clapped her hands on my cheeks, pulled me forward, planted a big sloppy kiss on my lips and said “I’m gonna ruin you after your shift”, before winking coquettishly and sashaying away (well, as coquettishly as a river pig with a face like a war crime can sashay). Everyone else behind the bar just burst out laughing. What degree of sexual assault would that be? Just so I have a frame of reference.
Pretty serious sexual assault. It’s not rape, and she didn’t get under your clothes, but she grabbed your ass and kissed you when you were not consenting.
I want to personally thank you for the gratuitous fat jokes. It really made the story much better. :rolleyes:
OK, every can it with the off color and personal comments. Let’s keep it on a debate level, people.
I was surprised to not find the term sexual battery from the same source that provided this clear explanation of non-sexual battery. That seems like a reasonable distinction from assault, with an added penalty for battery of a sexual nature. I found this portion particularly interested regarding intent:
Sorry, Al Franken, you were wayyyy over the line.
I had a boss who was a woman. She was pretty huggy. There would be hugs with staff (usually female) on a daily bais, a round of hugs with anyone going on a business trip (“safe travels”), etc. She also gave off plenty of vibes of “being available and interested.” She also blurred corporate and private lines. “Hey, take me to that bar you hang out at” and “come by my apartment and I’ll give you some local currency for your business trip to Slovakia.” Yes, pretty much on the up and up. That said, I am 99.9% confident that had I given any kind of reciprocal sign, it would have gotten extremely unprofessional in a matter of seconds.
I was and am still married, and was always extremely careful around her. And it wasn’t me. The other male colleagues that reported into her as country manager all traded notes and felt the same way.
No real point except it made me
a) uncomfortable
b) worried it would impact my job (and probably did)
c) almost paranoid careful
d) careful to avoid any appearance of impropriety or ulterior motives with other female colleagues (Aside: I learned *this *lesson in University.)
Your cite says that it can happen. So how is it almost completely untrue? AFAICT it might be something that rarely happens because judges don’t want it to happen but…
Thank you, Spice Weasel. That means a lot to me.