I was just wondering, is the eventual decline in the frequency of sex due to age, or due to how long the relationship has been going on.
For example, say two people get together when they are 25, and have sex on a daily basis. When they reach 30, they rarely have sex anymore. If they break up, will their libidos “reset,” resulting in them having sex on a daily basis once again with their next partner?
Typing rabbits. :eek:
I would say that would be biology. Nature doesn’t necessarily want us to be monogamous. It wants us out there, spreading the genes around.
Age generally affects libido (willingness, ability, or both) to different degrees for both sexes. The old canard is that 15-18 year old males are in their “sexual prime” and 30-35 year old women are also in their sexual prime (I could be off by a couple of years on those ages). So almost as soon as many men start getting some they are in the beginning of a long, steady decline. The rate of descent is going to depend on the man (and perhaps a bit on his partner). For women, perhaps they should drop their husbands around 30 and start dating high school guys, at least in terms of perfect sexual compatibility. Everyone’s mileage will vary on this, but that’s the bell curve. Of course, in some cases frequency can give way to quality and perhaps duration. I’m sure Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, etc., will throw off the curve.
Pre-marriage - hard to judge as we lived apart but whenever we could get it!
Post-marriage (tenyears on) - once or twice a month at most but he is away on average half the month and home very late on the days he is here. Add in complete exhaustion on both our parts and two boys who migrate to our bed every night, and the logistics of the thing are more than either of us can be bothered with.
Sad innit? We are still good friends though, and when we do get it together we enjoy it!
When I was young, I had a friend in her 60’s who had five children and were pillars of the local community. We went on a trip together and one one evening ended up chatting till late in the night. I was bemoaning current boyfriend’s inability to cuddle without it leading to a bonking session, and she immediately chimed in with her agreement. So, seeing as we were confiding, I asked her at 65 or so years old, how often they did it. “Oh well, when we were young we were at it like rabbits but now the frequency has gone right down and we only do it four or five nights a week.”
EEEK! Changed my views of them forever, in fact I still can’t look at him (now in his late 70’s) without wondering what he was up to last night!
So the joy can last, you know…
Shib, your argument, even if tongue-in-cheek, depends on the supposition that it’s the hormonally-declining man who’s applying the brakes. In my experience, it ain’t necessarily so. We’re managing two or three times a month, with nothing at all for the last six months of last year, and none of that has been my decision.
Before marriage? She wanted to wear white for her wedding. Also, the idea of oral turned her off (giving, at any rate). That which was left… maybe once or twice a week. So yes, there was room for it to get worse. :rolleyes:
It was more often like I imagine everyone is at first, but about two years of marriage into it and I’d say we are two or three times a week. Not that the desire isn’t there, its those other nagging things in life like work schedules and school for me, making time and energy rather limited. More would be better but sometimes you just have to make the best of what you have. And oral most definitely had better not die off!
I’m 39, my wife is 48. We’ve been seeing each other more or less exlusively for 4 years, and have been married for 4 months. The frequency has remained about the same (we actually tracked it for a month). On average, we have sex (hot, sweaty, marathon, wall shaking sex) - 1 time per day (as many as 5, and a brief stretch of two weeks where we had none (with each other)).
You guys and gals that do it almost every night…how is that possible!? Do you feel a strong desire or is it more out of habit? Physically I could do it I think, but mentally I just don’t want it every night. I don’t think I ever wanted it every night, even when I was in my late teens.
Roughly every other day, I could do it everyday, but I have a high sex drive. My poor hubby is content with every other day, so I guess it works for me too 
During the semester, 1-2 times a week (weekends, mainly). During breaks 3-4 times a week. This does not include the oral which is 2 times a week for him, but none for me 
. I’ve been hinting, I’ve moved on to nagging and I might get to bitching soon. But I don’t think that will improve my chances.
We are both in our mid-twenties, been together a year and living together for about 7 months. Keep in mind that we are both on anti-depressants which (funny enough) depresses the sex drive. Pre-Paxil it was more like once a day, school or not.
My husband and I have been together 13 years and married 7 1/2.
Our frequency varies on a monthly cycle. We spend three weeks making up for the week I am more or less out of service.
I will say that the quantity we enjoyed when we were younger has given way to some serious quality improvements over time with us being more comfortable with each other and our own bodies. I know what I like more now than when I was 19 and I am more confident telling him that now than I was at 19.
My ideal frequency is every other day, but we’ve learned to take advantage of whatever opportunities we can. Besides - having too much of a schedule makes things seem like work.
I think I have a fairly high sex drive, but life often gets in the way. My partner works construction, so he’s often tired or sore. I’ve also gained weight, which probably puts both of us off some. Finally, due to circumstances beyond our control, we’ve been living apart for a bit and have yet to get back into the swing of living together.
I would say we have sex every three days, though sometimes it varies wildly.
How do we do it? it’s more like how do we NOT do it! We both have strong sex drives and aren’t afraid or embarassed to act on them. We both are almost always up to getting in the mood even if we weren’t before. It’s a sort of loving openess to each others’ needs. In fact it’s quite RARE for us to be so tired, sad, etc that we Can’t get in the mood. Sex is good for what ail’s ya!
I was married for 14 years and the average was 4-5 times per week. I’m now with someone I love and the average is 5-6 times per week. I’m a 40 year-old, hetero, female if that matters.
Being the other half of this couple, I’d say that we pretty much are an exception to the rule. The average of 2x per day is about right, because we normally start out with 3 or 4 times per day for the first couple of days together, then taper off to 1 or 2 per day with extras. The only big hindrances to this are A) visiting his mother’s house and B) me being too sore to go ahead anyway.
Another part of it is that our sex drives are quite compatible. It’s rare that one of us wants sex more than the other, and, well, during this long distance portion of the relationship, I end up on a serotonin high for most of the visits we have due to all the sex. Better than chocolate, and a good source of exercise! ::grins::
The last SO and I did it at least twice a day; we averaged about four times a day, I’d say. Of course, we’re college kids, so we had lots of extra time for that kind of thing.
Oh, and I never would have said “bonus oral”- it was pretty much guaranteed preceeding the main event 
<sigh> When you consider how much I used to get, the current one-year self-imposed celibate period should really make you feel for me…
We are talking about having sex with other people, right?
Have you tried stopping? Declaring a moratorium on blowjobs until he reciprocates would probably be a lot more effective than nagging or bitching.
As for us…it’s something like 2-3 times a month. We’re almost never home at the same time, and when we are, one or both of us is usually exhausted.
If your SO is a horse or goat, I imagine you can still participate.
If you meant your hand, there’s a couple other threads for you 