Hello Everyone,
I am the owner of an incredibly high sex drive. I am in my mid 40’s (male) and I could have sex twice a day 6 or 7 times a week. My sex drive is enhanced by the fact that I am on TRT (Testerone Replacement Therapy) due to my testosterone production being killed of by long term narcotic pain killer use.
The discussion got started by my wife. She is wonderful and never complains. We have sex on average about 5 times a week, 4 on a slow week. I guess she was talking about the frequency with a co-worker and this co-worker (female) is now trying to convince her that this is not normal. That a schedule of every other night is more than enough and she is spoiling me.
Well, I have no desire to see a good thing ruined. No, I don’t think that my wife would let her co-worker influence our sex life, however she does seem convinced that we have sex way more than most couples in our 40’s. How about the rest of you? Does 5 or 6 times a week seem way out of the norm to most of you or right on the target? I think it is wonderful that my wife and I can enjoy each other so much and I feel that we are one of the “lucky” couples.
What the fuck is wrong with your wife’s coworker? What business is it of hers anyway? I would never even dream, upon being told someone’s details of someone’s sex life, of criticizing it (unless one was beating the other or something!) Normal is whatever you and your wife are both happy with. FTR, we probably have sex 5 or 6 times a week, too, and that’s just about right - there are days I don’t want any, but most days I do.
She is 'spoling" you? Maybe you’re spoiling her, did the coworker ever think of that? I mean, that’s jaw-droppingly idiotic. Some women like sex, amazingly enough, and it looks like your wife likes it if she wants to keep doing it.
Grrr.
ETA: We are in our mid-thirties. Ask us again in ten years.
There is no “normal”. What’s right for you and your wife is what’s right for the two of you. If you found out that you are the only couple on the face of the earth that has sex 2x/day, 7 times a week, and every other couple only has it every 4th Tuesday, under the covers and in the dark, would you curtail your own activities?
For what it’s worth, we are 44 and have it 3-5 times a week, not counting solo sessions. Is that “normal”? We don’t give a fuck.
Stoopid coworker. Go through her trash and find out how much carb she eats. Tell her that isn’t normal. Also, she shouldn’t be reading those women’s magazines, they give a distorted view of the body, it isn’t normal. Also, she should try to use cotton underwear, it’s better for you and if she doesn’t she is really not normal. And telling people their happy & healthy sex life isn’t normal…well, that’s just not normal.
FWIW I’m not 40 but have been in a relationship for 10 years now. We would have sex every day if we had the time. Which we usually don’t We tend to have very different schedules, which doesn’t make it easier. Also, at the moment there is the small matter of the North Sea separating us. So right now, 0x a week. Humpf. How normal is that?!
I agree 100% with you that it is what is “normal” for YOU. However I have a discussion now that I am trying to back up with anecdotal evidence from others. I agree with the first response, what the hell is with the co-worker putting her two cents in on how many times we have sex? Is she jealous? Does she hate sex? I can see the conversation happening, but why the hell would it bother her?
Almost (but not quite) remind me of the NOW organization’s view of consensual sex. They once released a statement (and no, I don’t have the cite) that ALL sex was rape, regardless if it was consensual or not.
But, I am curious as to the frequency of others. Not a pissing contest of any sort, just wondering as well how often sex is happening.
Trying to provide a direct answer to the OP’s question… I would guess that the average for married couples in their mid-40s is probably somewhere in the general vicinity of once a week. (I would also guess that the average is rather different for couples with kids living at home vs. without.)
I’ll see if I can’t dig it up. If I recall it wasn’t an announcment of policy of NOW, rather a statement made by one of the higher ups. I think it was Gloria Aldrich (I think that was her name, but I really don’t follow NOW, so I don’t know for sure)
Congratulations, you are having more sex than most of your peers!
Percentage of Men Reporting Frequency of Vaginal Sex, N=2396
Age group 40-49
Single
Not in past year: 48.9
A few times per year to monthly 18.4
A few times per month to weekly 22.4
2-3 times per week 8
4 or more times per week 2.3
Partnered
Not in past year 29.9
A few times per year to monthly 9.2
A few times per month to weekly 24.1
2-3 times per week 25.3
4 or more times per week 11.5
Married
Not in past year 9.1
A few times per year to monthly 16.2
A few times per month to weekly 51.0
2-3 times per week 26.8
4 or more times per week 3.7
Percentage of Women Reporting Frequency of Vaginal Sex, N=2393
Age group 40-49
Single
Not in past year: 71.1
A few times per year to monthly 16.9
A few times per month to weekly 9.9
2-3 times per week 2.1
4 or more times per week 0
Partnered
Not in past year 20.6
A few times per year to monthly 13.7
A few times per month to weekly 24.5
2-3 times per week 31.4
4 or more times per week 9.8
Married
Not in past year 8.1
A few times per year to monthly 21.7
A few times per month to weekly 46.6
2-3 times per week 20.8
4 or more times per week 2.7
Male, 34. I’d have sex once a day if I could. When I can’t, I take matters into my own hands. I feel that’s way down from 20 years ago when 5 times a day was normal. Sounds to me like your wife’s coworker is a little jealous that she gets the foaming pipe snake 5 times a week.
She’s only “spoiling” you if she wants sex less often and is willing to “take one for the team” on a regular basis to keep you in good spirits. Note, however, that this says nothing about the frequency of sex, if you have sex twice a week and once a week is TOFTT, it’s still an issue.
You do seem to have more sex than average, which is just as wrong as being taller than average, or having a longer commute than average, or reading more books than average.
The Mrs. and I are in your age range, and have sex about 3 times a week, depending on our overall energy level. We’d rather get sleep than force ourselves to have blah sex because we’re tired.
So if one’s wonderful noncomplaining wife is telling you that someone else questions your “normal”, could it be that she also questions it?
Is it possible that the op’s medically induced sex drive may be outpacing his wifes “normal” drive? Though since she is wonderful, noncomplaining and spoiling her husband, that must mean she’s all for it. So what do you care about other peoples opinions…
And if the co-workers comments are hitting home to your wife enough for her to bring it up at home, its probable that for whatever reason, she feels like she should/has to put out as often as she does and whle she is “wonderful and never complains” but internally she is resentful and put out - at least not enough to tell her coworker that it isn’t YOU that is being spoiled, its her.
It sounds like you have a great wife, take care of her - she’s been taking care of you.
I agree. There is probably a reason why the wife was talking about this with the coworker and then brought it up at home. Definitely time to talk to her about what’s going on.
We tend to have very different schedules, which doesn’t make it easier. Also, at the moment there is the small matter of the North Sea separating us. So right now, 0x a week. Humpf. How normal is that?!
