Muscles +20
Overweight -30
Dark hair +15
No hair -25
Not picky about most things +50
Long hair -20
Dark eyes +15
Facial hair -15
Sense of humor +40
Piercings -20
Likes cats +10
Weird clothing -25
Smart +50
Jewelry -10
Pays his own way +50
your basic moral fiber +5
pleasant speaking voice +5
really good at something (anything, from quilting to using a scanning tunneling microscope) +5
nipples “above the equator” +5
adaptible/comfortable in a variety of situations +5
tries new things (not necessarily sex) +5
healthy but not obsessive +5
sometimes laughs genuinely at my jokes +5
considerate of others (humans, not pets) +5
cultured but not snobby +5
nice smile +5
monogamous +5
no major psychological problems +5
smells nice +5
really likes music (nobody doesn’t, but I mean really) +5
fewer than 50 sexual partners lifetime +5
independent/is comfortable when alone +5
doesn’t watch/read garbage +5
likes pie after seeing a movie +5
catches that last reference and can discuss male fantasies without getting all confrontational +5
lives in 450-514 area code +5
doesn’t use “mysogynistic” every day +5
doesn’t use “mysogynistic” incorrectly +5
respects/likes her parents/family +5
unconventional +5
likes doing the nasty +100
Now the minuses:
can’t fly to Milan on a whim because “who’ll take care of Pixie!” her rescued pet squirrel -5
can accept if I dislike her friends -5
not between 18 and 55 -5
really hairy -100
Ah ah ahhhh…gotta be natural. None of this “stick on blonde” stuff…
But, you’re in luck, because while blondes score +10, brunettes (and i’m hoping you are) score +5…
He’s so funny that I laugh 70% of the time I’m with him: +50
He’s excellent at an instrument: +10
That instrument is the drums: +5
That instrument is the guitar: +10
He loves to watch good movies: +30
He likes “More Than Words” by Extreme: +5
He is not afraid to make eye contact: +10
He’s somewhere between skinny and built: +10
He smells amazing: +20
He’s not afraid to bust a move: +5
He has very nice teeth: +5
He is so handsome that my stomach knots up every time I see him: +30
He is waiting until marriage: -20
He is deeply religious: -20
He’s a cowboy: -50
He’s in love with Christina Aguilara: -30
He has facial hair: -10
He fails his classes: -20
He’s a heavy drinker/smoker/stoner: -20
He smells bad: -100
Laughing…+10 (I’m a comedian)
Likes “More Than Words”…+5 (Seen 'em in concert, and own all their CDs)
Eye Contact…+10 (I have Paul newman/John Travolta blue eyes)
Somewhere between skinny and built…+10 (Somewhere in there)
Amazing smell…+20 (Or so I’ve been told)
Move busting…+5 (Glad you didn’t say he has to be good at it)
Handsome…+30 (No comment)
So far, Superdude: 90. Now the minuses:
Has facial hair…-10 (I have a goatee)
I score an 80!
Now my turn.
Likes to laugh…+15
Smart…+20
Can at least hold her own in a sports conversation…+20
Likes the Cubs…+1000
Not afraid to make a fool out of herself in public…+150
Will MST3K a movie…+50
Has at least shoulder-length hair…+35
Has short hair, but makes it work…+10
Does not refer to genitalia by medical name unless at the doctor…+500
Natural blonde, brunette, redhead, or has black hair…+75
Younger than me…+100
Can drive a stick…+75
Is Medea’s Child…+1000000
Vegetarian…-500
Overly religious…-100
Has kids…-50
Not in shape…-150
Hmmm…
Funny +5
Smart +5
Very smart +5
Good english skills +5
Likes cheesy puns +5
Likes my cheesy puns +5
Digs smart brunettes +5
With cool glasses and big brown eyes +5
Who are goofy and opinionated and loud at times +5
Likes movies +5
Willing to watch lots of movies +5
Respects family +5
Dresses comfortably +5
Likes women who look/are respectable +5
Treats woman as such +5
Opens doors +5
Lets me open the door +5
Appreciates thoughtfulness +5
Is thoughtful +5
Really likes music +5
Laughs at fart jokes +5
Laughs when I fart+5
Sexually open +5
Interesting appearance +5
Good table manners and etiquette +5
Is angry -5
Is mean -5
Is petty -5
Is stupid -5
Dresses like he’s going to a club -5
Goes to clubs -5
Chemically altered hair -5
Likes those kidbizkorn bands -5
Needy -5
Superficial -5
Brawls -10
Tries to force me to partake in things I do not enjoy -5
Doesn’t respect separate interests -5
Skinny -3
Frighteningly muscular -3
Values appearance over brains -55555 (i see the irony of having this after the two physical traits)
Freaks out when I make a spelling error -6
Can put up with me +1,000,000,000 
Brown hair +15
Blond hair +5 - I’ve never had good luck with blondes.
Nice smile +10
Nice teeth +15
Slightly hairy chest +10
Goatee +50
Full Beard +25
No facial hair +15
Somewhat muscular build +100
Great sense of humor +50
Likes to jog +25
Likes to take walks +25
Likes to play basketball and softball with me +100
Is a hard worker +1000
Helps me around the house if I really need it +300
Likes kids +5000
Has respect for all women +100
Likes to go to the movies +50
Has 2-3 tattoos -35
Crooked/black teeth -100
Really hairy chest -25
Hairy back -5000
skinny/scrawny &/or overweight -1000
Angry -500
Violent Temper -500
Little or no patience -500
Pierced ears -100
Bad hygiene -1000
every inch < 5’10": +5
pretty eye color other than blue: +5
blue eyes: +10
smarter than me: +20
nice to everyone: +5
masculine hobbies: +10
lives with mother: -50
weighs over 200: +20
educated: +10
over-educated: -5
crunchy granola, tree-hugger outdoorsy: -20
vegetarian: -5
makes killer bbq: +10
wants me to be his cheap slut sex poodle: +10
wants me to be one of his cheap slut sex poodles: -100
reads: +20
happy in his employment: +5
confident: +20
muscular +10
long hair +10
open minded +10
good cook +10
eats well +10
gym rat +10
smokes -10
spend more on clothes than food -10
pay attention to fashion -10
pay attention to comfort +10
mentally tough +10
loves animals +10
doesnt’ care aboout money +50
*note: doesn’t mean you can’t have a lot of it, just means you can’t care.
does care about happiness over all else +50
allows me a round of golf once in a while +5
allows me to have the TV around Olympic times +5
puts up with my worrying +100
you are married to me…well…you automatically receive top marks.
Superdude, I scored a 685 on yours - not very good. I can’t drive a stick, and I don’t like sports. I must say, it’s awesome that you like Extreme!
It’s official, I’m 432 pts of Sexy. (But if you follow the Creaky/Rachelle scale, you’ll have to knock off about 145 pts).
Wow. I’m stunned. Moi? Sexy?
Cool.
So ladies, how you doin’?
Okay, lessee here:
Blue eyes…+10 (John Travolta/Paul Newman blue)
Nice to Everyone…+5
Masculine Hobbies…+10 (Sports nut, like to tinker with cars and around the house)
Educated…+10 (At least partially. I was kicked out of college for accidentally setting a lizard on fire)
BBQ…+10 (I don’t know about killer, but it’s good)
Cheap Slut Sex Poodle…+10
Reads…+20 (All the time)
Happily employed…+5 (Stand-up comic)
Confident…+20 (Confiednt bordering on arrogant. I prefer cocky myself)
I score 100! When’s the first round of Poodle Sex, you Cheap Slut?
Well, you can win it all with one fell swoop perhaps:
Is The Lead Singer of a German Metal Band that rhymes with Mammstein: contest over, you win
Otherwise:
Is German: +3000
However, Is German in the way Helmut Kohl is German: -1,000
(you can keep 2,000 just for the accent)
Smoker: +20
Smoker who isn’t really confident or good at smoking: -100
Green Eyes:+10
Brown Hair:+10
Crooked Lips (one thicker than the other, pouty, offset): +15
Severely Angled Jaw: +10
Swimmer: +75
Baseball Player: +20
Offensive Linebacker from New Mexico: +30
Sexual Dominant: +75
Taller than me (5’8"): +10
Sleeps in red satin pajama bottoms: +10
Drinker: +20
Powerful personality that would make other women jealous of me: +30
Asshole as a result: -40
Willing to pull my hair when he kisses me: +20
Bad kisser anyway:-40
Not too hard to accomplish.
Jarbaby
Yeah, I’ve heard that women like GAY men. (I crack myself up.)
Then again, from this week’s FreeWillAstrology:
Of course if I were a successful rockstar I’d be happier, but (trust me) twice the a$$hole.
I could, however, put up with absolutely anybody who could post this:
Rachelle, how you doin’?
clean clothing+50
clean hair+70
moustache, goatee, beard-50
thinks the President is great-50
tall+50
can play chess+50
likes rap-60
can cook+90
likes musicians: +50
Orioles fan: +50
wears sleveless tops: +50
glasses: +25
hates sports: -50
has tattoos or piercings: +25 each
likes a man with a goatee: +50
smoker: +25
smokes Marlboro reds: +50
appreciates the beauty of draught beer: +50
considers rock music a lowly pastime: -100
As long as I don’t get thigh burn, I’m happy. 
Not a singer in any band but played a mean bass at one time.
OK, spent 3 years in Germany. Speak Ami-Deutsch (the official language of American GIs in USAEUR/USAFE). How much for that?
Non-filtered Camels for 15 years +20 (Deserves bonus points, IMO)
Blue-Green Eyes, +10
Brown Hair, +10 (If you can convince me to quit shaving it)
Pouty Lips, +15
Swimmer, +75
Offensive Lineman, born in Dona Ana County +30
Sexually dominant +75
6’1" +10
Willing to sleep in red satin pajamas, if you insist on something at all +10
Nothing like a good German Bier +20
Strong Personality +30
Never been called an asshole, hope to never be
I’m definitely a hair-puller +20
Good kisser? Only one way to find out
325 plus whatever I get for the German thing.
Damn. You’re scaring me.
Oohh I got some more
Guys in cutoff t-shirts…+100
with jeans…+1000
And the ultimate turn on for me, (this description just happens to fit my boyfriend exactly!!!)
…blonde hair, blue eyes, glasses, wearing a white cutoff t-shirt and jeans, talking about football with me while admitting that I know more than he ever will about the Tampa Bay Bucs…hehehe…
::::swoon::::
See, now I’m horny.
Aaaahhhh!!! I almost forgot one!!!
Deliciously toned muscles, particularly in the abdominal area, washboard stomach and such a beautiful body that I just want to eat him alive…+1,000,000 and as an added bonus, my heart. 