Sha-clump, sha-clump, sha-clump, sha-clump; zoot, zoot, zoot. FUCK!

The BBQ Pit
#1

It’s driving me mad, I tells ya! A young woman who “works” on my floor walks past my office at least 20 times a day doing whatever it is she does. She invariably wears huge cloggy shoes and some sort of coarse denim or canvas pants. She drags her feet when she walks and she has fairly rotund thighs, so the thread title is the auditory result. In addition, she wears these tops that show the midriff; bad idea for this chickee. Some people should NOT be a slave to fashion. If she worked for me, I could say something to her, but as it is I have to hope for an open elevator shaft.

Okay, it’s lame, but I’m tired and cranky.

#2

A gentleman would ask her to remove her pants.

#3

bwa-hahahahahahahaha! ::wipes tears:: Thanks - made my day.

#4

I know you don’t work with me, but your lass has a doppelganger. Let me be the first to say that I am not slender, however I don’t wear flipflops or midriff tops. And I know what the lass in my office does, she’s an admin assistant. I have yet, however, to work out why she has to walk past my cube approximately six times an hour. She supports no one on my side of the floor, and the mail room is the other side of my cube. The only thing I can think of is wandering around to gossip, but I’m sure she’s not the sort to waste too much time doing that. So why, why, why, with the constant thwacking of the flipflops? (Neverminding the unflatteringly tight clothes, as I have no real wish to be the pot calling the kettle black, and while I try to dress, er, professionally, I’m sure she does too, whatever I think of her fashion sense!)

#5

I was under the impression that that’s what the “FUCK!” in the title was from.

At my first job, there was a really horrible, nasty, mean-spirited woman who would just spend most of the day verbally abusing my friend. One morning we’d all just come into work, when we hear this swishing and thumping noise. It gradually got louder and louder… then, she appeared. Wearing a bright pink nylon sweatsuit thing that was offensive on several levels. She was not a small woman, so not only was there a lot of pink to take in all at once, but it was all rubbing together and making so much noise that I imagine the heat from the friction must’ve been unbearable. She stopped, said something short and condescending to my friend to start the day, then started walking off, making a lot of noise as she left.

We all sat in silence for a second, trying to comprehend what we’d just seen. Then another friend said, “Looks like Cristo’s been at work again.”

#6

<Name here> is a nut,
She has a rubber butt,
and every time she walks,
She goes Phutt, Phutt, Phutt!

One six-year-old to another

#7

Are you guys trying to tell me there really are people like Mimi on the Drew Carey Show? I find that rather incomprehensible.

#8

Oh, there are.

I worked with one unholy shrew who wore power blue eyeshadow as thick as Mimi’s.

She also made it clear that she would be the woman that could change me.

Yeah, change me to celibate and scared…

#9

That’s the worst part for me. I hate when people scuff their feet when they walk.
Do they not hear that annoying sound?

PICK UP YOUR FEET!

#10

Wow the girl who quit here earlier this year must now be working for you. Let’s see?
Young woman? Check.
Walks past 20 times a day? Check.
Cloggy Shoes (Sometimes flip-flops) Check.
Cors denim and canvas pant ? Check.
Drags her feet? Check.
Large thigs? Check.
And the midriff top? Oh, Check!

Yup, it’s her.

#11

You know, this may well (finally) explain the “zooty zoot zoot!” joke …

#12

Many years ago I worked in New York with a woman named “Mary”. One day, Mary decided to forget about walking and purchased a child’s Razor scooter to get around. She zoomed through offices and the hallways. Her new mode of transportation was loud, distracting, creaky and pretty dangerous when turning corners. This woman was in her late forties. Disastrous and really unprofessional.

#13

Why not buy her a nice pair of corduroy slacks?

#14

These aren’t flipflops, they’re like wooden clogs, so it’s more of a “sha-clonk” with every step. We have the flip-flop set, as well, with the additional sound of the rubber slapping the bottoms of their feet, more a “sha-flap” noise. Equally irritating, I can tell you.

And they don’t even sing do-wa-diddy.

#15

No fair. The gorgeous admin next to me with the perfect bod and tasteful clothes doesn’t make any noise at all as she glides by twice a day.

I feel so cheated.

#16

If I didn’t respect you, I’d say ‘fuck you’. You know how to hurt a guy.

#17

stormhauke, meet Tammy Faye Messner (remarried ex-wife of Jim Bakker).

#18

Well, today she has reached some sort of fashion-risk pinnacle. She’s wearing a combination wood-heeled sandal-flipflop footwear that goes sha-clompflap. The pants are some sort of nylon material that whooshes, but the capper is a skin-tight :eek: pink top that allows all the rolls of fat to protrude for all to view.

Ya know…I try not to be critical of others’ physical appearance, being a middle-aged sagging type myself, but goddamnit, this woman has no personal pride in the way she looks. Perhaps that’s admirable in some sense, but she dresses compeletely unprofessionally, IMO.

Yes, I’m obsessing and need a vacation (starts tomorrow :smiley: ), what of it?

#19

Today we had one who was wearing the leather pants and the ‘belly shirt’.

She is a somewhat rotund girl with a rather largeish waist, and therefore there are visible type rolls and stretch marks abounding from her outfit.

What gets me the most though isn’t her choice of clothing (although I’d like to tell her to get some that fit, cause that camel-toe just ain’t professional).

Nope, it’s the DIRT.

She’s always dirty. Not as in smelly, but there is visible dirt on her all the time. Dark, sooty looking dirt on her arms, on her face, all over her.

I wonder if she has heard of soap, but I doubt it. She does apply makeup, in copious amounts, and it appears she does so on top of the dirt. I don’t get it. How could someone be that dirty in an office environment?

#20

Perhaps she moonlights as a mudwrestler?