Shagnasty and the Worst Anecdote in SDMB History

[Rufus_Xavier]

You know what this thread needs? A bar scene!

Waitress: Hi! welcome to the Ultra-Snooty, 4-star Fodor’s Guide, Wine and Beer Bar! Would you like to see a menu?

Guy: Um, sure.

Waitress: Too bad! We don’t have one! We’re much too sophisticated for that! What can I get you to drink?

Girl: I don’t care for beer or wine, so I’ll just have…milk.

(7 people within earshot suddenly gasp loudly and the whole room falls silent)

Girl: Errrr, that is, I mean, I’ll have…a…club soda?

(crickets chirping)

Girl: With a lime wedge.

(the room sound returns to normal)

Guy: Whew. For a minute there, I thought you were an unsophisticated simpleton.

Waitress: What would you like, sir?

Guy: I’ll have a Zima.

[Stonebow]

@Guinastasia

Ordering milk is NOT “uncouth.” It’s odd, yes, but not uncouth. “Uncouth” would be if she asked for a bendy-straw and then sat there slurping it up.

Why exactly asking for a bendy straw uncouth? Maybe she has a condition that makes sipping from a glass painful- sensititive teeth perhaps.

Any behavior can be rationalized as acceptable if you want to dig deep enough. But your example shows me that you DO have things that you consider out of bounds/ silly or uncouth in the right situation. Just because we don’t agree where the line is, doesn’t mean there is not one.

[Debaser]

@CarnalK

You people need to relax. Did “foodies” burn your village?

No kidding. This is one of the most unusual threads ever.

Shagnasty, your short story makes perfect sense and is not offensive in any way.

To dissect the story to the extent that people are doing is just nuts. People seem to be willing to read a whole lot into it that just isn’t there.

[Kolak_of_Twilo]

@CarnalK

You people need to relax. Did “foodies” burn your village?

Thank you.

And on that note, could someone please shoot this absurdly overlong thread squarely between the eyes and put it out of its misery?

And by the way, I love milk. I drink it all the time. Just not in a bar.

[Hellestal]

@Kolak of Twilo

Thank you.

And on that note, could someone please shoot this absurdly overlong thread squarely between the eyes and put it out of its misery?

And by the way, I love milk. I drink it all the time. Just not in a bar.

Kolak, given time you might realize the absurdity of repeatedly posting to a thread that you believe to be unworthy of attention.

And I, by the way, have a habit of asking for milk-shakes in bars. My thought-process always goes, “Bars serve drinks that people like. I like milk-shakes. Ergo, bars should have milk-shakes.” Never hurts to ask, I figure.

[Frank]

@Stricker van Gogh

And I, by the way, have a habit of asking for milk-shakes in bars. My thought-process always goes, “Bars serve drinks that people like. I like milk-shakes. Ergo, bars should have milk-shakes.” Never hurts to ask, I figure.

Chocolate Milkshake

1 oz Creme de Cacao
1/2 oz Kahlua Coffee Liqueur
1/2 oz Irish Cream
1 oz Milk

Pour all ingredients into a cocktail shaker half-filled with ice cubes. Adjust amount of milk if desired. Shake well, strain into a cocktail glass, and serve.

[Avumede]

@The Mad Hermit

They should have gone to the Korova milk bar. They put knives in it, making you ready for a night of ultra-violence.

This whole stupid thread was worth it for this comment. And it wouldn’t have been so hilarious if I hadn’t sat through a few pages of the thread, either!

[msmith537]

@Rufus Xavier

Guy: I’ll have a Zima.

@Rufus Xavier

Guy: I’ll have a Zima.

Very good sir…and you may feel comfortible that your lifestyle choice is accepted at this establishment…
Actually I have a similar true story. The characters are one of our (male) Directors, myself and another Consultant. The scene - a fancy steakhouse:

Director: You guys want to get some cocktails? Let’s get some cocktails!
Everyone: Sure.
Director: …Great! I’ll have a cosmopolitan
Me: :dubious:
Consultant: :eek:
Waiter:
Director: What?
Me: Oh…nothing…that’s a fine drink…
Consultant: …yes if you are a WOMAN!!
Me: Oh don’t worry…I’m sure that will go great with your salad!
Director: :mad: …BULLSHIT!! I drink these all the time! [to waiter] is this a woman’s drink?
Waiter: …uh…oh no sir…lots of people drink them…
Me: :rolleyes: Which character from Sex in the City is more likely to drink a cosmo - Carrie, or Mr. Big?
Consultant: :dubious: You seem to know an awful lot about SinC…
Me: :smack:
and that’s not even the first time. My first job I’m out with a Partner, our client (a Sr VP from a Fortune 500 company) and another teammate. I ordered a drink that the Partner found a litttle “fruity” so he proceeded to order round after round of “girl drinks” to the table. (He didn’t force us to drink them, he just made it clear that if we wanted to drink for free on his expense account, that was the only drinks he would order).

[Frank]

@msmith537

Actually I have a similar true story.

Now that is a good anecdote!

[Excalibre]

@msmith537

Very good sir…and you may feel comfortible that your lifestyle choice is accepted at this establishment…

So now you pop in to insult queers by implying that we drink Zima? My drink of choice is bourbon, so let’s put this to rest.

Or a Coke with a slice of lemon in it. That’s some high-class shit there!

[andros]

@msmith537

I ordered a drink that the Partner found a litttle “fruity” so he proceeded to order round after round of “girl drinks” to the table. (He didn’t force us to drink them, he just made it clear that if we wanted to drink for free on his expense account, that was the only drinks he would order).

GIRL DRINK DRUNK!

[msmith537]

@andros

GIRL DRINK DRUNK!

Actually yes!!..he kept chanting that!!
What’s that from Kids in the Hall or something?

@Excalibre

So now you pop in to insult queers by implying that we drink Zima? My drink of choice is bourbon, so let’s put this to rest.

I don’t recall saying anything about homosexuals.

[Excalibre]

@msmith537

I don’t recall saying anything about homosexuals.

Hon, that’s what you were implying. I wasn’t offended by it, so unbunch your undies.

[Duke_of_Rat]

Homosexuals drink Zima?? I tried it once, does that mean… :eek: Howzabout Smirnoff Ice??

Just kidding here guys… Carry on.

[The_Devil_s_Grandmother]

@msmith537

What’s that from Kids in the Hall or something?

Yep.

[Guinastasia]

@CarnalK

You people need to relax. Did “foodies” burn your village?

Yes, as a matter of fact, they did!
(BTW, there’s nothing wrong with drinking Zima and wine coolers-if that’s what you LIKE. I meant people who drink them because they somehow see them as “cool.” People who go out of their way to do what’s hot, what’s now, what’s “edgy”. Think that blonde-haired consultant on The Simpsons, the one who’s always doing the market research, and you get the idea.)

[msmith537]

@Excalibre

Hon, that’s what you were implying. I wasn’t offended by it, so unbunch your undies.

You know, people besides homosexuals can make lifestyle choices.

@Duke of Rat

Homosexuals drink Zima?? I tried it once, does that mean… Howzabout Smirnoff Ice??

Not homosexuals per se…but Zima’s kind of considered an effeminate drink. Now Mike’s Hard Lemonade sounds about as gay as they come.

[msmith537]

@Guinastasia

Think that blonde-haired consultant on The Simpsons, the one who’s always doing the market research, and you get the idea.)

You mean Lindsy Neigle?

[Guinastasia]

@msmith537

You mean Lindsy Neigle?

Yep, that’s the one!

[clairobscur]

For some reason, I feel the need to experiment. Next time I’ll be in a wine bar and next time I’ll be in a fancy restaurant, I’ll order a glass of milk…