Shagnasty and the Worst Anecdote in SDMB History

[yBeayf]

And I’m 22. Behold the power of reruns!

[msmith537]

@pasunejen

Okay, so we know what may be considered sophisticated by a certain breed of snob. The real question is why the fuck anybody should care. *

I don’t know. Why do YOU care if someone thinks you are sophisticated or not?

Personally, I generally like to hang out with people who bring something to the table - tastes or activities I might not know or experience.

@neutron star

That people will judge them by their actual personality instead of consulting a list of superficial bullshit to see if they qualify for friendship?

Everyone is just the sum of all their superficial bullshit.

Example - I’m at a 30th birthday party in Philly. The people having the party take us to some Irish “frat” bar filled with alt-rock bands, dudes with baseball hats girls dancing on the tables and so on. Without reading too much into this, what does this tell me? They like to have fun, are unpretentious except in a middle-class suburban kind a way and their tastes haven’t really evolved in the 8 years since they graduated college. Not a big deal to me, I like to mix things up a bit, but our tastes are basically a reflection of who we are.

[Marlitharn]

@matt_mcl

So tell me, what does one order at a bar if one doesn’t drink alcohol?

I order Coke when I’m the designated driver. And if it’s a really really nice place, the Coke comes in a sturdy plastic cup that I can take home and re-use.

(In case anyone hasn’t figured it out, yes, I tend to frequent the kinds of places where there’s at least one guy hollering “PLAY FREEBIRD!” from somewhere back by the pool tables.)

[neutron_star]

@msmith537

Everyone is just the sum of all their superficial bullshit.

I disagree. Strongly. I mean, how many of the most brilliant and interesting people in the world have had eccentricities or tastes that set them outside of the norm? Would you not want Einstein for a friend because he had a messy head of hair?

Perhaps many of the differences in opinion on this subject come from the fact that some consider these ideals of sophistication more superficial than others. If I dress like a slob, does that say something deep and meaningful about my personality? Or does it just mean that I’m too busy with things I consider more interesting to even care?

[Jenaroph]

@Queen Tonya

I’m guessing the heat from that thread is still too fresh, this is the definitive worst anecdote in all of SDMB history?

Nah. I’d say some of the beauties Roland Deschain barfed up right before he was banned were worse. For different reasons, of course.

[Kolak_of_Twilo]

@matt_mcl

So tell me, what does one order at a bar if one doesn’t drink alcohol?

Frankly, I’d say whatever they have that you would want. Juice, mineral water, coffee. etc. Any dairy products in a bar however, I would almost always regard as suspect. I mean, I can’t imagine most bartenders I know paying attention to things like spoilage until the milk gets too chunky to pour.

[Beware_of_Doug]

@Shagnasty

John ordered and expensive glass of wine.

“Waiter, bring me an expensive glass of wine…No, on second thought, make it and expensive glass of wine.”

[mhendo]

@Kolak of Twilo

Any dairy products in a bar however, I would almost always regard as suspect.

So i assume, then, that you’re unfamiliar with the rather large number of cocktails and mixed drinks that contain milk and/or cream?

Brandy Alexander anyone? Or is that too '70s?
Regarding Shagnasty:

My wife drinks a glass of milk with dinner two or three times a week. I wished i’d known earlier that this habit made her an unacceptable partner. :rolleyes:

[pasunejen]

@msmith537

I don’t know. Why do YOU care if someone thinks you are sophisticated or not?

Personally, I generally like to hang out with people who bring something to the table - tastes or activities I might not know or experience.

I don’t care if someone thinks I’m sophisticated or not. It’s not even a word I use unless I’m being facetious or in some other way attempting humor. (And, btw, by your definition I myself could in many respects be considered a sophisticated person. So it ain’t just sour grapes or feeling put upon.)

When I think about what someone’s “bringing to the table”, it’s more about personality–we can share tastes or be polar opposites, as long as we get along well. But frankly, the other party’s attaching much importance to “sophistication” would be a deal breaker for me in a dating relationship and almost any friendship. Do what you want, be concerned with what you want, hang out with who you want, but why pass judgment when other people do exactly the same?

[Kolak_of_Twilo]

@mhendo

So i assume, then, that you’re unfamiliar with the rather large number of cocktails and mixed drinks that contain milk and/or cream?

Brandy Alexander anyone? Or is that too '70s?

I am very familiar with such drinks. In my experience, those types of drinks are more likely to be ordered in bars in restaurants rather than ye olde neighborhood bar or the new trendy club down the street.

Furthermore, having worked in restaurants and bars for the last 18 years I would still question the regularity with which most bartenders I have known (working in a tavern or bar) check expiration dates on the dairy products they have stocked behind the bar.

None of my comments should be taken to disparage someone who would choose to order milk in such an establishment. I would however stand by my assertion that it might not be the wisest choice.

[Already_in_Use]

I only drink milk and order it wherever I go, and I get CRAZY laid. Just sayin’.

[Miller]

@Athena

That she didn’t drink alcohol or didn’t like wine is of little consequence. The important bit here is that she didn’t know how to act in a fancy restaurant. You simply don’t order milk in a 5 star restaurant as an after dinner drink, any more than you would, for example, eat with your fingers, wear sweat pants and a T-shirt, or talk so loudly that half the restaurant could hear you.

Okay, I’m socially adapted enough to understand why the last three are inappropriate in a fancy restaurant. Can you fill me in on what’s wrong with drinking milk?

Plenty of people would probably be OK with this. But this guy wasn’t. He didn’t want to teach someone how to behave in the social situations he found himself in, he wanted someone who already knew the drill.

Teach her how to behave? What is she? A woman, or a beagle?

There’s nothing wrong with looking for a mate with similiar interests. If you’re a foodie (and I’m almost cringe at using that term after the other thread), you probably want a mate who thinks of food as something other than bare sustenance. If you’re an avid outdoorsperson, chances are you want a mate who also likes to bike and hike and whatever else you do. If you don’t drink alcohol and equate it with your alcoholic father who beat you when he drank, chances are you’re not going to want to date a person who wants wine with dinner every night. Nothing is wrong with that, and I don’t see anything wrong with the guy deciding, early in the relationship, that their differences were too vast to overcome.

She doesn’t like wine. If that’s a “vast difference,” the guy isn’t a sophisticate; he’s a drunk.

But you’re missing the point of Shagnasty’s anecdote. People have different tastes, and thats okay. Sometimes, two people’s tastes are not compatible. That’s okay, too. Except to Shagnasty. Read the “moral” to his story. If you don’t like the things Shagnasty says you’re supposed to like, you’re a simpleton who deserves to be looked down upon by people like him. That’s what I’m pitting, here. Not the lush with the giant bank account.

[Kolak_of_Twilo]

@Already in Use

I only drink milk and order it wherever I go, and I get CRAZY laid. Just sayin’.

Well, they do say it does a body good.

I just didn’t know how good.

[Queen_Tonya]

@matt_mcl

So tell me, what does one order at a bar if one doesn’t drink alcohol?

Well, in the first place, the fella likely asked something like “Would you like to go for a drink?” giving her a grand opportunity to counter with a coffee bar suggestion or something more to her liking.

In the second place, I’d have went for the (hopefully) cute and spunky non-sophisticated order if I found myself in that situation, ask for a strawberry milkshake or chocolate yoohoo, something unconventional that will at least spark a conversation.

Sure, if he judged her solely on the milk order he’s potentially missing out. If, however, enjoying fine wine is a daily thing for him and she abstains, better to understand that up front as well, no?

[Abbie_Carmichael]

Hey, if I were out there in the dating world and I found my new love interest drank alcohol, that’d be the end of it. We could be friends, but no more. Alcohol is just something that has no place in my life, and if I were single, looking to settle down, I’d want a guy that felt the same way.

The guy can dump her because he thinks her earlobes are too big for all I care, but in this case he really does sound like a pisher.

I don’t have a problem with dealbreakers, but I really don’t think this woman has missed out on anything special by having this guy dump her.

It’s one thing to want, or not want, someone who drinks.

It’s quite another to assume a ton of stuff about someone because they do or do not drink. Having a wine cellar filled with $500 bottles doesn’t make somebody classy, nor does ordering milk at a bar make someone backwards. Class comes from how you treat other people and how you conduct yourself in general. In this case, I’d rather hang with the milk drinker.

@Miller

But it’s not the only sign of sophistication. She doesn’t drink wine, sure. But maybe she paints. Maybe she enjoys the opera. Maybe she speaks five different languages. There are a hundred thousand other ways to be sophisticated than drinking wine. Shagnasty and his millionaire friend are apparently basing their entire judgement of this woman off of one thing. That’s the very definition of shallow.

Totally.

If the milk had been one thing out of several that she did, it wouldn’t rub me the wrong way. When dating we have to look for patterns of behavior in the other person: and if we find a pattern that is inconsistent with what we want, it’s best to end the relationship immediately before emotions get involved.

But to assume she’s a member of the Great Unwashed just because she doesn’t drink wine? What a superficial, shallow, snobby :wally

[matt_mcl]

@Miller

But it’s not the only sign of sophistication. She doesn’t drink wine, sure. But maybe she paints. Maybe she enjoys the opera. Maybe she speaks five different languages.

The reason this is funny is because I don’t drink wine, but I paint, enjoy the opera, and speak five different languages.

[Zoe]

Nothing is ultimately more unsophisticated than pretensiousness.

[AwSnappity]

So there was me, that is, Alexandra, and a veck, that is, the man I was with, and we were sitting in the Korova Milkbar trying to make up our rassoodocks what to drink that evening. I was ready for a bit of the old in-out-in-out, real savage, so milk-plus into my brooko it was. The old grahzny bratchny at first thought me sarky, O my brothers, but I finished my moloko right skorry. “Merzky soomka!” he horned, and away it was.

I guffed, for the moloko had gone straight to my gulliver, and it was time for a bit of the old ultra-violence. Me and my three droogs went out in search of a good drat. Well welly welly welly well well! We found our ded and had ourselves a choodessny time, O my brothers. Oobivat we did, and it was no small expenditure. Plott and guttiwuts of the nadmenny moodge, all over the road to my liking. It had been a wonderful evening and what I needed now, to give it the perfect ending, was a little of the Ludwig Van.

[roger_thornhill]

@Zoe

Nothing is ultimately more unsophisticated than pretensiousness.

Not even a misspelling from a teacher?

Not having pretensions of grandeur, are we, Zoe?!

[aurelian]

God, I must be suicidal to get involved in this mess, but I’m doin’ it anyway…

I dated someone for 2 months (nothing serious) who would only eat chicken (preferably fried), plain burgers, pasta with plain tomato sauce, potatoes. No Asian, nothing spicy, and super-picky about vegetables.
I, on the other hand, absolutely love spicy food and just about always open to try new things (though I am a bit limited by my allergies - it sucked growing up in a Greek family and not being able to eat fish/ seafood). There are several restaurants in town that I adore: the Himalayan place, the great taco joint, the Thai restaurants… Anyway, the point: he was so picky that we couldn’t go anywhere if it wasn’t a crap-on-the-walls chain restaurant. But going out to eat means a lot to me; I don’t have a lot of money, but for me, paying for such great food is worth it. We broke up, and the fact the we couldn’t agree on food was a large part of it.

I felt kinda Seinfeld-esque breaking up with someone in part because we couldn’t agree on food… but food is important to me! I love to cook, I love to share really amazing food with the people that are important to me… and I couldn’t do that with this guy - none of my famous puttanesca for him, what are these weird green things? Too spicy!!

The guy in question may be a dick, who knows, but it was the first date! Neither party knows the other very well, and it’s a time to kind of get a sketch of what the other person is like. Whether this guy was a raging alkie or the sommelier at a frou-frou restaurant, or maybe just a person who loves to share good wine with his friends, he did nothing wrong by deciding not to call Suzie back. He made a judgement based on her behavior and his interpretation of it (wrong or right) which is what most people do on first dates.