Not enough wind to blow a fart out of the boat.
Built like a brick shithouse.
Works for
A shapely woman
Big muscular guy
An object constructed sturdily.
This may be totally accurate but I’ve always heard it to mean the exact opposite, that is if someone was sucking the hind tit they were at a disadvantage or getting the “short end of the stick”. As in:
“Ol’ Earl took good care of his boys but his step-sons was always suckin’ the hind tit”
Again this may be an incorrect usage but that’s the way I’ve heard it used around here.
“Everyone is beautiful in the dark.” She’s not pretty and Im not picky.
“Nailin’ a fried egg to the wall.” Extreme efforts expended for a futile goal.
“President of the El Dorado fan club.” Woman with a large behind. link
“Built like an SUV.” Short woman with large breasts. (Top heavy with a short wheel base).
“At this point, its academic.” Its time to fix problems, not discuss the cause or lay blame.
I’ve heard something similar to this: “All cats are gray in the dark.” I love that one. And though it isn’t cryptic at all, I’ve always enjoyed “Hope in one hand, shit in the other. See which one fills up first”
I always heard “shit in one hand and wish in the other…”.
Or in polite company, you may substitute “spit in …”.
Unless I’m reading that wrong, it says the number of tits a boar has is an indication of how many his daughters will have. 
My father-in-law, if presented with anything that’s a little more expensive or “fancy” than he thinks is necessary, says, “Ah. Now we’re farting through silk, hmmm?”
Istra bilgina kish kish karia
Say it again:
Istra bilgina kish kish karia
It’s an Aramaic (yes, Aramaic) saying, dating back to Roman times, that means “a single coin in a jar makes the most noise”, or in other words, the stupidest people are often the loudest.
And now you know something in Aramaic.
I was working under the premise that it’s similar to “I’m sofa kingdom”.
My dad always said…
“Busier than a field mouse covering up buffalo shit”
Always liked that one 
It was me who was reading it wrong…:smack:
My brain was apparently cattywampus there…
I’m forgetting the lead-in for this one. The back end of the saying is “as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.”
Was the beginning "Busy as . . "?
Dumber than a box of hammers.
For emphasis, you can add “…labeled ‘One Box of Hammers’. … In a hammer store.”
The phrase “to let the cat out of the bag” in fact means to divulge a secret, esp. inadvertently or carelessly, and so Lust4Life’s origin for the term, which I’ve heard before, would seem to be closer to the mark.
“Pissing through the same straw,” for people being really, possibly inseparably friendly with each other. There is, of course, the equivalent “drinking through the same straw,” but it lacks the punch, I think.
And on the subject of urine, the Yiddish saying, “You can’t pee down my back and make me think it’s raining.”
One I used to hear as a child are “old maids and priests make the best parents” (specifically re: people who don’t have kids and never will giving child rearing advice, but back seat drivers in general)
An idiom heard a lot in corporate circles: “arranging deck chairs on the Titanic”. I’ve heard it used for two different (but not opposite) meanings:
1- fixating on a minor problem while a MAJOR one is ignored
or
2- doing something to keep busy to not concentrate on the problem you can’t do anything about
“Like pissin’ on a forest fire” - a minor and useless approach to a major problem
“Lie down with dogs, get up with fleas” - be mindful of the company you keep
…and when my son was small and being particularly rowdy and hyperactive, his dad would say he was like “a wild weed monkey on fire!”
Speaking of corporate-speak, how about the “come to Jesus meeting” where one opinion is championed through overwhelming force, much like an intervention with an alcoholic.
There’s an Israeli saying that goes something like this:
“They say your sister’s a whore - now go prove you don’t have a sister”
(Usually shortened to “Go prove you don’t have a sister”)
It’s about the difficulty of proving a negative, especially when defending yourself.